


Condicio Sine Qua Non

by futureimperfect, Miri Cleo (miri_cleo)



Series: Sine Qua Non [3]
Category: Law & Order, Law & Order: SVU
Genre: BDSM, F/F, Femslash, Kink, Mentor-Student, Pre-Femslash, Threesome - F/F/F, Voyeurism, Workplace Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-24
Updated: 2010-06-11
Packaged: 2017-10-09 17:03:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 69,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/89676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futureimperfect/pseuds/futureimperfect, https://archiveofourown.org/users/miri_cleo/pseuds/Miri%20Cleo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Abbie Carmichael is just one of the women in the DA's office with a lot on her plate, and while she doesn't need Alex Cabot adding to that, she finds that they continue to cross paths as Alex negotiates her new job and Abbie her relationships, past and present.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Law and Order and Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC universal.
> 
> All original characters were created by and belong to the authors. Please do not use without permission.

Abbie paused at the threshold of Nora's office, quietly watching the blonde as she turned a page. The soft glow of the desk lamp was pleasing, more so than the streetlights would be below. A few long moments hung before the older woman looked up. "Abbie. I thought you'd gone home hours ago."

Abbie shrugged, her elegant features weary. "I left, but I didn't want to go home." She had paced the streets, thoughts too much for a solitary night. The tall brunette moved across the room slowly and without hesitating, slid easily to rest on the edge of Nora's desk.

The DA sat back, waiting for an explanation. There was more to Abbie Carmichael than most cared to look for, and more beneath that than even Nora was sure she'd never get the chance to see.

"I don't want to make the deal." Abbie knew Nora wouldn't need any details to know what she was talking about.

Nora took off her glasses slowly and blinked. Even after hours, she balanced her job and the personal. She could sympathize, knowing why Abbie might not want to make the deal, knowing that she wouldn't want to make it herself. "You don't want to make the deal," she said softly as she put her chin in her palm, "or _we_ don't want to make the deal, Abbie?"

Abbie folded her arms across her chest, looking along the edge of the mahogany desk. She didn't honestly know. The evidence was shaky at best, and the years on the table reflected that. God knew how many things crossed her an Jack's desk any given month, piling up in corners, plaguing her dreams, and any that could be moved to the archives of closed cases should be considered some small victory. Mysteries solved, paper shuffled...justice. Still, something about this case, maybe compounded by the lateness of the hour, was making her stomach churn.

She did her best not to shrug, "It just doesn't seem right this time." Something about Nora's quiet manner gave Abbie hope she wouldn't have to explain.

The words struck Nora; Abbie was generally so sure about what was right and what was wrong, or at least she was able to make solid and steady determinations about what might be more right and less wrong. She had rarely seen the young woman look conflicted to the point of being lost, and she blinked thoughtfully for a long moment. "Why don't we take a walk?" The suggestion was quiet, and even though the hour was late, Nora made it. Abbie needed to be surrounded by something else, whether that walk ended between walls or not, she wanted, somehow, to help.

Abbie's eyes cleared for a moment, and she looked at the other woman with quiet interest. She enjoyed working for Nora, a welcome change from those who sat in this office before, and would do so again soon enough. Still, the brunette hadn't expected more than a short discussion, or perhaps an assignment from the other woman when she'd come in that night. Abbie found herself nodding, sliding off the desk. "I....Yeah, ok." It wasn't eloquent, but there was too much in her mind for that.

Nora simply nodded and stood. She folded her glasses, putting them away before taking a moment to simply straighten her desk into something of a more academic mess. She pulled on her coat and walked Abbie to the elevator, quiet the entire time. Some lights were still on her floor, but that was to be expected; at least they were leaving before the cleaning crew arrived. She smiled to herself as she thought of the long nights. As the doors closed them in, she looked up to Abbie. "What is it that you really want from me tonight, Abbie?"

Abbie shivered against the older woman's tone, though the words melted her resolve somewhat. She didn't have an answer, though the question deserved one almost painfully. The brunette moved her hands to her pockets, then to cross protectively in front of her without thinking. What did she want? Agreement, contradiction, simplicity? The elevator doors opened, and they stepped out into the night, Abbie automatically following Nora as she turned down the street toward the courthouse, a path they walked without thinking.

"I don't know, Nora, I'm sorry." The years of practiced confidence didn't leave her so easily, "It's just, maybe SVU doesn't agree with me. It's silly really, I mean, I can see death every day and do my job." Abbie just put one foot in front of the other while she waited for a reply pensively.

The city was falling quiet, or rather as quiet as New York could manage. Street cleaners hummed, slowly working to clear away the day's wreckage, and a more pleasant clatter of a late carriage horse echoed in the distance, heading home from the last tour of the night.

Smiling still, Nora shook her head. She placed a calming hand on Abbie's slender arm, her fingers brushing against the brunette's longer, more elegant ones. But Nora was not comparing herself to the younger woman, not like that. "It's all right not to know; you don't always need to be so sure." She might have said that that drive was the affliction of the young, but she would only be kidding herself about how many times, in that day alone, she had agonized over a decision that required surety that could not be absolute. But if Abbie was looking for something more concrete, for Nora's agreement or disagreement about SVU, she wasn't getting it--not just then, not right there underneath the street lights as they passed them.

Abbie paused at the touch, letting their footfalls slow and then cease. She instinctively stood a little closer to the older woman, drawn in by the security exuding from the blond. Something in the comment struck her, the fundamental disconnect in their lives, "If we're not sure, if we cant be sure, then what gives us the right to do this work?" Usually she wouldn't let it sink so deep, but when reality gives perspective it's hard to look away.

"Oh, Abbie..." Nora shook her head and held in a quiet laugh. She didn't have an answer, and she started to walk again, gently urging Abbie to settle into the rhythm of her steps. There had been so many heated conversations between them about what gave them the right to do one thing or another--to give, to take, to impose one thing and not another. And there had been very few times where they agreed. But this was not her office, and Nora wasn't surrounded by her books along with her convictions. "Someone has to do it." She looked up the steps to the courthouse as they neared them and shook her head. "And if we didn't question ourselves, there would be something so much less...human about it."

Much earlier in the day, a reassurance of the humanity of the system would have done little to comfort Abbie's mind. Coming from Nora, in the dying hours of the night, she let it sink in and found herself sighing as she resigned herself from the moment of introspection. The brunette finally uncrossed her arms, starting to relax as they walked. She was getting further from home as they went, but it mattered little.

"What made you choose this?" Abbie knew it was a personal question but only as much as Nora chose to acknowledge. That Liz had mentioned what choices Nora had made to keep her career Abbie would never admit, Liz's confidence meant too much. Still, Abbie wanted to know just what had made the sacrifice worth it.

Nora put her hands in her pockets and considered the question for a long moment. It was something she had been asked quite often, and every answer was a different sort of politic. But as she realized she was directing their steps towards her home, Nora knew she owed Abbie a little more than that.

"Oh," she said as she looked up into the night, "idealism, enchantment." She smiled, almost privately, her dark eyes alight with something. "Some said I wasn't the practical choice." And they were still saying it even then. "I thought that...perhaps I needed something more."

Abbie didn't mirror Nora's glance at the sky, she never did that anymore. The stars above the city were always painfully dim in comparison to their shimmer in the fields outside of Dallas. Here, the glow resonated from the ground, from the chaos and glare of the built environment. She kept following, working through the older woman's response. It wasn't the clear answer she secretly hoped to get, and knew she herself rarely had the luxury of answering a question completely.

Before the brunette had finished considering, Nora was stopping by the foot a brick staircase under a leafless magnolia. Abbie looked at her inquisitively, not ready to turn back just yet, though the unrest over work was slowly fading.

Keys in hand, Nora turned to the brunette, her smile less melancholy, less private this time. "Perhaps you'd care for a drink, Abbie," she said simply. And if there was more, if Abbie needed something beyond that from her, she was open to that. But this needed to start simply.

Abbie blinked. Her eyes moved from the keys to Nora's face, and smiled in return.

"Yes, thank you, I think I would." There was a surprising amount of confidence in her voice as she followed the other woman up the steps. Abbie sighed as the door closed them in, away from the world finally. Her coat soon off and hung, Abbie stepped out of her heels almost immediately, quietly wishing she could feel the carpet better through her stockings. Nora's home was warm, and if comfort had a smell, it would be drifting through the air. Still, Abbie noticed as they passed through to the living room, it felt like things were missing, like much had been removed and little replaced.

The presumption didn't bother her; in fact, she was glad that Abbie immediately took the instinct to make herself at home. And there was something in that instinct that piqued her interest. She led the brunette, now shorter by a few inches but still taller than Nora in heels, through to her living room. Without verbalizing the invitation to sit, Nora nodded to the sofa. There were few concrete reminders in the house, but as she poured the drinks, the intangible ones still threatened to surface. She returned to Abbie, handing her a snifter.

"Brandy," she said as she sat beside Abbie. She hadn't asked what the brunette might prefer, and she hadn't intended to.

"Thank you," Abbie took the glass, savoring a sip and letting it warm her. She rested back against the cushions for a moment, trying to relax, but something in her was keeping a lingering expectation in the air. The brunette took another sip of the brandy, then set it on the coffee table. "I'm sorry for bringing you a bunch of unanswerable questions tonight, thank you for listening."

Nora nodded as she warmed her glass in her palms. "It's no trouble, Abbie; I'm glad you came to me." She smiled lightly and shook her head, more to herself than anything else. A thought crossed her mind, and she might have dismissed it quickly if not for Abbie's relative ease. "You're welcome to stay," she said with quiet assurance as she looked up at Abbie.

Abbie felt her stomach drop, and her skin flush pleasantly. She hadn't let herself think, really consider such an offer until she heard it. The brunette found herself nodding, "I...I'd like that." Something settled in her, and she quietly set down her glass, and slipped to the floor beside Nora's legs. It was a risk to assume it would be welcome, but she'd taken bigger ones before and something about the older woman had always spoken to her in that way. Maybe she was still overwhelmed by the week, or the rest of the past, but it didn't feel like a mistake.

Whether they agreed on instincts most of the time or not, Abbie's was more than right this time, and it almost surprised Nora. She paused before running her fingers gently through Abbie's hair, encouraging the brunette to rest her head on her lap. Nora smiled in the quiet moment, willing to indulge in it just a little while longer.

[ ](http://www.statcounter.com/)


	2. Jurisdiction

Abbie stepped down the hallway to SVU's offices. Donnelly's door was slightly open, and she didn't knock. The tall brunette knew Liz well enough, and she was more agitated than usual over a case—though it didn't show to the casual observer. "My problem has also become yours." She tossed the file lightly on Donnelly's desk, before the older woman had a chance to stand.

Taking in her quiet presence, Abbie was secretly glad to not be answering to the woman any more. Jack she had learned to handle, and Nora she was still figuring out, but Liz and she had never seen eye to eye when she'd been at SVU. "Just learned our guy is also a rapist." And she wished it wasn't the case, but a new victim had come to light when homicide made the arrest, and things had gotten infinitely more complicated. Abbie perched on one of the chairs facing the desk, "Heard you have some new help, but this one might be a bit of a rough start." Liz would know just how rough upon opening the file.

Liz raised her eyebrows at Abbie's intrusion, but it didn't stop her from picking up the file. "It's good to see you too. Have you forgotten how to knock?" She skimmed through the file, her frown deepening as she took in the details. Rough was a bit of an understatement. Cases like this were almost enough to make her reconsider her stance on the death penalty, though that would be Nora's call, not hers.

Abbie just gave Liz a look someplace between a grimace and a smile. There really wasn't much to say about a case like this, the total disregard for human life and dignity almost incomprehensible. She watched as the older woman read, seeing her features darken, "It gets worse." Abbie clasped her hands lightly in front of her.

Liz flipped to the second and third pages of the report and pulled away in revulsion. She tossed it onto her desk and pulled her glasses off. "Bastard." She shook her head and motioned for Abbie to have a seat if she wanted one. "It seems like a fairly straightforward case, despite how gruesome it is. Is there some reason that you think that you won't be able to handle it yourself?"

"That's where it gets worse." Abbie slid into a chair, crossing her long legs at the ankles, "The rape victim can't ID the guy…shock most likely. There's one other witness, and its definitely SVU's jurisdiction." Abbie took a breath, "It's the woman's 5 year old daughter." On days when Abbie found herself worn from her caseload, she had taken to reminding herself why victims who couldn't speak sometimes were much easier to represent.

"Shit." Liz rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Is she with them now?"

"I think your detectives were going to see if they could talk to her, but the mother is still in the hospital for observation." Abbie looked close to apologetic, "Sorry it had to be a Monday, but I haven't had much of a weekend."

Liz shook her head as she waved Abbie off. "It's not a problem. Let me give Alex a call." She picked up the phone and dialed Alex's extension. The call was short and short on details, but Alex assured her that she would be right there. "She should be here soon."

Abbie raised an eyebrow. She had only met the new ADA in passing, and the reviews from elsewhere had been mixed. She just nodded.

As she stepped through the threshold to Liz's office, Alex pushed her hair back. She'd been in the middle of a 3PM lunch, where lunch was a cold cup of coffee and the peppermint she found in the bottom of her purse. "You wanted to see me?" she asked before she saw that Liz wasn't alone. Alex took in Abbie's easy stance with a glance but turned her attention back to Liz.

Liz held the file out for her. "SVU has a new case. You've met Abbie Carmichael?" She waited for the beginning of Alex's nod before she continued, "good, you'll be working on it together."

"Excuse me?" Alex looked at Liz over her glasses even as she was flipping the file open.

Abbie gave Liz a look someplace between, 'are you serious?' and 'I'll just handle it myself.' But didn't speak her mind. Alex was supposedly a new, almost savant-esq young attorney, but Abbie wasn't easily impressed, and she had no intention of spending the next month teaching. The homicide unit was far from a summer internship at 'Uncle's old firm.'

"It's homicide's case, but the latest victim and your only witness are clearly within SVU's purview. Abbie asked for help. Help her." She didn't have time for Alex's ego or Abbie's doubts, as she looked back at Abbie with a look that clearly expressed her displeasure with Abbie questioning her, even if it wasn't spoken out loud.

Pursing her lips, Alex glanced at Abbie again before looking down and thumbing through the file. She kept her face impassive as she sorted through the details and tried not to react. "SVU is with the girl now?" That was as much of an acceptance of the situation as Liz was going to get.

Abbie did her best to remain on good behavior, as much as she didn't like repeating herself. She stood and nodded, "Last I heard that was the case." She didn't bother to formally introduce herself, assuming her reputation preceded her. "We're arraigning him tomorrow. I already have enough to get past the grand jury on the homicide, but I'd like all the charges brought at once for obvious reasons." She stepped toward the door, "Liz, always a pleasure, sorry for the context." The brunette's tone was short, and she turned to the younger blond, looking at the file, "Keep it. It's a copy." Alex would be in touch soon she was sure.

"Thanks," Alex shot back, tone indicating that she was more than annoyed with both her boss and her temporary partner. She gave Liz a look before following Abbie out, turning in the other direction. If this was some sort of initiation practice, she neither appreciated nor had time for it.


	3. Motive and Reason

Alex walked briskly down the hallway, heels clicking. That Carmichael hadn't answered her phone was an annoyance compounded by the fact that Alex had been assured she was there. She pushed her hair behind her ears only to have it fall again, and she knocked on the doorframe, seeing that the woman's door was open. "Good, you're here," she said as she walked in without waiting for an answer. "This," she began, tossing a folder onto Abbie's desk, "is the transcript of the interview with the witness, and this," she put down another, "is the psychologist's notes. She is traumatized, and she isn't talking." Alex pursed her lips as she crossed her arms.

Abbie raised an eyebrow but just picked the folders up quietly and flicked through them. "So, you won't be able to bring charges yet then?" She was still reading, and didn't offer Alex a seat. "What are you going to do about it?" The rape case wasn't really her problem, but it would be best to get the entire thing resolved.

"What do you mean, 'what am I going to do about it'?" Alex took it upon herself to have a seat and crossed her slender legs. "I can hardly grill a five year old, and the shrink says she's too traumatized for a line up whether I like it or not." She didn't like being questioned—especially when it was being done by someone who had no business.

"I never told you to grill a 5 year old." This was exactly why Abbie should have refused the green ADA working on this case. "You have detectives, you have resources, find some other evidence." She put down the file and looked at the clock on her desk; it was past quitting time. She looked up to see Jack nodding at her on his way out, already pulling on that same coat that hadn't likely been cleaned since the last administration. The brunette sighed and stood, opening a drawer and taking out a bottle and two glasses. If she was going to keep this up, she was at least going to have a drink.

"Don't think I didn't send them back out," Alex snapped defensively without changing her easy posture. She watched Abbie's movements almost hawkishly. This case was an annoyance from the start; the perp was going to be put away for murder, and she was hardly going to get any accolades in facilitating making the rape charge stick. She had bigger things to work on.

"Good." Abbie poured both glasses, handing one to the blonde without asking. She took a breath and leaned back against the edge of her desk facing Alex, considering. "Why are you here?" The words slipped out before Abbie could catch them. She was curious, Alex didn't seem like the type to need to work long hours as a public servant to pay the bills.

Alex accepted even as she raised her eyebrows. "Excuse me?" It was fairly obvious why she was there at that moment—because Abbie hadn't had the decency to pick up her damn phone. But Abbie's question had a different edge, and Alex bristled at being second guessed.

"Not here in this office. I mean here in this building at all. Something tells me you had plenty of offers that paid much better and wouldn't make you reliant on the testimony of a scared five year old for your win." To Abbie it was a fair question.

"Are you questioning my motives?" Alex tightened her grip on the glass. She wasn't affronted; her ambitions were clear enough in her mind. But she was defensive.

"Motives, no; reasons, yes." Abbie sipped her drink. For her, her job was a chance to move out of Texas, to not just take a job in Dallas and end up with a house four blocks from her parents, a way to move on. She looked Alex over again, trying not to linger.

As she soaked in Abbie's stare, Alex took a slow sip of her drink. She knew when she was being assessed, and she was never one to back down from it. "I come from a very politically minded family," she said evenly, holding Abbie's eyes.

Well that made sense, and Abbie nodded. "I see." She wasn't going to push much more; she'd leave it for later. "We can hold him on the murder, so you and your detectives have a few days." She was back to the task at hand. The brunette took another sip and smiled, her features softening slightly, "How is Olivia doing anyway?" Her glance was coy, but she didn't say more.

Alex cocked her head thoughtfully as she called an image of the detective to mind. "I guess she's fine," she replied, words clipped. She shrugged and took another sip of her drink. But Alex filed away the way Abbie's expression changed.

"Good." Abbie's drink was empty, but she didn't move to refill it. She didn't ask more about the detective, they'd had their fun while it had worked. "So, do you need anything else from me?" Abbie wasn't about to hand hold the blond, but they were both there to do a job.

"No." Alex finished her drink in one gulp and stood elegantly, placing the glass on Abbie's desk. She sauntered towards the door, pausing to look over her shoulder. "Keep the copies," she said, smirking as she turned to go.

Abbie watched the other woman go, folding her slender arms in front of her. She allowed herself a small smile before pushing off the desk, rolling her eyes in amusement.


	4. Narcotic

You know, you would get more work done if you closed your door sometimes."

Abbie smiled at the familiar voice, and when she looked up, she was as pleased as ever to find Taylor Hamilton there. She stood immediately and went to greet the tall blonde, "Taylor." The brunette pulled her into a quick embrace, and kissed her cheek. "It's been too long; what are you doing up here?" Granted, the narcotics division wasn't too far away, but they almost never seemed to catch up with each other anymore.

"I've got a case that's intersecting with an SVU investigation. Really gruesome sex trafficking stuff and if that isn't bad enough, SVU's new ADA is making it ten times more difficult." Taylor returned Abbie's embrace. "She's acting like everything I do is some sort of insult or something." She shook her head. "I'm beginning to wish that Donnelly never got that promotion. So, I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink or something."

Abbie smiled and nodded, "Cabot's....ambitious, but new." She knew that look about Taylor, and wouldn't dream of denying the woman her request. They'd been through a lot together, both at work and outside, and Abbie just reached to pack up her things. "A drink sounds great right about now."

"Awesome." Taylor ran her fingers through her hair. "So, you know Cabot? Because I really want to strangle her right now." She leaned against the doorframe while she waited for Abbie. "I was thinking of that bar around the corner from my place, but I'm good with anywhere that far away from here."

Maybe it was just her, but Abbie could always read Taylor's plans like a book and wasn't surprised in the slightest at the blonde's choice of venue. "That sounds good." Abbie turned off the lights and closed the door of her office behind them, lowering her voice slightly, "And I've just gotten to know Cabot myself…I don't envy you."

"Yeah." Taylor stepped into the elevator when it showed up and leaned against the back wall. "I keep hoping that she's going to realize that we're on the same side, but it just isn't sinking in." She shook her head as she watched the light above the door mark each floor they passed.

Alex tapped her foot as she waited for the elevator to come down. She was just running out to get coffee, hoping it would hope her focus, since her meeting with ADA Hamilton had completely destroyed that. When the doors opened, she didn't pay much attention to who was in the car as she stepped in. Then, only as they closed, did she realize who it was. Alex offered a tight smile as she noticed just how close the two women were standing.

Abbie nodded and smiled back, but didn't move away from Taylor. Had Alex gotten on a few floors later, she might have seen a bit more.

"Alex." Taylor nodded as well and hoped that would be the end of it.

She nodded, and when the doors opened again, Alex stepped out quickly without looking back. Naturally Abbie Carmichael would not only be a lesbian but also sleeping with the bane of Alex's existence for the moment. She had hoped the office was bigger than that.

Abbie watched the blonde hurry off down the street, shaking her head at Taylor while she hailed a cab. "Yep, bit of an ice princess that one." And Abbie was sure she'd figure her out sooner or later, but definitely not just then.

Taylor slid into the cab. "I hope she gets over whatever her issues are soon or you're going to be prosecuting me." She smiled sardonically as brushed her fingers over the back of Abbie's hand.

Abbie caught the blonde's hand, and raised it to her mouth, smiling as she kissed it, "I'll make you one hell of a deal, but in my professional opinion, it's still not a great idea."

"With that sort of advice, you should write a book." Taylor chuckled as she leaned her head back and looked at Abbie from the corner of her eye. "Don't worry. If I kill anyone I'll make sure that it looks justifiable." She smirked and really hoped that the cab driver wasn't paying too much attention to their conversation.

"Of course," Abbie smiled, and followed Taylor out of the cab as it stopped. She missed their easy banter, their friendship but knew the distance was necessary to keep things from taking unwanted turns. They were just too much alike, which made everything go amazingly until it....well, it didn't.

"Well, I'm officially done thinking about it. Buy me a drink and make me feel better.," Taylor said as they made their way to the bar. She opened the door and held it for Abbie before squeezing Abbie's shoulder—though the movement only reminded her of how sore her own were.

Abbie grinned and waived to a waiter as they sat at a corner table, "Lets start with the drink and take it from there." It was never their mutual attraction they questioned, just its effect on the rest of life.

"Mmm... You're full of good ideas tonight." Taylor ordered a beer and a shot of whiskey. She could already feel the fire in her stomach, though she knew it was just anticipation. She propped her feet up on an empty chair and wished that she had taken the time to change. Jeans would have been much more comfortable than her suit.

Abbie hesitated before ordering the same. 'Get back on the horse Carmichael,' she thought but decided preemptively not to let Taylor talk her into a second shot. When their drinks were returned, she held up the shot glass. "To..." she wasn't feeling overly adept with words at the moment.

"To good ideas," Taylor finished for her and tossed back the shot, shaking her head slightly as it burned down her throat. She sipped her beer and tried to forget about her day. Abbie was warm beside her, and that was far more interesting than anything else that might be going on.

Abbie felt her color rise as the whiskey immediately softened her mood. She shifted a little closer to the blonde out of instinct but didn't go further, habit holding her back. The brunette settled back into their earlier conversation, "I don't envy Cabot though; those cases aren't easy." She sipped her beer. "Even if Donnelly manages to survive them year after year." And it went without saying that they both had respect for the older woman, no matter how many times they had disagreed.

Taylor shook her head. "I don't know if there's enough that they could pay me to do that day in and day out. God, I just wish she would loosen up and realize that I'm not trying to fuck up her case. I want to put the bastards in prison just as much as she does and I don't give a shit if she wants to be the governor or a senator or whatever else it is she's so worried about." Taylor had to stop herself and take a deep breath.

Abbie smiled, amused by their similar experiences. She took a long sip and shifted the conversation only slightly, "Pretty, though."

"Yeah." Taylor nodded. "Can't deny that." But her nod turned into a shake. "Straight as a fucking pin, though."

The other woman was right, but Abbie snorted with laughter, "All women are straight Taylor," She put down her glass. "Until they're not."

"Well, you can have her." Taylor leaned to the side and rested her temple against Abbie's shoulder. "But not tonight. You're busy tonight."

Abbie felt her stomach drop pleasantly. There really hadn't been any question in her mind where the night was going when Taylor had stopped by, but the touch sealed it. She turned her head and kissed the blonde's soft hair, speaking a little more quietly. "Yes, of course Taylor." There was still a bit of playfulness in her inflection but not entirely.

"Mmm." Taylor liked that tone and tilted her head up. "Are you interested in the rest of that beer?" When Abbie's voice had changed, the alcohol had quickly become less appealing. Drinking her stress away would only leave her with a hangover. Abbie was a much more appealing option and the mornings were significantly nicer.

Abbie glanced at her glass and pushed it away, "No, I don't think so." Her voice remained low, words almost fading into one another. "It's been too long since we found time for an evening together." The comment was almost just pretext, the time between visits being necessary to the arrangement.

"You're right about that." Taylor sat up and stood, fishing in her purse for some cash to cover the drinks. "Let's get out of here." She held out a hand.

Abbie smiled and kissed Taylor's cheek before letting the other woman lead her out of the bar and down the half-block to her apartment. Inside, everything was as she remembered it, a testament to the blonde's similar undying dedication to her office. Abbie took off her coat and hung it up, but didn't leave the entry, leaning against the wall casually and waiting for Taylor.

Accordingly, Taylor hung her coat next to Abbie's and she pulled her shoes off a second later. "You just gonna stand there all night Carmichael?" She reached out and wrapped her hand in the front of Abbie's shirt using it to pull her close, and she smirked as she pressed their hips together.

Abbie raised an eyebrow and didn't hesitate to press against Taylor, "Apparently not." She took the chance to kiss the blonde deeply while she still had the opportunity. She was already starting to get wet, but the long anticipation only made the night better.

Taylor shivered under Abbie's kiss and pressed her hand against Abbie's stomach, pushing her shirt up. "You..," she kissed her again, "are much better than getting drunk."

The brunette moaned lightly, encouraging the touch, "I sure hope so."

Taylor pushed Abbie back against the closest wall and started unbuttoning her shirt, just pushing it aside rather than taking the time to take it off properly. "You don't mind if I fuck you against this wall, do you?" She nipped against Abbie's neck, her desperation coming as a surprise. She needed to feel Abbie under her hands, shaking and moaning, anything to push away the mental images of the desperately young women from her mind.

"Ohhh...god...please..." Abbie gasped. Her moratorium on begging generally was lifted by her nights with Taylor but not usually so immediately. The look in the blonde's eyes made Abbie's knees almost weak, and pushed her quickly to a painful state of arousal.

"Oh good." Taylor bit Abbie's ear as she started pulling her skirt up. She wanted to feel Abbie on top of her, in her arms, everywhere around her, but it was going to wait. Even as she was pulling Abbie's panties aside she was wondering if she could coax Abbie into a hot bath with her. "You're so wet." She pushed her fingers into Abbie and moaned at the heat.

"Yes..." Abbie's voice faded into a moan, and she pushed into the touch, wrapping one of her legs around Taylor's waist. She reached out and pulled the blonde into another kiss, not letting her go. Abbie moaned again, and leaned her head back, bracing against the wall.

"That's it." Taylor pushed her fingers further into Abbie and started rubbing her clit. "Do you have to be anywhere tonight? In the morning?" Taylor kept rubbing Abbie's clit, hoping that the answer was no.

Abbie closed her eyes and shook her head, still concentrating on the intensity of Taylor's touch. She was fairly sure she didn't have plans, but if she did she considered them canceled. "No...nothing....I'm yours until you don't want me anymore."

"Don't say that. I'll keep you here all weekend." Taylor nuzzled against Abbie's neck and felt her shudder. "That's it, baby." She curled her fingers forward, trying to make Abbie come, wanting to feel her come. She could feel her own arousal building, but she was content to ignore it for the moment. She liked putting it off, waiting until it was almost painful, and it would take a bit longer for her to get that worked up.

Abbie didn't have any words left, but just gasped and moaned under Taylor's touch. She held onto the blonde tightly to keep from falling when she finally let go, shaking almost violently. In that moment she didn't care in the slightest if Taylor kept her for the next week even, though she never would. "Ohhh..." She breathed out slowly when the last tremors finally worked through her.

"God, yeah." Taylor held Abbie close, wrapping an arm around her neck, pulling her in even further as she cradled the back of Abbie's head waiting for her to clam. "Better?"

Abbie's leg slowly slipped to the ground again as she recovered her footing. "God yes." She didn't bother to straighten her clothes, knowing she wouldn't need them much longer. Taylor's eyes were still lit with interest, though the desperation was fading.

"Good." Taylor nodded as she pulled away, keeping hold of Abbie's hand as she did. "I'm still way too tense. Come get in the bath with me?" Washing the week away sounded like heaven and having Abbie in her arms while she did it would be divine. "I want to hold you."

Abbie sighed audibly, relaxing the rest of the way, and more than happy to settle into the night. Being with Taylor was always a refreshing change. The brunette smiled and let the other woman lead her into the large bathroom, "sounds perfect." Without being asked, she turned on the water, then moved to undress Taylor, kissing her skin as it was revealed.

"Mmm..." Taylor poured some bath salts into the water and inhaled the steam. "Absolutely perfect." Her skin was lightly flushed and arousal was thrumming through her veins as she turned to help Abbie undress. Each bit of skin that she reveal was anointed with a kiss until Abbie was finally naked. Once that was done she stepped into the hot water and sank down into it, opening her arms for Abbie.

Smiling, Abbie stepped into the water, lying back against Taylor. She felt the other woman's arms around her, and slowly rubbed whatever skin she could reach, working the tension out of the blonde's muscles.

Taylor nuzzled against Abbie's neck as the stress of the day seeped away. She could feel the heat working on the knots in her shoulders and her hair was starting to curl. "Remind me of why I don't keep you around?" She knew very well why having a relationship didn't work for them, but at moments like this, that were so peaceful, she had a hard time remembering.

"I can't imagine," The game was easy to play, and they quite enjoyed these little encounters when they happened. Left together too long out of work though, they tended to devolve into what Abbie had dubbed the "vortex of competitive evil." And really, once there was such an apt name for it, they'd taken a step back. She smiled and shook her head slowly at the thought, dropping her fingers under the water to trace down Taylor's long legs.

"You know, I haven't asked how your day was." Taylor let her hands float closer to Abbie's breasts, just brushing against her nipples.

"Mmmm...no you haven't." Abbie contained herself enough not to press into the touch, but couldn't resist moving her hands back up over Taylor's thighs. "It was fine, the usual...life and death in the city and all." Her hands moved still higher, "but it got quite a bit better when you showed up."

Nipping on Abbie's ear, Taylor shifted under her hands, and pulled her further back into her arms. "I'm glad." She hooked one of her legs over Abbie's hip and resettled.

She leaned forward enough to take her hair down, letting the ends trail in the water. Abbie knew Taylor was wanting, but also knew that was precisely the plan. The brunette let out a breath and leaned back, wrapping her fingers behind the blonde's neck, resting on her shoulder. "So, are you going to tell me in person, or should I wait for the press release." Abbie knew Taylor had been offered the promotion once their earlier superior had announced his retirement, but hadn't heard more. They weren't close enough anymore for her to know what Taylor had planned for life.

"About?" From Taylor's perspective, Abbie could be talking about any number of things, though she had some suspicions, and some guidance to the right topic would be helpful. She rubbed her fingers over Abbie's stomach.

Abbie rolled her eyes lightly and shifted out of Taylor's arms, turning around to settle facing her. "I know Richard is leaving, and I'm pretty sure you're the only one they'd ask to keep that place from falling apart." The brunette stealthily moved closer, straddling Taylor's hips. "Or are you still set on Washington?" There was only so far one could go in the narcotics unit, but Abbie would miss the occasional night if Taylor took off to DC.

"Ah, that." Taylor settled her hands on Abbie's hips. "I'm still thinking about it," she hedged. She had been thinking about it for the past week and a half and she had to give them a decision on Monday. It was a great opportunity but something was making hesitate, and she was trying to figure out what that was.

If it was taking Taylor long to make a decision, there must be quite a few more factors than she knew. Abbie nodded and kissed her. It might also be why she had the good fortune of the tall blonde knocking at her door that afternoon. "I see." Abbie started to rub the blonde's shoulders. "Anything I can do to help clear your mind?"

"What you're doing now is a good start." Taylor closed her eyes. "Or you could tell me that I'm not going to get stuck in my office all of the time if I say yes. Or that the money's worth it if I do." She hadn't really meant to discuss it that night, but Abbie had brought it up and now she would have to suffer the consequences.

"Hmm...." Abbie leaned in and kissed Taylor's neck, playfully running her tongue along the blonde's throat as she considered an answer. "I can't say the money's ever going to match the hours," She reached the other side of Taylor's neck and worked toward her ear. "But it's narcotics, if you need out of the office, you can always go undercover or something." She was only half kidding, and traced her tongue around the outside of Taylor's ear, "I'm sure your detectives wouldn't protest."

"I suppose you're right." Taylor sighed and tilted her head to allow Abbie greater access. She didn't tell Abbie that there was more to her decision than just that. She had gotten another offer. More money, less work, even it wasn't quite as palatable.

Abbie could sense there was more to the answer, but Taylor would take things in her own time. The brunette's fingers dropped slowly to Taylor's breasts, teasing her. "Well, I do like to be right..."

"I know you do," Taylor chuckled. "And I think the water is getting cold." It wasn't unpleasant yet, but if they got invested in Abbie's actions, it would be by the time they were finished. "We should find the bed, I think."

"Mmmhmm..." Abbie pinched one of Taylor's nipples a bit harder before pulling away and stepping out of the bath. She reached for two towels, handing one to the blonde. She dried off and wrapped hers around her hair, not bothering to cover herself otherwise.

Taylor dried off and followed Abbie toward the bedroom. She came up behind her and wrapped her arms around the other woman, kissing her shoulder as she did. After the bath, the air was chilly and her skin was covered in goosebumps, but Abbie's heat was quickly taking care of that. "Are you going to distract me from my worries?" The bed in front of them was pristinely straight and she was looking forward to changing that.

Abbie shook the towel from her hair, letting it pile on the floor. She was planning on doing a bit more than just distracting Taylor, but had some restraint left. "You know I will." The brunette took a step back, but stayed within easy reach. "So are you going to wrinkle your perfect bed, or would you just like me to get on my knees." Abbie let a hint of a smile through...either would really be fine with her.

"You always leave me with such hard choices." Taylor leaned in for a kiss and pictured Abbie on her knees. it made her shiver, but she had a feeling that she would only end up falling over. "Bed. You can get on your knees for me tomorrow." She pulled back the covers, thoroughly destroying the work she had done that morning.

Abbie laughed as she watched Taylor pull the covers down. "I've always liked a girl who could make up her mind." She didn't wait for Taylor to settle, deciding instead to half push, half tackle the blonde down onto the bed, pinning her and immediately kissing her deeply. There would, apparently, be time later for control.

"Mmm," Taylor moaned into Abbie's mouth and shifted underneath her until she was more comfortable. "Impatient?" Taylor teased. She knew how long she had already made Abbie wait. Really, it was remarkable that she hadn't gotten jumped while they were still in the bath.

"Never." But Abbie's actions spoke otherwise, and she couldn't help pressing herself against Taylor's thigh while she kissed her again. The blonde's skin just felt too good under her.

Taylor playfully swatted Abbie's ass. "And now you're having problems focusing?" She tweaked Abbie's nipples, then pulled her back down. "Sloppy Carmichael. Sloppy."

Abbie yelped lightly, then put on a show of mastering her grin. "Oh I am most deeply sorry.." She let her voice drop, exaggerating the insincerity and the accent in the tone. The brunette kissed Taylor's neck, and brushed her fingers over her nipples, but didn't stop moving against the blonde's body.

"Yeah, I can really tell." Taylor pushed her thigh up against Abbie as she pushed her breasts up in encouragement. She grabbed Abbie's ass, kneading it under her fingers. Abbie took the leeway immediately and moved faster. She was already losing control, and moaned as she took one of Taylor's nipples into her mouth, rolling the other between her fingers.

Taylor shifted and made content noises. "Go on, baby," her voice dropped lower. "Go on and come. I know you want to." She squeezed Abbie's ass encouragingly. Anything that prolonger her own release was welcome, at least for now.

Abbie didn't need the encouragement, and wasn't about to stop herself either way. She moaned and pressed her lips against Taylor's shoulder as her toes curled in the sheets. A few moments later she collapsed against the blonde, quieting, and quite satisfied. "Mmmm..." Abbie's fingers twisted lightly in Taylor's curls, and she chuckled, amused at her own thoughts, "So...breakfast tomorrow?"

"You're not ready to go to sleep yet, are you?" Taylor teased and squirmed.

Feeling the blonde starting to show her first outward signs of want, Abbie smiled and pushed herself up on her elbows so she could kiss her, "And what if I was?" She teased, but didn't wait for a reply before her kisses moved lower over Taylor's body.

"I would be very disappointed and I might have to rethink ever inviting you over again." She smirked and spread her legs.

Abbie was still teasing, but her movements were more and more intent, "It's ok, we could go to my place." She glanced up at Taylor and smirked one more time before settling between her legs.

"Stop being a brat." Taylor tangled her fingers in Abbie's hair and nudged her down. She could feel Abbie's breath on her skin and it made her own breath catch.

Abbie groaned at the firm touch and let Taylor push her down. The blonde was the only one who Abbie had ever let speak to her like that, and wouldn't admit the extent of the thrill she got from it. She licked the other woman intently, sliding her arms under Taylor's hips.

"That's it." Taylor sighed in contentment once she felt Abbie's tongue. "That's perfect." The low level of her arousal quickly increased, as did her breathing. She pressed her heals down into the bed and pushed closer to Abbie.

There were few things in life that Abbie like to hear as much as Taylor finally letting go, 'we find the defendant guilty' notably being one of those things. She held the blonde's legs tighter and increased her pace, remembering again why she and Taylor had tried so hard, and so futilely to make things work.

Taylor started to shake with her impending climax, and she tightened her grip in Abbie's hair. "God. Fuck." She twisted and squirmed, trying to get closer even though it was impossible. It wasn't going to take much more. And Abbie almost came again hearing Taylor, and quickly pressed two fingers into her, not letting up.

That was more than enough. Taylor's climax rushed through her, leaving her limp it it's wake. "Mmm. Perfect."

Abbie definitely agreed, and licked Taylor for a few more moments than necessary, making her squirm. Languidly, she moved back up the blonde's flawless body, taking her time before settling in with her head on Taylor's shoulder. "Now you look like you're ready to fall asleep.." There was a hint of teasing in her voice, but it was betrayed as she sighed and reached her arms around the blonde.

"Mmhmm." Taylor snuggled closer to Abbie, wrapping her arms around her. "Unless you're ready for another round." Even as she said it her eyes were drooping.

"Mmmn....always..." But she didn't bother trying to do anything about it and just pulled the covers up, and turned out the light.


	5. Bed and Breakfast

Light sneaking between two panels of her curtains ended up waking up Taylor up. At least, that's what she liked to tell herself. Really, getting up early was so ingrained that it was hard for her stay in bed past 8:00. But then most mornings she didn't wake up with Abbie stretched out beside her. Just their skin touching was enough to set of her arousal once again and this time she wasn't going to put it off. "Abbie," Taylor whispered in her ear, running her fingertips down her back. "It's time to wake up."

Abbie groaned at being woken up, even if it was in a most pleasant manner. She could forgive it occasionally, but trying to deal with Taylor's schedule had been one of the things that drove her crazy. She closed her fingers in the sheets and pressed her face further under a pillow, "Mmmmpphh...not just yet...if God had wanted me to see the morning, he would have made it later in the day."

"I don't care about you seeing the morning. I care about your knees hitting the floor and your tongue on my clit." Taylor pushed Abbie away and toward the edge of her bed.

That was the kind of thing that did manage to wake Abbie up. She tried to twist around to get her bearings, but only managed to slip haphazardly off the edge of the bed, landing in a tangle of legs and sheets on the floor. "Oh!...hell...dammit Taylor..." It took her only a moment longer, however, before the comment settled in her and she hit her knees, skin flushing as she looked up at the blonde.

Taylor slid to the edge of the bed and pulled Abbie in. "Better." She loved the way Abbie's arousal was just visible in her eyes, behind the lingering fog of sleep. She spread her legs. "Don't make me wait."

Abbie moaned and held Taylor's stare for a moment before instinct took over, and she leaned down to do what she was told, clasping her hands together behind her.

"Yeah. Just like that." Taylor kept her hands in Abbie's hair as she licked her. She didn't bother concealing her pleasure or her delight in Abbie submitting so readily. "God, I could keep you there all day. You look so hot on your knees."

Abbie shivered pleasantly. It was probably comments like that that kept ending in her on her knees in the first place. She pressed closer, not wanting Taylor to think she was holding back in the slightest.

"God." Taylor fell backwards as she came, incredibly pleased with Abbie's behavior. It was a hell of a way to wake up.

Before Taylor could catch her, Abbie covered her light grin. Just because she was on the floor didn't mean she couldn't get smug, it just meant she had to hide it. The brunette leaned in and rested her cheek on Taylor's leg while she recovered.

"Mmm. Planning on staying down there?" Taylor closed her eyes again and waited for Abbie to join her.

Abbie took the invitation, and scrambled back up next to Taylor. She was already wet from the earlier moment, but stretched out on the bed, pretending to go back to sleep. "Mmm....good idea....wake me with breakfast in an hour? Bacon?" If she was fixin' for a punishment, that would be fine with her, she enjoyed Taylor slightly determined, but bacon would be just as good.

Taylor chuckled. "You're incorrigible." Taylor pinched Abbie's side. "If you want bacon, you can make it yourself." She loved it when Abbie got like this, until, of course, it started to annoy her.

Abbie squirmed, definitely not about to get up and cook...of all things she could be doing. She rolled over, half-facing Taylor and slipped her fingers between her own legs, moaning lightly even as she smirked. Taylor had started it, after all.

Taylor laughed and kissed Abbie, looking at her mischievously. "You can touch yourself all you want, but if you come before _I _ make you, you're going to have to leave." She reached out and rolled one of Abbie's nipples between her fingers.

Abbie groaned and slowed her pace, but didn't stop altogether. She pressed her chest forward willingly, loving Taylor's tone. "Mmmmnn....yes....Taylor." She certainly wasn't ready to be shown the door just yet.

"Oh good." Taylor pulled her hand away and rolled out of bed. "Since you're being so good, I guess I can make us breakfast." She pulled on a robe, but she didn't offer Abbie anything similar. She liked the idea of having her naked and available for at least the rest of the morning. Abbie watched her go and smiled to herself, stomach twisting pleasantly as she slipped off the bed and crawled after Taylor into the kitchen.

Taylor looked back, expecting to see Abbie following her, but not expecting her to be on her hands and knees. "You do feel like playing this morning, don't you?" Taylor dropped a hand down to run her fingers through Abbie's hair, petting her like a prized animal. "Stay." She pointed to a spot at the edge of the kitchen. She only indulged for a minute before collecting things to make breakfast, including a slab of bacon. It only took a moment to get it sizzling.

As she settled onto her knees on the floor, Abbie moaned, almost a purr. She only just resisted nipping at Taylor's fingers as she stepped away. The brunette sniffed as the kitchen filled with a pleasant aroma, and noticed her stomach starting to growl. She realized she hadn't exactly managed dinner the night before, and decided beyond the obvious enjoyment, it was more than worth it to be compliant.

"Hungry?" Taylor looked down at her as she put both of their breakfast on one plate. She ran her fingers through Abbie's hair against as she walked past her and into the living room. "Come on." She curled up on the couch and beckoned Abbie to join her. She was going to thoroughly enjoy this.

Abbie nodded, and followed close after, slipping up next to the blonde on the couch, and curling up so she could rest her head on her lap. Taylor's robe was only lightly wrapped around her, and Abbie couldn't help reaching out and brushing her fingers over the blonde's legs. The food looked good, and Abbie was starting to remember that she used to eat better when she spent more time with Taylor...even though she did sometimes do it while kneeling on the floor.

Breakfast wasn't any more complicated than scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast, but there was a lot of it. Abbie could fit more food in her stomach than Taylor thought possible, but she would make sure that Abbie didn't go hungry. "It's going to be hard for you to eat like that. You can sit up."

Abbie nipped at Taylor's leg, and pushed herself up. She kissed the blonde's cheek, and tried not to look too hungrily at the food.

"Calm down," Taylor chuckled as she put some of the eggs on the toast and held it out for Abbie. "I'm not going to let you starve."

The brunette smiled but didn't hesitate to lean in and take a bite. It was almost too easy to play these games again, and the cases, the constant reminders of injustices faded. The brunette sighed a little and relaxed as Taylor fed her, stopping now and then to lick the other woman's fingers when they were offered. Her arousal was slowly building, but she mostly ignored it for the time being.

Once Abbie finished the eggs, and Taylor had her share, Taylor held up a piece of bacon, just out of Abbie's reach. "I think you're going to have to do something to prove to me how much you want this." And there was no doubt in her mind that Abbie wanted the bacon.

Abbie smirked. She knew Taylor wouldn't let her get out of this without a few catches. She nipped at the Blonde's wrist and whimpered playfully, sliding to the ground. She tried her best to look innocent, "What would you like?" She smirked again and batter her eyelashes.

Taylor held the bacon closer, making sure that Abbie could smell it. "I want you to get creative." She pushed her fingers into Abbie's hair and pulled it lightly. "I know you can come up with something."

Abbie whimpered again and while tempted to just reach up and take the bacon, contained herself and lowered to the floor. She smiled up at Taylor again and then kissed the tops of the blonde's feet. "Mmmnnn....please may I Taylor...." She pressed her knees together against her growing wetness.

"Oh, I suppose so." Taylor lowered the piece of bacon, letting Abbie slowly munch on it. "Good girl." She ruffled Abbie's hair while she finished chewing.

"Mmm...thank you." Abbie finished the piece and licked Taylor's fingers clean before sitting back up, and moving closer. She kissed the inside of Taylor's knee, shifting happily.

"You're welcome." Taylor pulled her back up onto the couch and kissed her. "Now, take these dishes into the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher." She handed the plate to Abbie. Implicit in the order was that she was expected to clean up any dishes left in the kitchen.

Before she did as Taylor told her, Abbie hesitated for a moment. It was part of the game, and she rarely if ever had dishes to wash at home. A few moments later, she was finished, and dried her hands before coming back into the living room and kneeling back in front of Taylor.

"Mmm. Good." Taylor patted the couch next to her, even as she stretched out on it.

Abbie slipped up next to Taylor and took the initiative to start pushing her back, crawling over her, kissing as she went. "Hey....you better not be tired yet." She grinned, mimicking Taylor's voice as best she could.

Taylor chuckled. "Not even close." She wrapped her arms around Abbie and ran her hands down her back. "You are more delicious than, well... anything I can think of right now." She kissed Abbie's neck and ran her nails down Abbie's back.

Abbie arched into Taylor's nails, "ohh....and that bacon was really good....I'm flattered." She reached and pushed Taylor's robe off as best she could.

Taylor shook her head, trying not to laugh. "I'm glad you appreciated it." She grabbed Abbie's ass and squeezed it, then pushed her fingers between Abbie's legs, feeling how wet she was and moaning. "God, I'm never letting you leave. Never."'

"Ohhh....god...." Abbie paused, straddling the blonde's hips, holding herself on all fours over Taylor, the groaned and pressed into the touch. "Yes...ok..." Abbie let herself get lost in the moment, they both knew the rules.

"Good," Taylor was practically purring. "That's a good girl." She slid her fingers into Abbie and started rubbing her clit. "You just stay right there." She leaned up and kissed Abbie, loving the way she looked kneeling over her.

Abbie returned the kiss and then couldn't help tossing her head back, starting to move with Taylor's touch. She was whimpering, breath getting harder, "Yes...Taylor...please..." Her voice was getting lower, quieter.

"That's it." Taylor kissed Abbie again. "Show me how much you want it and you can come." She grinned and pushed further into Abbie. "Show me, baby, show me." She was getting wet again herself and she wanted Abbie to take care of that.

Abbie moaned. She didn't know what to do to prove it, it was abundantly clear how much she wanted it. Taylor had told her not to move, and she wasn't thinking clearly at all. "Please...." She leaned down and kissed the blonde deeply, "I just...please..."

"That's it," Taylor nodded. "That's it baby. Come on." She gave Abbie permission, wanting to see her come.

"Thank you..." Abbie rocked into Taylor's touch a few more times and nearly yelled in relief when she came, her arms barely able to hold her up. When she finally relaxed, Abbie swayed, dropping her head onto the other woman's chest. "Mmmm....Taylor....God...." Abbie breathed a few times while she recovered.

Taylor pulled Abbie against her, nuzzling against her cheek. "Yeah... yeah." She held Abbie in her arms and ran her fingers through her hair. "That's it baby."

Abbie made a contented noise and kissed Taylor, wrapping her arms around the blonde. She didn't quite have words yet, so she just lay across her. She could already feel the other woman's wetness on her leg, but was still recovering. And Taylor kept running her hands down Abbie's back, even as she re-angled her legs where Abbie's fell more naturally between them. She murmured soft words into her ear as she held Abbie there, letting her come back to herself. Pushing Abbie to the floor before she was awake had been her one big demand for the morning and now that breakfast was over, she was content to just be.

And the brunette was more than content there, though as the day moved on she was starting to think past this encounter. She might not see Taylor for weeks, maybe months, but it wasn't a sad thought, just an accepted one.

"Better?" Taylor kept holding Abbie, ignoring her own desires, though it was hard with the expanse of skin under her fingertips. Just the warmth of Abbie's body was enough to make her squirm, but she didn't. "Are you staying for the day, or did you need to head home?"

Abbie noted the squirming and lazily pressed a hand between Taylor's legs, touching her without intent for the moment, "I have a few things to get to, but I won't run off just yet."

"Oh good." Taylor shifted under Abbie's touch, encouraging her to continue. She was as conflicted as always about the brunette leaving and she ruthlessly pushed those thoughts away, focusing on the way Abbie was making her feel. She knew that if she asked outright, Abbie would stay, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She could keep Abbie there for a while, but eventually the problems would resurface along with all of her own insecurities. And those were issues that she still wasn't ready to tackle.

Abbie smiled and started to touch the blonde more consciously, moving to kiss her neck. She ignored the real complications of life for awhile longer, and just enjoyed how good Taylor felt under her fingers. Abbie moaned lightly, "I want to hear you." She loved requesting that, especially from the usually composed woman.

"Ohh," Taylor moaned, happily granting Abbie's request. She didn't try to hide her delight, reveling in Abbie's touch and just how good it made her feel. She squirmed unabashedly, letting Abbie hear her, letting her see just how much she wanted her. It was good to just let go sometimes, to stop trying to control her every reaction, and she trusted Abbie enough to give her that.

Abbie kept kissing Taylor's neck, and moved to touch her clit in firm but gentle circles, drawing it out, "Perfect..." She was smiling, watching.

It only took Taylor another moment to come, and she did it loudly, her head snapping back against the couch. "God, Abbie."

Abbie grinned and kissed her, but didn't take her hand away, pushing her fingers inside, and pressing her palm over the blonde's clit, rocking slowly. "Mmmmhmmm...good." She bit Taylor's shoulder, "Now do it again, I know you can."

"Oh, fuck." Taylor arched up and grabbed at Abbie, completely beyond thinking. Holding anything back was impossible and Taylor didn't even try. "Abbie, please..." she dug her fingers into Abbie's shoulders.

She didn't make her wait, knowing she wasn't capable much longer. She pushed further into the blonde, rubbing her clit more firmly. "Yes Taylor," she smiled, and ducked down to take one of the blonde's nipples in her mouth.

"Shit, motherfucker." Taylor arched upward, her nails scratching against Abbie's skin. Her orgasm was harder and longer the second time, all of her muscles contracting violently. "Christ." Taylor's breathing was still shallow and she held Abbie as tightly as she could, keeping them wrapped together.

The force of Taylor's embrace forced Abbie's hands away and under her to keep from falling. She willingly let the blonde move them together, and she reveled in hearing the other woman so lost, but so content.

It took Taylor a long time to come back to herself, but eventually she managed a deep breath as her muscled slackened. "God, Abbie. That was..." She shifted and pressed into Abbie's skin, just wanting to feel her. "That was fucking amazing."

Abbie rested happily a while longer, letting them both enjoy the moment before speaking, "It was." And Taylor would know she meant the whole span of time since she had stepped into the brunette's office the night before. Abbie stretched and kissed the blonde's cheek before lightly disentangling them and getting to her feet. "It always is." She took one more moment to look over Taylor and give her a smile, "Stay in touch darlin' " She winked, and went to get dressed, letting herself out a few moments later. In the hall she sighed, amazed she had been able to walk out yet again, and tried to plan the rest of the day.


	6. Q and A

Frustrating, Alex realized, was the word she was going to be using most to describe her new job—not that she wasn't up to the task. But frustrating was worth it when it came to making her ambitions a reality. She nodded her goodbye to Cragen as she left his office, headed back to her own for another long night. It was the middle of the dinner hour, and Alex noticed that the room didn't seem as busy as when she had first entered. And that's when she saw one of her detectives filling a mug of coffee. She cocked her head, watching Olivia Benson for a moment; that's when Abbie's question came back to her, and that's when she found herself approaching the detective. Alex didn't want to jump in mixing business with personal, but she was curious about Abbie. "Detective Benson, hi." She gave a brief smile.

Olivia turned and couldn't help a smile at seeing the new ADA approach. She'd be lying if she said she didn't take the chance to watch her whenever she could. "Alex." The brunette nearly grinned and sat on the edge of her desk, only casually making sure her badge and gun were clearly visible. "What can I do for you?"

Purposefully, Alex kept her smile from getting tight. She supposed they would have to be on a first name basis at some point. Three years, maybe five if things went well and she could move on to something else. She didn't even look at the detective's gun. "How's your evening?" Alex didn't want to come off too directly about Abbie. She didn't want people to get ideas, especially not then.

Benson took the smile as welcoming, "It's alright so far." She sat a little straighter, "Hauled a guy in an hour ago off a good tip, just letting him cool in the interrogation room for a bit while Elliot gets dinner." The brunette smiled, almost patronizing, though she didn't recognize it. "Don't worry though, he hasn't lawyered up yet."

"Right. Good." Alex wished she hadn't asked. She had no idea why Benson was smiling at her that way, but there was something about it that made her vaguely uncomfortable. Alex felt like she needed to get around to her purpose or somehow extract herself and just forget about it. "I was wondering if I could ask you something..."

Olivia took Alex's shifting for interest, and sipped her coffee calmly, then ran her hand through her hair, trying to look nonchalant about it. "Anything." She smiled again.

For a moment, Alex thought she was dreaming. She hadn't really expected to encounter this, though she wasn't exactly surprised. But she wanted to make it clear that she wasn't interested in women. At least, she wanted to make it appear that way. Olivia was attractive enough, but Alex simply stopped that though before it could go anywhere. "You and Abbie Carmichael...did you get to know each other well?"

Surprised by the question, Olivia paused. She tried to think for a moment how to describe what she and Abbie had had...no....done rather. "You could say that." She couldn't help but smirk a little. "But I don't see much of her anymore since she went back to homicide full time."

Alex raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. "You were...?" She shook her head, also trying to shake off her surprise. Abbie Carmichael seemed the type to have a too handsome, too talented boyfriend with teeth that were too white stashed somewhere. She hadn't really been trying to figure that much out--at least that's what she told herself.

Olivia raised an eyebrow but took the comment for interest in her own availability, rather than in Carmichael's preferences. "Well, I'm not sure we ever 'were' anything, but sometimes unexpected things happen i suppose." She set the coffee down and leaned back, sticking her chest out slightly as she smirked, remembering her first night with the tall brunette.

"No, of course." Alex pushed her hair behind her ear and pursed her lips as she felt herself flush slightly. "I didn't mean to pry." She glanced around to see if anyone was looking at them, trying to decide if Olivia's display would be noticeable to anyone but her. "She and I had that case, and I was just..." She shook her head again. "Well, nevermind."

Olivia sat back up, finally getting the feeling it might not actually be about her, surprise crossing her features, "Wait, no go ahead." She didn't mind Alex talking to her about anything really, and couldn't help herself glancing down at the blonde's legs.

Alex shifted her purse on her shoulder. "I was just wondering if any of you had a hard time working with her." Alex certainly felt like it had been like pulling teeth. She pursed her lips, trying to cover up for the fact that she had been caught off guard.

Olivia brought herself back, "Oh...well..." her thoughts went to their second night, "well....no, not as such." She shifted on the desk, letting out a breath, "she's a good attorney, dedicated..."

"Of course." Alex gave a tight smile. She didn't want to know what Olivia was thinking; in fact, she really wanted to just get out of the room. As she thought of a likely excuse, Alex ran her fingers through her hair, pushing it back again. She managed to hold in her sigh of relief when she saw Stabler come through the doors with bags of food. "Well, it looks like your dinner is here."

The brunette looked over Alex's shoulder, "Yep, seems that way." She would have to give Elliot a hard time for his inopportune entrance, having been on the cusp of asking Alex for a drink later. Olivia hopped off the desk and smiled one more time at the tall blonde, "If I can help you with anything counselor, just let me know." It was only professional courtesy, after all.

"Thank you, detective." Alex nodded curtly to Olivia and then to Elliot on her way out. She knew more about Abbie Carmichael now than she'd intended, but Alex filed it away, not really thinking it would serve her any purpose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it as good as Olivia made it out to be?
> 
> [Trial and Error](http://archiveofourown.org/works/89650/chapters/121594) -Abbie/Olivia


	7. Apologies More Sincere

Alex rapped on the doorframe lightly and stuck her head in Donnelly's office. It was late, and she was tired...but there was so much work to do. "I...just put on a fresh pot of coffee," she said. "If you're interested."

Liz looked up and pulled her glasses down. "Yeah. Coffee sounds good. Have you made any progress on the Herman case?" Liz wasn't hoping for much, but right now, anything would be nice.

She had been hoping against hope that Liz wouldn't ask. After a pause, Alex ran her hand through her hair and looked up out of frustration. "It's... She shook her head. "I just needed to put it aside for the night."

Liz pursed her lips. "You put it aside?" She pulled her glasses all of the way off. "What the hell have you been working on?" Liz looked at her incredulously. In her mind, there wasn't anything more important than that case and she couldn't believe that Alex has just brushed it off the way she had.

"The Davidson case." Alex didn't like the look on Donnelly's face, but she was just learning how to read the woman. She didn't want to push too far, but dammit, she was tired--tired enough to make a mistake. "I just...needed some time."

"I'm sorry, but you don't have any time." Liz stood and rounded her desk. "I need you working on that case now. This isn't law school, Alex. You don't get to choose which cases to focus on and which cases to blow off." She tossed her glasses onto her desk. "Davidson isn't going to trial for another month." Liz shook her head and wondered against just why she had let them put Alex in her department.

Alex put her hands on her hips and pursed her lips as she tried very hard not to roll her eyes. "I put it aside an hour ago...it's not going to suffer for that." And it would suffer more from tired eyes and an overwrought mind. She knew how to do her job, and she was planning on calling in a favor in the morning.

Liz pursed her lips and let it go, even though she wasn't happy. "Fine. Let me know when the coffee's done." She ran a hand through her hair and walked back around her desk.

"Right..." Alex said slowly, drawing out the word. She turned on her heel and went to check the coffee, returning a few minutes later with a full mug for Liz. "There's sugar but no cream. Sorry."

"Thank you." Liz nodded and otherwise ignored Alex. She was still far too irritated to deal with her right then.

"Well...I won't bother you any longer," Alex replied. She shook her head, more to herself than out of any other emotion, and turned on her heel. Donnelly wasn't going to be happy with her...no matter what she did. So she knew she might as well go back to the case at hand.

With Alex gone, Liz worked for another hour before she had to give up. She closed her files, put things away, collected her briefcase and turned off the light. She wasn't going to accomplish anything else that night. As she was leaving, she saw Alex's light still on and before she could think about it, her feet were headed in that direction.

When she heard the footsteps stop, Alex looked up. She took off her glasses and stared at Donnelly, trying to force her eyes to focus. "Can I help you?" Alex asked as she taped the end of her pen against her desk.

"How's it going? Are you making any progress?" Liz crossed her arms and leaned against Alex's door.

"No," Alex said, close to snapping at her boss. She closed a folder quickly and leaned back in her chair. "I'm not making any progress. I told you that an hour ago." Her coffee was cold; she had forgotten about it.

Liz raised her eyebrows at Alex's little outburst. "Did that make you feel any better?" She stood up straight and pulled her shirt down. Alex's tone was bordering on insubordination and Liz wasn't amused.

"Excuse me?" Alex put her palms flat on her desk and stood. She wasn't in the mood. It was late, and Donnelly was full of herself.

Liz stepped into Alex's office and closed the door behind herself. "I asked if that made you feel any better. If you're going to snap at me, I hope that it had some sort of benefit other than getting your ass fired." She didn't care whose niece Alex was. If she was incompetent, Liz wasn't going to keep her around, and though her work had been fine thus far, her attitude needed quite a bit of work.

"Look...it's been a long night. Maybe we should both just call it quits." It wasn't Alex's instinct to back down, but she didn't have it in her that night. At least...Donnelly hadn't made her angry enough just yet. She crossed her arms as if to prove her point, to prove that she was being the bigger person.

Liz started at Alex, as if she didn't even hear her. "Get up." She was moving almost automatically, not really thinking about her actions or their possible repercussions. Alex needed to learn a lesson and Liz was going to teach it to her.

"I'm sorry?" Alex blinked, completely uncomprehending the change in Liz's voice.

"I said, get up." It took her two steps to cross Alex's office and grab her from across her desk. When she wasn't moving fast enough, Liz grabbed her and hauled her upright. She was almost delirious with fatigue. It was almost as if someone else was controlling her, making her arms move, making her lean in and kiss Alex with a fierceness that she barely remembered possessing.

Alex thought she would resist Donnelly's touch, but she'd never felt such determination. She met the kiss, surprised, pushed into it by the unexpected, but she had no other excuse for letting it linger so long before pulling away. Her glasses were askew, and her eyes wide, but Alex found she had absolutely no words for what had just happened. And that's when she blurted, "I'm sorry..." in a completely different tone.

Liz sucked in a deep breath, her hands still wrapped in Alex's shirt, keeping her close even though the desk was still between them. It took her a moment to process the change in Alex's voice, but when she did, it sent a bolt of arousal to her core. "Are you really?" Liz wasn't entirely convinced, and she smirked.

"I..." Alex blinked as Liz's eyes flashed with something she recognized but hadn't seen from the older woman. She swallowed and resisted the urge move a little closer. Instead, she tried to put a fraction of distance between them. "That's what I said."

Liz nodded, though more to herself than in response to Alex. This was all unexpected and she needed a moment to think, yet, her mouth was moving before she could. "I was on my way out. Come home with me." It wasn't a request.

Alex licked her lips, considering the statement. She took the time to straighten her glasses before straightening a pad askew on her desk. "I thought my attention was supposed to be on this case."

"Then get back to work." Liz wasn't going to ask again, and she wasn't going to beg. She turned around and opened Alex's office door, fully prepared to leave her there, though she hoped that Alex might change her mind.

"Wait." Alex cringed outwardly as soon as she heard herself say it. She had no idea what the hell she was doing, but her stomach had dropped in disappointment to hear that reaction from Liz. Whatever was going on in the older woman's head was... Alex didn't know what it was, but she knew she was more aroused than she had been in a long time.

Liz stopped and slowly turned around. "Yes? Are you coming after all?" Liz put one hand on her hip while she waited for Alex to figure out what she was going to do. "Make up your mind, Alex."

There was something about the sheer control in the command that made Alex's knees buckle. She took a shuddering breath before slowly beginning to pack her things, turning the lamp above her desk off before shouldering her bag and approaching Liz. "All right."

"Good choice." Liz would have been incredibly disappointed if Alex had chosen to stay and keep working. She headed toward the elevator, keeping her distance from Alex, not giving in to the temptation to touch her again. Now that she was committed to this course of action, she didn't second guess herself.

Alex wasn't so sure, but she was following anyway, leaning against the elevator door and staring down at her Prada shoes for the duration of the ride. That Liz was attractive wasn't even a question, but Alex hadn't considered her an object for her attraction. And she wasn't so sure that this night would result in any favors from Donnelly. Even after what had happened in her office, she hoped for discretion, and when the elevator doors opened, she found herself checking to see if anyone was around.

Liz led her out to a cab, still not bothering to say anything to the other woman. She wasn't sure exactly how the night would go once they made it back to her house, but she already had high expectations. They were a block away when Liz finally decided to speak. "This doesn't get mentioned at work, and don't expect any sort of preferential treatment."

"Of course," Alex replied automatically. She folded her hands in her lap on top of her briefcase. Something about Liz made her feel like she was nineteen again.

"Good." Liz nodded and opened the car door. She paid the cab driver as she waited for Alex to join her. A few minutes later and they were inside her brownstone. "You can leave your briefcase by the door."

Alex did, putting it on the floor and leaning it against the wall. She looked around as she followed Liz in. "Nice place," she said more conversationally than she felt. From what she could see, Liz had a considerable amount of taste. Her home was refined and understated, and Alex began to wonder about her background.

"Thank you." Liz put her own briefcase inside her office and motioned Alex further inside. "Would you like something to drink?" The question was habitual, and she didn't give Alex time to answer it before she came up behind her and put her hands on her shoulders. She pulled Alex back against her and whispered in her ear, "Say no."

"No." The word came out before Alex could even consider saying yes. A drink was precisely what she thought she needed at that moment, but Liz's breath made her shudder, almost to the point where she opened her mouth to moan.

"Good..." Liz kissed under Alex's ear and started unbuttoning Alex's jacket, then her shirt. They were standing in the middle of her living room, but she didn't care. She wanted to feel Alex's skin under her fingertips.

When Liz's fingertips brushed her bare skin, Alex tried to turn, to begin undressing the blonde. Something told her that wasn't what Liz wanted, that it wasn't what she was expected to do. But another instinct told her to push as much as she could, that pushing would only heighten the experience of...whatever this was.

Liz tightened her hold on Alex, trying to stop her from turning, trying to force Alex to obey her will. "You said you were sorry. What are you sorry for?" She slid a hand up Alex's stomach to cup one of her breasts, scratching over her nipple with her nail. "Talk to me."

"What...?" Alex moved under Liz's touch, pressing her breasts forward. She felt her cheeks flushing at the mere suggestion. Alex had no idea what to say, no idea what Liz wanted to hear. "I'm not sorry for anything," she blurted.

"So you lied to me?" Liz pinched the nipple under her thumb, holding it while she unfastened Alex's pants and pushed her hand underneath them. She pushed past Alex's lips and through her curls to feel just how wet she already was.

Alex yelped and tried to squirm away from the touch. She didn't know what Liz would do when she realized how aroused she had become, and she wasn't sure she was ready to admit that she did want to know. "I...told you what you wanted to hear," she managed.

"No you didn't." Liz pressed a finger against Alex's clit, though she let go of her nipple. "Stop lying to me, Alex." She pushed Alex's jacket and shirt off of her shoulders. The jacket hit the floor, but her shirt was still tucked in and it hung from her pants. "You told me what _you_ wanted me to hear, even if it wasn't that you're sorry." She wrapped her free arm back around Alex's waist and drew her other hand out of Alex's pants, pressing her fingers to Alex's lips. "What were you trying to tell me? I want you to say it." The wetness on her fingers gave away just what Alex wanted, but Liz was going to make her say it.

"I don't know," Alex moaned, lips brushing Liz's fingers. She longed to take them into her mouth, to run her tongue over them and make Liz touch her again. But she felt overwhelmed by those feelings. "I don't know," she whispered again, pressing her hips forward.

"Are you telling me that you've never done this before?" Liz pushed her fingers into Alex's mouth. "Lick them clean, then answer my question, before I put you on your knees." And she wanted to see Alex on her knees.

Moaning softly, Alex took Liz's fingers into her mouth, tasting herself and blushing as she licked each clean of her own wetness. She considered what to say, how to phrase herself, but it was difficult to fixate on exact words. She'd had a girlfriend in college who liked to be tied up, and Alex had liked that game for a while. "Not like this," she finally answered.

"But you want this?" Liz was going to be sure before she made Alex do anything. "Don't you? Don't you want to kneel at my feet? Don't you want to feel my hand on you ass because you've be bad? Or do you just want me to fuck you and let you go home?" Liz didn't let Alex go, didn't let her turn around. "Tell me, Alex. Tell me what you want and I'll do it."

"Please..." Alex's lips were dry. Her throat was suddenly dry. Everything Liz had said only made her hotter, wetter, so much so that she thought her knees might be the safest place to be because she didn't think her legs would hold her for much longer. But she straightened up, squaring her shoulders as she tried to muster some dignity. "Please don't send me home, Liz."

"If you don't want to go home, then I won't make you." Liz finally turned Alex around and kissed her, holding her close and kissing her deeply. Her breath caught at the way Alex pushed into her, almost desperate but trying to control herself still. "But you're going to have to do as your told."

Alex wrapped her hands in Liz's shirt, steadying herself, finding her breath even as Liz spoke. "Okay," she managed, wondering where her outrage had gone, how it had so quickly become this.

"Good." Liz wrapped her arms around Alex, pulling her closer, letting her have a moment to steady herself. She wanted Alex off balance, but not so much that she was actually frightened. She untucked Alex's shirt, then pushed her pants down, leaving her in only her bra and panties. She kicked the discarded clothing away.

Swallowing, Alex followed Liz with her eyes. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to kneel, if she was supposed to take the rest of her clothing off. Never once, when tying up her girlfriend, had she ever thought to do anything like this, anything so simple and unnerving.

Liz took Alex's chin in her fingers and kissed her ever so lightly. "On your knees." She wasn't sure just what she was going to do with Alex first, but that was as good a place to start as any.


	8. Redirect

The bar was louder than she normally liked, but that night, it suited Taylor's mood. She had waffled over the decision to take the promotion for weeks, and now that it was done, now that all of the paperwork was finalized, she was at peace with it. Though everything had been finished a few days before, the official announcement had come out earlier that day, and even though it was little more than memo, reading it had thrilled her and she had actually left the office on time in celebration. Of course, that meant that she didn't have anyone else to drink with, but she knew that would change eventually.

Liz told her to get out of the office, otherwise Alex would have still been there. She wanted to be there, but Donnelly stood there while she straightened her desk, shaking her head when Alex tried to take the files home. And she'd stayed there until Alex got on the elevator. It was ridiculous really. But there she was--at a lawyer bar when she wanted to be in her office figuring out how to get herself out of the mess that was her biggest case.

Taylor sighed slightly when she recognized the woman walking in the door. She and Alex weren't getting along any better than they had when the case started and a small, petty part of her hoped that Alex wouldn't see her and they therefore wouldn't have to interact. But the bar wasn't that big and it would probably just make things even more awkward. "Alex." Taylor almost had to shout over the din to get the other woman's attention, and waved her over.

To her credit, Alex resisted the urge to groan. She had seen the announcement and then promptly ignored it, hoping only that it meant someone else would be given the case. Though, she'd have to answer to Taylor in a more direct way over it, she supposed. A polite smile on her face, she walked over. "Congratulations, Ms. Hamilton."

"Thank you." Taylor popped an olive into her mouth and rolled it around for a second, enjoying the saltiness before deciding to chew it. "And it's still Taylor." She waved to a seat, irritated by the unspoken rules of civility and politeness. "Would you care to join me?"

"I'd hate to impose," she said flatly. Alex knew making an enemy of Taylor could be potentially harmful, but she wasn't going to go out of her way to be friends.

Taylor shrugged and picked up her martini. "Up to you." She was hardly going to make Alex sit with her.

The blonde pursed her lips and slid into a seat. It would be both rude and ridiculous to simply sit a few seats down when she was clearly alone. "Gin and diet tonic," she said as the bartender made his way to her. "Celebrating alone?" The question wasn't biting, but Alex had, after all, seen her with Abbie Carmichael just a week or so before.

"For now. I'm pretty sure that everyone else is still at work." She shook her head. "Someday I'm going to have some friends who aren't lawyers, but that day isn't today." And as she was about to get even more busy, she didn't know when that day might be.

"I didn't think we were allowed," Alex quipped. "Cops being the only exception." She caught her drink as the bartender slid it to her and squeezed the lime into it.

Taylor chuckled. "You might be right about that. Maybe I should get an intern to do some research. Make sure that I'm in the clear first." If she was surprised to find that Alex actually did have a sense of humor, she didn't show it.

Alex chuckled and shook her head before taking a long sip. She and Taylor had exchanged more than a few heated words lately, but this was pleasant enough. She supposed she could admit that there was some method to Liz's madness. She fingered her glass lightly as she put it down, tracing the edges. "I think I know half of the people in the bar. I guess you never really get to leave the office."

Looking around and spotting more familiar faces than not, Taylor nodded. "I try to avoid lawyer bars for the most part, but it was convenient tonight. People would be disappointed if I just went home and getting anyone to go a few blocks further out of their way is like pulling teeth."

"Ah..." Alex just nodded. She hadn't really been party to any after work drinking with colleagues yet. She didn't know that she really would be. "I'm sure." She licked her lips lightly and looked down into her drink before looking directly at Taylor again. "I don't mean to be rude, but...are you and Abbie Carmichael..."

Alex had stumbled on a question that was much more complicated than Taylor thought she suspected. "Abbie and I are..." Taylor sucked on her lips for a second. "We're very bad for each other. Abbie calls it a 'vortex of competitive evil'. So, if you're asking if we're together, then no, we're not."

Alex shook her head, her cheeks coloring lightly. She took a longer sip of her drink as she kicked herself for asking in the first place. It was none of her business, and she was only interested in Abbie professionally. She needed to know how to approach the woman about her time at SVU without pissing her off too badly--again--and that was it. "I'm sorry, it's none of my business."

Taylor shrugged and motioned for the bartender to refill her glass. "It isn't a problem. It isn't like it's a secret or anything. I don't do secrets anymore." She had had enough of that when she was in the Navy and constantly looking over her shoulder.

"It's...not a secret?" Alex furrowed her brows.

Taylor shrugged again. "I wouldn't say that everybody knows. But there's a difference between discretion and being in the closet. I spent ten years in the Navy terrified that someone was going to out me. I don't have the energy to keep playing that game."

"I wouldn't have...guessed either of you were out," Alex murmured as she finished her drink and motioned for another. She felt like she was digging herself into a hole. It certainly wasn't something she cared to discuss about herself.

"Would you like some help out of that hole, Cabot?" Taylor smirked slightly. "I don't think that you're actually that interested in my love life, so why don't we just drop it and move on?"

Alex pursed her lips; she didn't like being read so easily. "Right...to anything you'd like." She didn't even want to think about what sort of impression Taylor was getting.

Taylor thought for a moment, trying to find a safer topic than whatever she and Abbie were doing or the politics of being out. "So, how do you like working for Donnelly so far?" Work was always safe.

"Ah..." Alex nearly choked on a sip from her refreshed drink. Working for Donnelly wasn't a problem. The fact that the blonde had both figured out her preferences and very nearly put her on her knees within a week...was. "It's fine. She and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, but it's fine."

Taylor nodded and popped her second olive into her mouth. "Fine is good enough. Better than despising her. I hated my first boss at the DA's office." And she had been glad when he had left just a few months after she was hired. "He thought everything was a pissing contest and that women didn't have the right equipment to be allowed to play."

"It'd be nice if that had changed any in general," Alex replied. And it was nice that she didn't have to deal with that kind of bullshit in her direct chain of command. But she suspected they all got their fair share...though, she'd found that if she were cold enough, she could minimize the amount of men calling her 'sweetheart.'

"Yeah." Taylor twisted her glass between her fingers. "This guy was a bastard, but I got off lucky and for the most part he ignored me. I find it helps that I can do more pushups than most men, but I don't think most women want to go with that option."

Alex had a brief flash of just what Taylor might look like doing more pushups than most men and she flushed lightly. "Yeah," she managed before going back to her drink.

Taylor noticed Alex skin flush and managed not to raise her eyebrows. Maybe Alex wasn't quite as straight as Taylor had thought she was, or maybe was she just hot. Taylor couldn't be sure. That didn't, however, mean that she didn't want to do a little experimenting. She licked her lips and shrugged her suit jacket off, letting it hang on the back of her chair. Her shirt wasn't particularly thin, but it didn't have sleeves, and Taylor knew exactly how good her biceps looked. "So, we've done the prerequisite talking about work and bitching about men. Now what?"

"I'm...not sure..." Alex tried not to look. Taylor wasn't exactly her type, but she was just really beginning to notice how attractive the blonde was. "There's something else besides work?" She managed a smile.

Taylor laughed. "Maybe there isn't." It seemed like it was late enough that some of the people that she actually liked hanging out with would start showing up, but it just wasn't happening. Of course, talking with Alex hadn't proved to be too bad either. They hadn't started arguing yet.

"So...you were in the Navy?" That gave Alex a legitimate reason for eyeing Taylor's arms. She wondered if the woman had any tattoos but stopped short of pondering just where they might be. Playing straight had never been particularly hard for her, and she hadn't needed to when it proved useful. But balancing that and this job was proving...interesting.

Taylor fingered the ring on her right hand. The underside was worn smooth from the habit and she couldn't remember a day that she hadn't put it on since it had been baptized. "I was. As was my father, and his father, and you get the idea."

Alex smiled, understanding in a way. Her father had been a lawyer turned politician, and his father had been a lawyer, and her mother's father... "Yeah...I know how that goes."

Taylor looked taken aback, her eyes wide. "Does that mean that we actually have something in common?" She laughed at her own joke. She had met Alex's father once, briefly, when he was still a Senator and she was still in the Navy, but she didn't bring it up.

"Besides being in the DA's office?" Alex half smirked. "Stranger things have happened, I suppose." She looked at her empty glass, pondering whether a third would be a wise idea the way things were going.

"Indeed they have." Taylor leaned back in her chair, the alcohol slowing working away her stress and her barriers. She quickly pulled the pins from her hair and ran her fingers through it. "I don't know that anyone else is going to be showing up."

"I'm sorry..." A third drink was definitely the wrong option, but Alex found herself calling for it anyway. There was something about a woman pulling her hair down...

Taylor shrugged. "Their loss. We seem to be doing just fine by ourselves." Which was surprising, but not unpleasantly. She ordered a third drink along with Alex's, not really thinking about it.

The third drink went a little bit more quickly than Alex had anticipated, and she felt the pleasant fog of her buzz deepening--hence the pleasantness where she would normally be more controlled. She found herself staring again at Taylor's arms, and she reached out to touch the muscle. "You must still work out."

Taylor almost laughed outright, but she stopped herself short and it came out more like a choked sob. That didn't, however, stop her from flexing her bicep as Alex touched it. "Yeah. Almost every day. It's a hard habit to break." If Alex wasn't drunk, she was hovering on the edge of it, which meant that Taylor was going to have to be the noble one. Taylor didn't much like being noble.

"Hard habit to get into, too." Alex leaned back in her chair, feeling just slightly unsteady. Taylor was looking more alluring than she had noticed before, even if Alex preferred her blondes older. She smiled warmly.

"I wasn't given much of a choice." Taylor waved down the bartender one last time and paid both their tabs. "And I think it's time for us to stop drinking and get out of here."

Alex looked around as if someone might hear or see them. When she was satisfied that no one was paying attention, she turned back to Taylor and smirked. "My place is pretty close."

"Oh good." Taylor had no intention of going to bed with Alex, but she would worry if she didn't make sure that Alex got home in one piece. "You can show me the way." She grabbed her jacket and slipped her other arm around Alex's waist.

"Yeah..." Alex slipped out of Taylor's arm, but she still smiled. Everything was a little hazy, but she still knew to keep up appearances. Once they got outside, she waved Taylor forward. "Just this way."

"Right." Taylor didn't try to put her arm back around Alex, but she stayed close enough to catch her if she fell. "Just keep walking."

Alex waved to her doorman as they stepped inside her building, and she made her way to the elevators. "You'll have to excuse the boxes...I haven't had much time to finish unpacking."

Taylor shook her head. She didn't think that she'd actually be seeing the boxes, but that didn't stop her from getting into the elevator. She hoped that Alex wouldn't try anything during the ride up.

As the doors slid closed, Alex leaned close to Taylor, running her fingertips down the blonde's arms, this time with more intent.

Taylor couldn't really suppress her shiver, but she took Alex's hands in her and gently tried to redirect them. "Alex..." The rest of her explanation got cut off as the elevator door opened.

"Just let me..." Alex fumbled in her purse for her keys, dropping them once she got them out. She laughed lightly as she picked them up. "It's just down here."

"Why don't you let me get that?" Taylor reached out for the keys and hoped that Alex would hand them over or they were going to be standing in the hallway for a long time while Alex figured out how to unlock her door.

She nodded and handed over the keys, watching Taylor unlock the door. Alex partially knew that this was probably a mistake, but she told herself she just wasn't going to think about it then.

Taylor held the door open for Alex. "Well, have a good night." Taylor thought it was better to just get it over with and get out. She wasn't sure if Alex was going to get angry at her for being misleading, and she wasn't in the mood for a fight.

Alex's mouth hung partially open, and she shook her head, trying to clear it. "Wait...what?"

"Alex, I don't have sex with drunk people, and you're close enough that I'd be uncomfortable. I just wanted to make sure that you got home in one piece." Taylor held her hands up and stepped back.

Alex pursed her lips and straightened herself, suddenly feeling more sober than she really was. She pushed up her glasses. "I trust this won't leave this building," she said, each word forcibly clipped.

Taylor rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone." She shook her head. "Have sweet dreams, and if you're still interested when your sober, you know where I am." Taylor turned toward the door and let herself out.


	9. Entropy

The day should have been drawing to a close, but Alex didn't see an end in sight. Not only was she supposed to do her job, but she was also reporting back regularly to Phillips about SVU. At that point, she wasn't really able to give him much that the Morris Commission wouldn't have already seen, and the stress was taking its toll. Alex tapped her fingertips on her keyboard thoughtfully before leaning back in her chair. Her last encounter with Abbie Carmichael hadn't been what she would call pleasant, or really even cordial for that matter. And she had been avoiding any other ones just based on the fact that she didn't need unnecessary hassle on her schedule--SVU was good enough at providing that.

She glanced out of her window rather than at the clock, knowing on instinct that Abbie would probably still be there. Then Alex went back to her desk, looking for anything that might be done that wouldn't turn into an utter time suck. It was as if the universe was telling her to swallow her pride and get it done when she found nothing immediate--not even a late or urgent email. She pursed her lips; it was business, and SVU was her territory now, and it only made sense that they behave like adults and actually sit down to talk about any loose ends. She she uncrossed her legs and slipped on the shoe she'd let dangle and fall from her toes earlier, and as she stood, she pulled on her blazer. They both had to eat, at least. So, Alex swallowed her pride on the premise that it really wasn't swallowing her pride after all and made her way to Abbie's office, lightly rapping on the door once she got there. It was already half open, so she stepped into the threshold. "I was going to grab some dinner...I thought maybe you could join me."

Alex's voice brought Abbie out of her reverie the later days tended to settle her into. Once the phones stopped ringing, and people were less likely to stop by, she tended to relax and really take time to think about her cases. She had been thinking about how best to question a certain witness, and singing a song she couldn't quite remember in her head. The brunette put down the paper she wasn't actually reading, and turned to Alex. The blond wasn't the first person she expected to come by her office after hours, but her demeanor seemed more relaxed than usual, which immediately made Abbie wonder if she wanted something. Something besides dinner, that was. She was about to lie and say she'd already eaten, when something in her gave a little and she smiled slightly. "I wouldn't mind I suppose. What are you still doing here anyway?" Abbie was already standing to get her things.

"Probably the same thing you're doing," Alex replied. She tried not to jump to the defensive immediately, but her voice held something of an edge. She ran her fingers through her hair and decided to try again. "I've always preferred staying late to coming early." She shrugged. "There's a place a few blocks from here that has great salads, if you don't mind the walk."

Abbie slid her coat on, "The walk is fine, but I hope they serve something other than salads." She was only half kidding.

"I'm sure they do," Alex replied offhandedly as she pressed the call button for the elevator. Once inside, she was quiet for most of the ride down. it was as if she thought Abbie might suddenly change her mind if she talked too much about what she really wanted. As they were walking however, she spoke. "I thought we could talk about SVU."

That didn't entirely surprise Abbie, it seemed logical. "Sure, what do you think I can help you with?" There were any number of things that could be at issue, it wasn't exactly an easy unit most of the time. Abbie let the blond lead her into a cafe she'd walked by any number of times without bothering to stop at. They sat at a table and waited for service. Abbie leaned her elbows on the table, "Anything in particular? I wasn't there too long, but try me."

"Frankly, I need to know if there were any gross improprieties--any mismanagement, lies, cover ups, et cetera. I'm not...suggesting you would ignore something like that." Alex felt her color rising slightly. The last thing she wanted to do was insult Abbie at the start of dinner. And to make it worse, the waiter came to take their orders before she could finish. She automatically asked for a salad--she couldn't remember which--with no tomatoes and dressing on the side. and once he was gone, she took a deep breath before resuming. "The unit is going under the Morris Commission, and I would like to know these things before the commission does."

Abbie crossed her arms, wishing she could be more surprised at the veiled ambush. She had half a mind to just get up and walk out on the blond, but held her ground. She had heard rumors lately about SVU, but so far hadn't been pulled into it. "No. I understand your concern Alex, but I didn't see anything of the sort, and certainly didn't participate." Really, she'd been more of a consultant for the most part, it was a close unit to take on only part time. "They're good people, and I wouldn't put much stock in outsiders on a witch hunt."

Alex nodded thoughtfully as she fingered the stem of her water glass. She wasn't sure she completely believed Abbie--though, the brunette sounded sincere enough. What she knew--what she had learned recently, rather--about Abbie and Detective Benson concerned her. At least, she told herself it was concern. "I hope you're right," she murmured distractedly.

Abbie wasn't satisfied with that answer at all, but had to wait to reply until the waiter set down their meal and stepped away. The brunette pointedly turned her plate around so she could start with the dish of pasta rather than the side salad. "If you don't want to believe me that's fine Alex, but let me give you some advice." She took a sip of her iced tea, remembering again why she shouldn't bother to order it up North, and poured a few sugar packets in it. "If you want to work in SVU, learn to trust them and your own instincts. The commission will get bored and move onto some other poor bastards soon enough, and you'll still need to work with these people." Abbie paused for a moment, annoyed now both at Alex's questions and the utter refusal of the sugar to dissolve in the cold tea, "And if you have some real questions about my work there you think might settle your mind, I think I'd like to hear them now." She wasn't threatened by whatever was going on at SVU really, Abbie knew her worth to the state.

As she rearranged her salad, tossing it idly with her fork before dipping the tines into the dressing and spearing a carrot, Alex watched with an almost morbid fascination at the way Abbie stirred the tea, trying to get the sugar to dissolve. Her father had liked iced tea, but she'd never seen anyone make that kind of face or put that much sugar in. She shook her head to bring her thoughts back to the conversation at hand. And Abbie's annoyance only served to heighten her on. "Where in your work did sleeping with one of the detectives come in?" she blurted.

Abbie let the spoon clatter against the side of the glass as she dropped her hand away. "Excuse me?" Her voice was level, and she nearly glared across at Alex, "I don't see how that's any of your damn business." It really wasn't, and the presumption of the blond to bring it up in context immediately raised Abbie's ire.

Alex pursed her lips as she leaned closer, lowering her voice so as not to completely cause a scene. "I'm sorry; I gathered it was common knowledge or close to it, as Olivia didn't seem too shy about it." She was flushing now, and she could feel the heat of it creeping down her neck. Alex hadn't meant for this to go so badly; she hadn't meant to be so completely mannerless about the whole thing.

Well, that wasn't overly surprising on Olivia's part really, and Abbie could deal with her later. "Let me be clear then, whatever Benson might be bragging about in the squad room didn't and doesn't have any bearing on how either of us did our work." Abbie enjoyed watching Alex squirm for a moment, lowering her voice, "I know myself better than to let my work be effected by a few nights of bad sex." She smirked lightly, the comment a small punishment for Olivia.

"Of course," Alex replied, words clipped. She had tried desperately to forget the way Benson came on to her that afternoon, but now it was coming back in detail that made her wish even harder that she hadn't brought the entire thing up. And there was something about the way that Abbie was watching her that made Alex suddenly a little too self-aware. it was like she was seeing the brunette for the first time. "I'm sure. I'm just doing my job," she finished, knowing that the excuse was utterly pointless then.

"Sure you are." Abbie had managed to get through the conversation while still polishing off the better part of her pasta, and sat back with the iced tea in hand to watch Alex pick nervously at her salad. "Anything else while you're at it? You want to know how many times? Whether she passes out after?" Abbie tried valiantly not to laugh, and half expected Alex to knock something over in her dismay. The blond deserved it in Abbie's mind. "Or has the commission not asked for details yet, would you like to get back to me?"

There were, of course, no answers, and Alex lifted her head elegantly and pursed her lips, her only concession of defeat. "What you do in your off hours is your business, of course." And that was absolutely as far as she would go in asking Abbie to forgive her presumption.

Abbie nodded at the overly composed response that immediately told her that, yes, Alex would very much like to know all of the above and then some, but would never be so bold. She considered pushing further, but the blond had been punished enough for one night, "How's the Johnson trial going? Continued?"

Alex rubbed her head and did her best not to groan, only partially succeeding. Suddenly, her salad seemed less and less appetizing. "Yes. It's..." She shook her head. "It's low on the list of my problems since this case that intersects narcotics has come up." And that, of course, was when she remembered seeing Abbie and Taylor in the elevator. Alex wasn't sure if she could get her foot any deeper into her mouth that night, but that certainly opened the door.

"Ahh, yes, Taylor told me about that." She watched the blond squirm again at the mention of the name. The night was moving on, and Abbie was getting more forward, "Does the 'commission' want to know about her too?" Abbie picked up a menu the waiter had left for them to see if the place served drinks.

"Like I said...what you do on your own time is your business." And she wondered if Taylor had told Abbie about how Alex shamelessly and drunkenly came on to her in a bar just a week or so before.

She had, and Abbie smirked, "And likewise darlin'." The brunette was starting to relax and enjoy herself just a small amount, "Care for a drink?"

"I probably shouldn't," Alex replied even though she was nodding her head slowly. It certainly seemed like Abbie and Taylor had had some sort of conversation about her, and it didn't occur to Alex that she might just be letting her ego get the better of her.

"But you will." Abbie waived their server over and ordered a beer, letting the blond order for herself. "So, if we're done talking about the commission then, maybe we can move on." Abbie wasn't one to dwell, "How are you really settling in, besides apparently obsessing over who your co-counsel goes home with?" The brunette couldn't help the last dig, deciding to let it rest finally.

Alex flushed and wished she'd gotten something stronger than a glass of pinot noir. But she decided she would be the bigger person and ignore the last comment. Besides, it wasn't who Taylor Hamilton was sleeping with that she care about--but Alex ignored even thinking that. "I'm fine; the work is..." Alex shook her head lightly. "I don't know that I'll ever get used to the victims. But I'm settling in fine; Donnelly has been helpful."

Now it was Abbie's turn to wonder for a moment, but pushed it away. She respected Liz, even though they rarely got along. "That's good, Liz knows those cases well, and she doesn't like bullshit." Abbie took a long pull of her beer and set the glass down on the table, "And you're right on about the victims. As awful as it sounds, the dead ones are easier to represent most of the time."

"Yeah..." Alex was watching Abbie drink, fixating on the woman's hands more than her words. She had closed herself off to attachments for some time. What she did with Liz was... Alex wasn't entirely sure what it was, but the times it had happened, it had been necessary, even though she hadn't realized it initially. And what she had done to Taylor had been a mistake. Drinking too much around Abbie would obviously be the same thing. But she still found herself staring.

Abbie waited, thoroughly enjoying Alex's nearly glazed expression, and took another sip to drag it out. Finally she couldn't resist, "You okay over there?" It was almost too easy, but Alex was beautiful, and Abbie didn't mind being the object of her attention.

"What?" Alex's head snapped up slightly, her eyes wide for a moment before she quickly composed herself. She sipped her wine, making herself try to discern the flavors in it. "I'm fine..." And her tone suggested that she didn't understand why Abbie thought she wouldn't be.

"Oh good." Abbie's beer was already nearly gone, and she was feeling like pushing, "I think I'll be ready for a second round in a bit, but I have no interest in paying restaurant prices." She took her last sip and set the glass down, "Care to join me? Or, do you have more work to do tonight?" Abbie didn't have as strict of rules for herself as Taylor, but she wouldn't ask twice.

Alex flexed her fingers around the stem of her glass before pushing it away. "I think I'd like something stronger," she said finally. It was dangerous ground, but she couldn't help but feeling that she needed to make up for the tension that seemed to come with every time she and Abbie met. She waved the waiter over for the check and slipped bills into the folder as she stood. "Did you have some place in mind?"

Abbie stood and put on her coat, "Home." She turned and glanced over her shoulder at the blond, "You coming?"

After Abbie turned back, Alex picked up the wine and finished it. She caught the door as the brunette stepped out and sided to her on the sidewalk. "Abbie...what kind of invitation is this?"

Alex was so deliciously off-balance Abbie could hardly contain herself, "Any kind you want." She let the blond follow after her out of the cafe and down the street. She didn't live far and didn't see the point in taking a cab. "But it starts with a drink, and does not involve any more talk about commissions."

"That's..." Alex shook her head and tried desperately for some clarity. That was fair enough, she supposed. But there was something about Abbie that left Alex wondering just where the encounter had started and who was directing where it would go. "Fine. That sounds fine," she finished before clearing her throat and squaring her shoulders without realizing it.

"Good." They rounded a corner onto Abbie's street, "How long have you lived in the city then?" She shifted the conversation as if they did this every night.

"I was born here, actually," Alex replied. She resumed when they got past Abbie's doorman and into her building's elevator. Alex knew smalltalk and knew its value, but she'd never used it to calm herself the way she was doing just then. "And I spent summers out of school here," she said as she leaned against the elevator wall. "What about you?" It was obvious that Abbie wasn't exactly a New Yorker.

Abbie looked up, doing a bit of counting in her head, "Wow, five years this summer actually." It hadn't seemed like that long. She chuckled as she opened her door, "And I still think the winters are cold as hell." As if to demonstrate, she took off her coat, and made a bit of a show of hanging it up with her scarf and hat. She waited for Alex to do the same before stepping down the hall, "So I think I promised you a drink?"

"A martini, if you have everything," Alex called after her as she hung up her coat. She looked around curiously but politely, noticing touches that seemed to distinctly belong to the Texan even though Alex barely knew her. Now that they weren't in public, she felt more at ease, and when she caught up to Abbie she smiled genuinely. "There's got to be something besides the weather that's keeping you here."

If there was one thing Abbie did have, it was a well-stocked bar, and she pulled out another beer for herself, sipping it while she made Alex's drink. As the blond looked around, Abbie grimaced a little at herself at the state of the place, and tried to nonchalantly move an empty pizza box so they could sit. "Well, my big secret is I really don't mind the city...as much as I might complain." She suddenly really hoped there wasn't anything too inappropriate on her bedroom floor, should things go that way of course.

Alex sat and politely ignored the pizza box and the two empty beer bottles that Abbie nearly knocked over in moving it. The mess was hardly at frat house level, and the place certainly didn't smell...so she reserved judgment. They all had lives outside of the office--just very little time to clean up after them. She sipped the martini and found herself licking her lips. "Is bartending a mandatory subject in Texas schools?" It was meant to be a compliment, but Alex realized it could be taken the wrong way. "I'm sorry; this is very good," she self corrected.

Abbie laughed and let her accent thicken to an almost comical level, "Why of course lil' lady." She laughed again and kicked off her heels, "And I promise never to call you that again."

"Thanks." Alex thought her cringe might have been more noticeable than she intended. But she was distracted by letting herself notice Abbie's legs for the first time without the context of the office and all of the baggage it brought. And as much as she tried, she couldn't keep herself from appreciating.

Abbie followed Alex's eyes, and moved a little closer. "If you keep looking at me like that I might have to ask you to do something about it, or head out for the night." It was a bold statement, but Abbie liked how Alex blushed when she was embarrassed, and didn't think she'd be ready to run off just yet.

At that, Alex took a long breath; she was trying not to be obvious, but there was nothing about Abbie Carmichael that suggested subtlety. Still, it was out in the air between them, and rather than answer, Alex took another sip of her drink. If the brunette thought Alex was going to simply go to bed with her because of one line like that, she was wrong. "You don't seem like the type to ask nicely," she managed.

Well, she hadn't run, and Abbie's interest was still growing, "Maybe the first time, but I don't like to have to repeat myself." She leaned back against the side of the couch, considering the blond for a few moments, then laughed, "Would it help if I did push-ups for you?" The brunette couldn't resist.

Alex arched one of her thin eyebrows and leaned back, though her body was far from completely relaxed even though Abbie's laugh was something she immediately thought she might like to hear more of. "It seems we have something in common, as I don't like to repeat myself either." She took the spear of olives out of her glass and slid one off carefully with her teeth before chewing it thoughtfully. "But I'm not sure pushups would really impress me." Though, they might make her squirm a little bit if Abbie's shoulders were half as interesting as her hands.

Abbie started to peel the label off her beer bottle, still not looking away from Alex, "So then, what does impress you?" She chuckled, "Please God don't say blonds."

This, Alex knew was the moment she needed to either act or go home. Her own movements seemed intolerably slow as she put her glass down and leaned forward, reaching out for Abbie and pulling her into a firm kiss.

Abbie returned the kiss and wrapped her arm around the blond, keeping her beer in the other. She kissed Alex again, then smiled at her, "Well that's a relief." She laughed lightly and ran her fingers through Alex's hair before kissing her again, pressing herself against the other woman.

Alex drew back and licked her lips, catching the faint taste of beer, which somehow only added to Abbie's allure. What she wanted was to press back, to start undressing Abbie right then and there, but she crossed her legs coolly. "Well, that's a start."

Abbie raised an eyebrow and took another sip from her beer, enjoying the play. She waited, looking Alex over shamelessly for a few moments. "And I think it's far from the end." And Abbie was itching to touch the blond, but instead she just started to work a few of the buttons loose on her shirt.

Before she could move to the next button, Alex slid closer and wrapped her arm around Abbie, slipping her fingers through her hair. She kissed Abbie again, drawing on leg up underneath her so she could get even closer, pressing into the brunette.

"Mmmn..." Abbie let herself melt a little into the touch, and ran her fingers down Alex's back, pausing at her waist to un-tuck her shirt so she could slide her fingers underneath. She lay back, pulling Alex with her, her free hand still mindlessly holding the neck of her beer bottle as it dangled from the edge of the couch. The brunette kissed Alex again and mused to herself just how unexpectedly nights could take pleasant turns sometimes.

"Do you have a bedroom," Alex murmured as she pulled away and took a sweeping glance of the room, "or should I just move another pizza box?" She was twirling a strand of Abbie's hair lazily even though she was more than ready.

Abbie laughed, "Well either would work." She kissed Alex as she pressed her up and stood, immediately taking off her shirt the rest of the way, followed by her skirt, and threw them over the arm of a chair. She smirked and held out her hand to Alex, shrugging. "Dry-cleaning." Absolutely loving the color her actions added to the blonde's skin, Abbie took her hand and led her to the bedroom, her drink still in the other hand.

The bedroom, much to Alex's relief, was devoid of beer bottles and smelled faintly fresh, as if Abbie had a sachet or two of something hidden in some of her drawers. Still, the floor, especially near the closet and bed, had its fair share of discarded clothes on it. She tightened her grip on Abbie's hand and used it to pull the taller woman close, flushed with the desire to feel the heat of Abbie's skin. She gently tugged the bottle out of Abbie's hand and took a long sip. However, when Alex noticed a dildo half covered by a pair of jeans, she nearly spit the beer out through her nose.

Abbie quickly followed Alex's line of sight and blushed for the first time that night. She quickly just kicked the whole pile of things under the bed, grimacing as this action uncovered a pair of standard-issue handcuffs. She just had to laugh then and shrug at Alex. The brunette took a moment and finally finished off the beer, setting the bottle on a dresser. "I...ummm....yeah sorry." She looked a little sheepish and kissed Alex's cheek, glad the blond didn't protest when she started to take off her shirt, "I...usually clean up better."

Finally, Alex felt like she had something of the upper hand in seeing Abbie blush that way. It was easy to miss, but that made it all the more appealing. She simply smiled and cocked her head, hoping she wasn't blushing just as much as Abbie was. "I can tell you've been...busy," she said as she put her hands on Abbie's chest, fingers playing over the brunette's collarbones.

Abbie enjoyed the touch, and continued to work on Alex's shirt, pushing it off while she smirked. In reality, she just hadn't been home much that week to clean up. Things were still a bit out of order from the previous weekend when she'd invited Taylor over to celebrate her taking the promotion. After she had met the blond at the door in little more than panties and a necklace (holding out a drink of course), the night had taken some interesting turns. It had led to one hell of a long Monday, but Abbie considered it totally worth it. The brunette smirked again at the memory, and reached for Alex's skirt, "Well.....only a little...."

As Abbie was getting it off, Alex was unclasping the brunette's bra. She stepped out of her skirt easily just as she ran her fingertips over Abbie's breasts, over her nipples. "Sounds fun," she murmured before kissing up her jaw, underneath her ear.

"Mmmmn... Enough about my lack of time to do housekeeping." She started pushing Alex back toward the bed, "Why don't you tell me what you like?"

Alex licked her lips, letting her legs fold as they touched the bed, but she pulled Abbie down on top of her. "You're making me think you're too lazy to find out," she quipped as she started to push Abbie's panties off.

Abbie chuckled, "Hardly.." and pressed against Alex, kissing her and reaching for her hands. The brunette smiled, and nipped at Alex's neck as she pushed the blond's wrists over her head. "I think you'll like letting me enjoy myself," She smirked, "Or at least I will."

"Well..." Alex flexed her fingers and settled into the position as she felt the thrill of anticipation. "I'd hate to get in the way of that." She shivered, not bothering to hide her delight at the turn of evens, at Abbie's forwardness. And she was willing to play along for the moment out of her own desire and curiosity over just what would happen next. She was learning not to try to predict things with Abbie.

Abbie smirked again and sat up, pulling Alex's panties off and pausing to consider the beautiful woman looking so expectantly up at her. This night was definitely turning out better than planned. The brunette smirked again, and started running her hands over Alex's body, kissing her occasionally. She didn't have any plan really in mind, and just acted on instinct.

The touches made Alex's skin prickle with anticipation, and when she could, she kept her eyes fixed on Abbie's long fingers. But the obvious lack of intent made her begin to squirm, and soon, she was pulling her hands down from Abbie's careful positioning and running her fingers through the brunette's hair. "Tease," she whispered.

Abbie let it continue for a moment, then glanced reproachfully at Alex, "Thought you could do better than that, Cabot." She paused, just brushing her fingers over the blond's nipples, "You've got two options darlin'," Her hands moved a little slower, "Either put your hands back, or make me fuck you." Her voice was heated, but almost casual, and she watched Alex's expression, thoroughly enjoying herself.

Whether it was Abbie's words or her touch that made her moan, Alex couldn't say, but without even thinking about it, she tightened her fingers in the brunette's hair and pulled her into a fierce kiss. "I'll take the latter," she whispered, nipping at Abbie's earlobe. Alex kept a hand in Abbie's hair, and ran one palm firmly down the brunette's side. She pressed it between the brunette's legs, moaning when she raked her fingers through Abbie's curls and between her lips, feeling just how wet she was. "The sooner you fuck me, the sooner you can come."

"Oh...is that so?" Abbie was intrigued at the blonde's unexpected choice, but wasn't about to let a good moment go. She didn't pull away from the hand in her hair, and moaned lightly. Despite her order, Alex kept touching the brunette, and Abbie took advantage, pressing down on her fingers. "Mmm....yes...Alex."

It was all too easy to get caught up in the sound of Abbie's voice. of her raspy moans, and Alex couldn't take her eyes off of the brunette's face. She pulled her down into a kiss before kissing down her neck, her chest and nipping at one of her nipples. "You're being selfish," she growled, but Abbie felt so good that Alex couldn't stop herself from sliding two fingers into her.

"I could say the same of you, " Abbie's voice was just a low whisper, and she pressed against Alex with more force. She was close already, and didn't feel the need to wait much longer.

"God...please," Alex moaned, not knowing whether she was begging for Abbie to touch her or begging for her to finish. Either way she got something that she wanted--though Alex hadn't realized that she so badly wanted to see Abbie in that moment of tension before her release. She kissed Abbie's neck, nipping it, deliberately marking it as she thrust more firmly, meeting the weight of Abbie's body and pressing the heel of her hand into the brunette's clit.

"Mmmm...yes..." Abbie closed her eyes and started to let go, leaning back to allow Alex to watch her. The brunette took her time, moaning wantonly, before relaxing, laying across the blond. Eventually she smiled to herself, "Now....I think I remember something about making you come?" She nipped at Alex's skin, and gave her a playful glance.

Alex blinked slowly, her eyes alive with want. Instead of responding, she pulled Abbie into a kiss, pressing her body against Abbie's almost desperately. If this was any sort of punishment for the way she had behaved at dinner, it was working.

"That's not much of a demand, but I suppose I could indulge you this once." Abbie was enjoying herself almost too much, and started to kiss her way down the blond's lanky body. "Besides.." She pretended to look hurt, "I wouldn't want you to call me a tease again."

"No..." Alex found some composure and put her hand on Abbie's head, urging her down firmly. "Because that would certainly be...undeserved."

"Certainly." Abbie let the other woman guide her down, and settled between her legs, not wasting any time in starting to lick her.

Alex moaned and shuddered under the intensity of the touch. She ran her fingers through Abbie's hair, touching her own nipples with her other hand. "God, yes...that's it," she said, whimpering lightly at just how close she already was.

The way Alex's voice was deepening with obvious pleasure made Abbie forget any thoughts of drawing it out, making her wait, and she slipped two fingers inside the other woman, increasing the contact as much as she could.

She closed her eyes and dug her heels into the bed, but even if Alex had wanted it to last longer, she couldn't have held off the climax that had been building for so long. She shuddered, body arching and mouth open until she finally stilled, letting her fingers relax in Abbie's hair.

Abbie moaned, and it faded into a sigh as she slipped up to rest her head on Alex's stomach. The brunette let her fingers run over the other woman's skin lightly while she quieted. The night was completely unexpected, but Abbie wasn't about to question it.

Alex continued to run her fingers through Abbie's hair, content to let their bodies cool there together. She looked down, almost not believing that hours before, both of them had, at points, been ready to walk away from dinner. But she wasn't sentimental about it' their differences were still there. Finally, Alex coaxed Abbie up into a light kiss, then she ran her fingers over the mark she had made on the brunette's neck. "I should go."

Abbie nodded almost immediately, but was surprised to feel herself sink a little. It made perfect sense, and still, something nagged at her. The brunette just nodded, and kissed Alex back, giving her a smile. "Okay....I'll....I'll see you out." Her voice was soft, the earlier challenge and edge worn away.

"Thanks..." And Alex found herself seeking another kiss, unwilling to get up just yet. It was a default to finish and just go, to save herself and whomever she was with any chance of awkwardness in the morning. And it was something she'd come to live with. But lying there underneath Abbie's lean body was nice, and unlike other encounters Alex had had, she was pleasantly worn out.

"Mmmmm...sure..." Abbie nodded again, but didn't make any move to get up, still lying comfortably across the blond. Her eyes were closed, and she waited for the other woman to stir, taking a last moment.

As Alex drifted to sleep, wrapping an arm around Abbie contentedly, she murmured again that she should go, but she wasn't sure she even said it aloud. And that morning when she woke, Alex found Abbie sprawled to her side, on her stomach. The brunette had her arm throw across Alex's chest, fingers curled around her ribs at her side. She took a moment, blinking in the light filtering through the bedroom window. It was still early, and they were both going to have to get to work at some point. Gently, Alex extracted herself from Abbie's grasp and found the short trail of her clothing. Once she was dressed, she could resist leaning down and kissing the brunette's shoulder before simply slipping out.


	10. Week in Review

Nora put down the paper, folding it neatly before taking off her glasses when she saw Liz approach. She smiled quietly up at the blonde. The table before them was set, and the view was especially clear that morning. "Traffic?" she asked. Neither of them needed menus really, but Nora opened hers anyway.

"An accident three blocks over," Liz said as she sat, putting her napkin in her lap and ignoring the menu. "I didn't keep you waiting for too long, did I?" She checked her watch, hoping that she wasn't too late.

"No, not at all. It's nice to be able to aimlessly go through the paper once in a while." She folded her menu and let Liz order, following with her own. And as the waiter refreshed her cup of coffee she stirred cream into it. "You've had a good week."

"The parts of it that didn't up on your desk were good enough." Liz sighed and leaned back in her chair, inhaling the scent of good coffee. "How's your weekend been so far?"

"Busy," Nora replied. She sipped the coffee thoughtfully. "The parts that ended up on my desk could have been worse." She hated saying it, but it was true. "Alex Cabot seems to be working out well. I know you had your reservations."

"She is." Liz didn't like admitting it, but it was true. "If she doesn't get too caught up in her own ego, I think she'll do very well." And if she did get too caught up, Liz had ways of dealing with it. She couldn't help but smirk a little.

The expression didn't escape Nora and she cocked her head, coffee cup poised as she was about to take another sip. "Was there more?"

"If you're asking as the DA, then no. There's nothing else that you want to know about." Liz smiled at the waiter as he put their food down in front of them. "Everything's under control. She's even almost getting along with Abbie Carmichael, though I think that might have something to do with the fact that they're sleeping together."

"Are they?" Nora shook the peppershaker over her eggs. "I thought Abbie was with Taylor Hamilton." She didn't want to say she couldn't keep up, but she wasn't exactly sure what Abbie and Taylor were to each other from week to week.

Liz shrugged. "I have no idea what's going on with Abbie and Taylor. I rarely see either of them outside of meetings. But Abbie and Alex are definitely up to something. I saw them leaving together the other day." And the next time she got Alex alone, Liz was going to ask her about it.

"And you're sure they simply weren't going for a drink?" Nora trusted Liz's judgment, but she didn't want to jump to conclusions. Last she'd heard, Abbie hadn't thought much of the new hire for SVU.

Liz cut into her pancakes. "I don't think so, but there's always a possibility that I'm wrong."

Nora chuckled lightly in her quiet way and looked out of the window for a moment. "I've never known you to be wrong about something like that, Liz."

Liz smiled. "What can I say, it's my own special skill." She shook her head. "Have you heard anything interesting lately?" Liz found that Nora was far better informed about office gossip than most people thought.

"I'm fairly sure that what you've told me about Abbie and Alex is the most interesting thing I've heard this week." She shook her head and half smiled. "They all work so late...God knows where they find the time." And she didn't want to think past that to what they might actually be doing in their offices after hours.

Liz shook her head. "The same place that we found the time when we were that young."

"And I somehow find time now to get home," she said, a light in her eyes as she thought about leaving in the quiet with Abbie. "I suppose it isn't as hard to drag them away as they would like us to believe."

"I guess not." Liz finished her breakfast and settled back into the chair with her coffee. "I don't think there's anything you could give me to make me want to be that young again, but I do wish that I had their stamina."

Nora raised her eyebrows. "I do hope you haven't gotten yourself into something serious with Alex," she said, half concerned.

"Serious?" Liz laughed at the thought. "No. It isn't anything serious. Just knocking her back down to size every once and a while."

"Oh..." Nora's lips rounded around the word as she put her chin in her hand. "Abbie never really seemed to need that," she murmured thoughtfully.

Liz raised her eyebrows. "Now that's a well kept secret." She wondered if Nora would expand on it at all.

"Is it?" Nora chuckled, even though she knew very well that it was. "Everyone needs one of those once in a while." She smiled; if Liz wanted to believe that Abbie had actually had sex with her, she wouldn't correct the assumption. Nora knew it wouldn't go beyond the two of them.

"Yes indeed." Liz nodded in understanding. She hardly thought that Nora might be using her position unethically. She sipped her coffee and pondered a refill.

Nora sat back and put her napkin on the table, half folded. "I sometimes wonder if it's worse for us or for Jack," she mused, almost half to herself.

"You feel bad for Jack?" Liz didn't quite understand Nora's logic on that one.

"No, no...nevermind." Nora laughed and waved the entire conversation away.

"No! I want to know what you're talking about now." Liz shook her head. "You don't get to go back on that comment."

Nora looked almost mischievous as she said, "We work with some very beautiful young women. I know it's hardly politically correct, but we're not in the office."

Genuine laugher escaped from Liz's mouth. "Yes we do. Some very beautiful women. though I think that makes going to work just as difficult for us as it does for Jack."

"Oh, I don't doubt it," Nora replied before finishing her coffee. "Do you have anything planned for today?"

"Not particularly. Just getting ready for tomorrow." Liz reached for her purse, sensing that brunch was nearly over for the week.

Nora put her hand on Liz's gently. "It's my week," she said as she accepted the check from the waiter. And as much as she enjoyed these little escapes, she actually had some work to get through that afternoon.

Liz gracefully withdrew. "Of course." Liz smiled as she pushed back from the table. "I'll see you next week then."


	11. Truce

Taylor knocked on Alex's door. It was near the end of the day, and as Alex's blinds were closed, there was every chance that she was gone for the night. But Taylor needed more information on how Alex was interpreting a case because as many times as she read the relevant information, she simply couldn't figure it out. She needed Alex to interpret her special brand of logic. When she didn't get an answer right away, Taylor looked at her watch and tapped again. She really didn't want to have to call Alex at home.

"Yes?" Alex could, irritation lacing her voice. She had hoped the closed blinds would deter any late visitors, but she should have known better.

She opened the door, ignoring Alex's tone as she stepped in. "Hey. I need you explain just how you're reaching this conclusion," she held the file out to Alex, "because it isn't making any kind of sense to me."

Alex pursed her lips. She and Taylor had exchanged a number of emails since the last time they saw each other face to face, and it was easy to forget about that night that way. Now, having Taylor there put her on edge. "I thought my line of reasoning was pretty clear and in line with what you pushed for on this. I based the sentence enhancement on his priors, and he only served six months for the last one; he's still on probation." She leaned back in her chair and folded her hands primly.

"Right. Of course." Taylor nodded "I must have just been trying to make it more complicated than it was." She rubbed her forehead. She was still in the process of transferring from her old position to her new one, and the mental gymnastics that it seemed to require were starting to take their toll. "I'm just seeing problems that don't exist. I'm sorry that I bothered you." Taylor stood there for a long moment rereading the paragraph, blocking Alex's door.

A sigh of relief almost passed Alex's lips before she could catch it. She ran her fingers through her hair and swallowed. "I...should apologize for...what happened."

Taylor looked up, confused for a moment before it occurred to her just what Alex was talking about. "Oh. It isn't necessary. You were... incapacitated." And Taylor was almost frustratingly good at doing the right thing. She had gone home more intrigued by Alex than she had realized when she was fending her off.

"Well, I..." Alex shook her head. She'd apologized and Taylor had accepted. And she needed to let it go there. "It won't happen again."

"Okay." Taylor knew that she should just turn around and go back to her office, but for some reason she continued to linger. "Right." She tapped the file folder against her palm and turned to go, only to take half a step and turn around. "You know, if you're ever interested when you're not drunk..." she shrugged and smiled. "Just sayin'." She took a couple of steps backwards before she turned around again, half shaking her head at herself. Sometimes she didn't know why she got herself into these things, but it was more fun to just imagine the look on Alex's face as she walked away.


	12. When it Rains...

Alex ran her fingers through her hair as she ducked into the bar out of the rain. It hadn't been her intention to get a drink that night, but she didn't have an umbrella...and she was having a hell of a time getting a cab. One glance and she spotted Taylor Hamilton, and rather than duck back out, possibly just hide, Alex swallowed and walked over to her. She was an adult, and running away from one stupid night where she had been drunk was ridiculous. "Taylor..." She smiled. "Hi."

After a long pull, Taylor put down her beer. "Cabot." She pushed a stool away from the table with her foot, a silent invitation. "What brings you out tonight?" She hoped that Alex would take the invitation, just where she could see Abbie's face when she came out of the bathroom.

"The rain...if you believe it." Alex took a silent breath before swallowing and sitting. Taylor had offered her a drink, and she supposed now was a good enough time to take it. It was hardly as if one or two nights with Abbie meant that they were supposed to be exclusive. Though, something tugged at her when she thought of Abbie. She looked up at the waiter who stopped by. "Just a glass of red wine...anything but merlot," she said as he moved off.

Abbie was headed back from the bathroom, already prepared to jump Taylor for drinking her beer...which she always did when Abbie looked away. However, she stopped mid-thought when she saw Alex at their table, mind trying to figure out what the probability of a coincidence might be. Before they could notice her, she shook herself and made her way back, sliding into her seat next to Taylor. "Alex. What are you doing here?" She tried to stay casual and picked up her beer and mentally weighed it, shooting Taylor a look.

"I..." Alex blinked in surprise when she saw Abbie, and her mind flashed to the night she saw her leaving with Taylor. She knew she was blushing, and she couldn't believe how shitty her luck was when it concerned Taylor. "I just stopped in for a drink." She was tensing to stand as she shot Taylor a look. "I didn't realize you were here."

Abbie had control of the situation again, and caught Alex by the sleeve as she tried to stand, pushing her back to her seat gently, "Yes, I'm here Alex. Hope that's not a reason for you to run off."

"No..." Alex flashed an uncomfortable smile. "Of course not." And she was relieved when the drink appeared. Alex swirled it out of habit and found looking at the legs much more interesting than she might have otherwise.

"Good." Taylor grabbed Abbie's beer and stole another sip. "I'd hate to think that we had run you back into the rain." She grinned at Abbie, bumping her foot against Abbie's leg.

"Bitch..." Abbie's voice was playful as she snapped at Taylor, and she took her drink back, tipping it back and finishing it in one pull before sitting it on the table with a satisfying thud.

Alex smiled as she looked up at the two of them before shifting in her seat. "Still, I hate to think I'm interrupting your night." Obviously Abbie didn't think they were exclusive either, and she tried to dismiss her rising jealousy.

"No, really Alex, it's fine." Abbie smirked and nudged the empty bottle toward Taylor. "Taylor was just about to get me another round."

"Of course, _dear_." Taylor laughed and rolled her eyes but she got up anyway. Abbie wouldn't like it if she made her wait until the waiter came back.

As she watched Taylor walk away, Alex let out a long sigh and took a sip of her wine. "Well...it's good to see you outside of the office," she said, grasping for something to talk about besides where everyone was sleeping for the night--even though she found that that was her primary concern.

"Likewise...I like to try and leave once in a while...now and then." Abbie looked over the blonde, "You all right?" Despite Alex's slightly disheveled appearance from the rain, she was still gripping her glass a little too tightly for comfort. "Relax, we won't bite." She smiled at the comment.

At that, Alex had to let a little of her tension go; it was as if Abbie simply demanded it. And she laughed lightly, brushing her damp hair back. "You sure about that?"

"Yes." Abbie smirked, feeling punchy on account of the next round not being just her second, "Unless you like that kind of thing."

"Don't make promises that you can't keep, Carmichael." Taylor reached around Abbie and put two beers on the table before she leaned in and nipped at Abbie's earlobe. She didn't really care if it made Alex uncomfortable. Teasing her seemed like it might be a fun way to pass the night.

Abbie squirmed and shoved Taylor back into her seat. "Behave, Taylor..." She tried to keep her voice in a warning tone but failed nearly completely. To cover, she just took a pull of her new drink.

"I'm not sure I heard any promises being made," Alex said, trying not to blush. She had to admit, even if she was jealous and feeling like something of a third wheel, Abbie and Taylor were...incredibly attractive together.

Taylor shrugged in Alex's general direction as she picked up her own beer. "Good, because I rather like biting." She grinned at Abbie, a silent promise for later than night.

"Calm down, Hamilton." Abbie gave Taylor a glance and looked slightly apologetically at Alex, only to chuckle to herself at the blonde's more than casual attention. "So, Alex, big weekend plans?"

"No..." Alex said, shaking her head as she snapped back to herself. She took another sip of her wine, realizing that it was all too easy to become caught up in whatever it was that was going on between Taylor and Abbie. "Work and..." She shook her head and smiled a bit. "I was going to look at a pair of puppies."

"Puppies?" That was enough to get Taylor's full attention. "What sort?"

"Pitt bulls," Alex replied, leaning forward a bit. She fingered the stem of her glass lightly, all pretense and tension disappearing. "They do better in an apartment than you might think..."

Abbie grinned, "Oh you're serious...real puppies." Pitt bulls wouldn't have been the first think that came to mind when she thought of Alex, maybe something more along the lines of a whippet or greyhound or...something.

Alex raised her eyebrows questioningly. "As opposed to...fake puppies?" she asked before taking another sip of her wine. The glass was almost empty, and she knew that while she should probably go, she wanted another.

Taylor flagged down the waiter, not willing to start fetching Alex drinks. "I wish I had the time for dogs." Really, dogs were far too much of a commitment for her. "To new puppies then." Taylor raised her beer bottle for the toast.

Smiling, Abbie mimicked Taylor's actions. She leaned back against the booth behind her, finally relaxing from the week. "Taylor...when are you going to get me a puppy?" She laughed at her own joke and started peeling the label off her beer bottle.

Taylor raised her eyebrows. "Get you a puppy? I didn't know you wanted one." She took a long sip of her beer and shot a look at Alex. If she was going to get Abbie a puppy, it was hardly going to be a conventional one after all.

Abbie pretended to pout, sliding a little closer to Taylor. Alex's glance was apparent, but it just made Abbie more determined, "What if I did want one....not saying I do but..." She leaned in and kissed Taylor's neck, "What if I asked nicely?"

"Then I would have to get you a puppy, wouldn't I?" Taylor turned into Abbie and cupped her face, pushing her fingers into her hair at the nape of her neck. She glanced back at Alex just as their lips touched.

The spectacle was making Alex blush. At least, she thought it was the spectacle; there was something about the way they kept talking, the way they kept looking at her. Alex found herself shivering as she gulped the wine completely inelegantly.

Abbie pulled back from the kiss, still smiling lightly. This wasn't the first time she and Taylor had been in such a situation, but the way Alex was so obviously interested in them was just too good. Abbie stood and moved behind Alex, reaching over her shoulder to cover the blonde's hand on her wine glass, steadying it, "Slow down there darlin', I don't think we'll be leaving without you." She smirked over at Taylor, sure she was reading them both well enough.

Taylor smirked at Alex. "Oh, you don't have to worry about her. Alex already knows that I don't sleep with drunk women." She was thoroughly enjoying the sight of Abbie's arms wrapped around Alex and she wanted to see it again back at her apartment, with both of them wearing significantly less.

"I'm afraid I..." Alex cleared her throat before swallowing again. This wasn't exactly what she had expected to walk into when she ducked in out of the rain, when she sat down with Taylor. She took a deep, almost shuddering breath and pushed her glass to the center of the table, keeping her eyes on it.

Abbie held in a laugh, not wanting to make Alex even more nervous. "Well then..." She slid back to her seat next to Taylor and set about taking a last few sips of her beer. She raised an eyebrow at Taylor's expression, "Oh you know I'm nowhere near drunk."

"I never meant to imply that you were." Taylor finished her beer and slid the empty bottle towards the center of the table. "I am, however, getting sick of this bar." She grabbed her briefcase and slung the strap over her shoulder. "I'm going home. You're both more than welcome to join me."

Abbie nodded, automatically taking her last pull of beer, and standing to follow. She had no intention of the night ending otherwise, and looked to Alex, waiting.

She wasn't a child, and she wasn't a teenager anymore; so, Alex stopped looking to anyone else to give her permission. She stood, pushing her chair back possible too forcefully and turned to follow the two women.

"If the two of you don't hurry up, I'm going to leave without you." Taylor was holding open the door to the bar and pulling her car keys out of her pocket. The rain hadn't stopped, and she had no desire to get all wet.

"Shut it Taylor. You wouldn't pass this up; I know you." Still Abbie took Alex by the hand and tugged her out after the other blonde.

Alex wrapped her fingers in Abbie's and soon found herself sitting in Taylor's car. She was far from drunk, but the easy rapport between the two women left her head swimming. With Abbie, she always felt one step behind; with the both of them, she felt like she was constantly scrambling.

The drive back to her apartment wasn't long, and Taylor was soon pulling into her space in her building's garage. "Come on." She waited for them to get out of the car before she locked it, even though she wasn't looking back at them. If Abbie had to drag Alex into the elevator, that was fine with her. If she didn't, that was even better.

Luckily for Abbie, Alex seemed willing enough, and soon they were in the hall outside Taylor's apartment. Abbie smiled and pulled Alex a little closer, whether it helped her relax or put her more on edge didn't really matter to the brunette, either way she enjoyed it.

Taylor unlocked the door and ushered them both inside. "Make yourselves comfortable." She caught the back of Abbie's skirt as she passed and pulled her into a quick kiss.

"Mmmnn..." Abbie jumped slightly, then pressed into the kiss. She loved that light in Taylor's eyes and was thoroughly looking forward to the rest of the night.

"Make sure she relaxes." Taylor smirked, and with that, she headed toward her office to put her things away.

Abbie nodded and took Alex's hand again, "Drink?"

"No, I don't think so..." Alex wanted to be sober for this, she decided, and she kissed Abbie's fingers slightly. "Why don't we just...sit down." She took a deep breath, trying to let calm settle over her. Two beautiful women...she was lucky, but she wasn't quite in charge. And that was really the problem. But Abbie was smiling, and she didn't waste much time, as Alex felt her gently but firmly turned her head toward her for a slow kiss.

Alex moaned and settled against Abbie, relaxing into the kiss. It was a known quantity, and she couldn't deny just how much she enjoyed it. She ran her hand up Abbie's thigh, resting it there. Abbie just smiled, and started working her lips lower, quietly starting to untuck Alex's shirt. If Taylor was going to disappear, Abbie didn't see the sense in sitting around waiting. She didn't dwell on what Taylor might be up to, and slid her fingers under Alex's shirt.

Taylor came back to sight of Abbie pushing her hands under Alex's shirt and she smirked. "Oh good, I was hoping that you wouldn't wait." She ran her fingers through Abbie's hair, encouraging her to continue. Her own hair was down, falling around her shoulders, and she'd taken off her suit, leaving her clad only in her bra and panties.

"Mmmm...Taylor..." Abbie's voice was almost a whine, and she pressed into Taylor's fingers even as she started to unbutton Alex's shirt. By the look Taylor was giving them both, Abbie could tell things might be even more interesting soon.

Taylor's voice brought Alex back to her surroundings, and she opened her eyes, pulling away from Abbie slightly. The brunette's long fingers on her skin kept her focused however, and she pressed her hand further up Abbie's leg, underneath her skirt as she kissed her again.

"Mmmm....Taylor..." Abbie's voice was almost a whine, and she pressed into Taylor's fingers even as she started to unbutton Alex's shirt. By the look Taylor was giving them both, Abbie could tell things might be even more interesting soon.

Alex found herself struggling to get out of her shirt, and she took the liberty of undoing her bra and slipping it off. She looked up at Taylor, moaning when she met the blonde's eyes. There was something there that she immediately recognized from her encounters with Liz, and it made her breath hitch.

Taylor crooked her finger at Alex, still running a hand through Abbie's hair. "Stand up." She wanted to see Alex, and to see how she reacted to the command. While Alex hesitated, she took a deep breath. And then she slowly got to her feet, turning towards the blonde.

"Mmm..." Taylor took the liberty of running her hands down Alex's sides as she pulled the other woman into a kiss. "You are so much more attractive when you're half naked." She started unfastening Alex's skirt, letting it fall to the floor.

Alex shivered and stammered out her thanks, not really sure that it was necessary. She stepped out of her skirt, pushing it away, and she found herself blushing that both Abbie and Taylor were watching so intently. She hesitated, fingers hovering over the edges of her panties.

Abbie smirked, looking over Alex's skin, "I'm inclined to agree with you on that, Taylor." To prove the point, she sat back, letting her hands rest behind her head.

Taylor hooked a finger in the waistband of Alex's panties, tugging her closer. "What do you think Abbie? Should we let her take them off?"

Abbie grinned at her, "If she asks nicely maybe."

After licking her lips, Alex swallowed, trying not to let her temper flare. "I think I'll keep them on then," she managed without letting her voice rise.

Abbie smirked again, and stood, neatly pushing Alex back a few steps. She moved in front of Taylor and kissed her, then glanced over her shoulder at Alex, "Enjoy the wait then."

Taylor chuckled at Abbie's audacity. "I think you're over dressed as well." Taylor crossed her arms and waited.

A small noise of frustration came from Alex's lips before she could stop herself. She stepped up behind Abbie and quickly unzipped the brunette's skirt, pushing it to the floor. "Who said I wanted to wait..."

Abbie's hand snaked around and caught Alex by the wrist, and the brunette turned to give her a warning look. "You did, just a moment ago." She didn't release Alex until she pulled the blonde in for a forceful kiss, then shoved her back a step. The brunette didn't bother to put her skirt back on, and instead just pulled at the rest of her clothes, taking them off and throwing them on the floor.

"You're both incorrigible." Taylor lightly slapped Abbie's ass and rolled her eyes. "Go be incorrigible together in the bedroom. I want to watch you."

Alex raised her eyebrows and tried to look nonchalant. She couldn't deny her body's response to Abbie's treatment, and she couldn't deny that she was wary of Taylor's orders. Just because she wanted to watch didn't mean she wanted to see either of them come. But Abbie was grinning, obviously pleased with the light punishment, and Alex did not resist as she leaned in and kissed her, catching her wrist again, and started pulling her toward the bedroom, trying not to stop kissing her. As they stumbled forward, Alex nearly tripped, almost cutting Abbie's lip with her teeth. She steadied herself against the brunette, and once they got to the bedroom, she tried to gain the upper hand by pushing her towards the bed.

Taylor chuckled at the two of them as she followed them to the bedroom. "And I thought you were the one that was going to go looking for puppies. I seem to have found two of my own." She shook her head as they tumbled into her bed, limbs entangled.

"Cute Taylor." Abbie rolled her eyes at the blonde but pulled Alex over her, kissing her again. She couldn't help but squirm under Alex, thoroughly enjoying herself.

As she took in the exchange, Alex ran her fingers down Abbie's side and up again, stopping to tease the brunette's nipples. "Why do I put up with you?" she murmured as she kissed along Abbie's collarbones. Alex hadn't meant to say as much out loud, but just Abbie's presence encouraged her to lose control of her better instincts.

"I think that much is obvious." Abbie smirked and nipped at Alex's neck. She glanced at Taylor, and licked Alex's neck. "You're really just going to stand there?"

"I thought I might go out and get you both collars and leashes... Maybe something to chew on..." Taylor sauntered over to the bed, looking down at the other women.

Alex stopped cold and blinked, trying to decide if Taylor was kidding or not. The feel of a collar always gave her pause, but the rest... She kissed Abbie roughly, trying to cover her pause as she pressed her leg between the brunette's.

Even though Alex tried to cover it, Taylor caught the pause and raised her eyebrows. That was certainly an interesting response, particularly as it wasn't accompanied by any sort of outrage. She grabbed Alex's hair and pulled her away from Abbie, kissing her herself. "Why do I get the feeling you might like that?"

She gasped and struggled against the kiss, trying to twist out of Taylor's grasp. "I wouldn't," Alex snapped. And it wasn't entirely a lie.

"If you say so." Taylor let Alex go, clearly not believing her but unwilling to take away from the moment by arguing the point. She ran a hand down Abbie's stomach, encouraging her to continue.

Abbie took Taylor's encouragement, but paused for a moment to raise an eyebrow at both of the other women, though she settled her attention back on Alex, kissing her deeply before pulling back to whisper, "Yeah, we're gonna talk about it later." Then she pulled Alex down and kissed her again. Alex moaned into the kiss, squirming. She knew Abbie would make good on that if she remembered, and it was going to take a hell of a lot to make her forgot. So, she went ahead and tried to get started on that, pressing her hand between Abbie's legs and pushing two fingers into her.

"Mmmn...yes..." Abbie moaned, arching up.

"That's it." Taylor ran her hands over both of them, encouraging them but doing little else, content for the moment to watch them touching each other. The tussling and fighting amused her, and she was going to encourage it up until the moment one of them truly tried to challenge her.

Alex nipped hard at Abbie's ear. "I want to see you come," she growled, knowing that if Abbie indulged, it would be simply because she wanted to come.

"Good..." Abbie flashed Alex a smile. She wasn't much for denial anyway. Soon she was pressing down against Alex's touch squirming into more contact shamelessly.

Taylor leaned down and kissed the back of Alex's shoulder. "I think you'll find that Abbie isn't much for waiting if you give her a choice."

Yes, Alex had quite found that, but she wasn't complaining in the frenzy of the moment. She simply wanted something to happen, someone to break. Alex flicked Abbie's clit with her thumbnail, then pressed into it as she circled it, still pumping her fingers as the brunette started to come. She could hear Taylor chuckle, watching all the while and shifting as Abbie fell back onto the bed.

"Your turn." She pulled Alex up and into her arms, kissing her deeply.

Abbie's moan and the way she had squirmed as she pushed, fighting almost not to come down had made Alex's own desire rise. She was wet, almost shamefully wet, and she couldn't help pressing her thighs together as she kissed Taylor back.

Taylor pushed her hand between Alex's legs and felt just how wet she was, smirking as she pulled her hand away again. "Perfect." She kissed Alex again, then stepped back. "On the bed, on your hands and knees."

Alex's eyes went wide, and she turned back to Abbie, only to see the brunette smirking lazily. "W-what?" she stammered, so ready for release that she couldn't comprehend.

"Mmmnn...you heard her Alex..." Abbie moved over on the bed, allowing Alex room to do as Taylor said, still smirking. She just curled up, still hazy, to watch Taylor work. It wasn't often she got to enjoy such a show.

Taylor brushed her thumb over Alex's cheek. "Be a good puppy." She nodded toward the bed.

"I...I'm not..." Alex looked between the two of them, realizing she had lost long before the three of them walked into Taylor's apartment. She hesitated for a moment before crawling onto the bed as Taylor asked, glaring at Abbie as she did so.

Abbie moved from her position just long enough to kiss Alex and then lay back down, "Mmm...good girl..." She glanced at Taylor and smiled slyly.

"Better." Taylor brushed her fingers between Alex's legs again as she went to the dressed and pulled out a strap on and some lube. "I should make you suck this for taking so long."

Alex drew in a shuddering breath and closed her eyes tightly. She was sure at that point that she wouldn't--couldn't--say no to whatever Taylor decided she should do, and she found herself moaning lightly.

Abbie watched them both, pulse increasing again when she saw Taylor's intent, and moved closer to Alex, running her fingers through her hair. She didn't know Alex well enough to read her tones, and kissed her cheek, "You're beautiful...but do you want this?" Her voice was low, almost a moan itself.

The question gave Alex pause, and she looked up at the brunette, seeing as much desire in her eyes as she felt. "Yes...yes, I do," she rasped.

Taylor had no such qualms as she pulled on the strap on and covered it with a condom and lube, stroking it as she watched Abbie and Alex talk. Once she heard Alex say yes, she knelt behind her, hand wrapped around the base of the dildo as she guided the tip into Alex. "I'm glad to hear that." She kissed Alex's shoulder and kept pushing the dildo into her inch by inch. As she felt the toy, Alex moaned, only growing louder while Taylor pushed into her. She pressed her hips back wantonly but craned forward, almost begging Abbie for a kiss, which she was mildly surprised to be granted.

"Perfect." Taylor picked up her pace, bracing herself against the bed and Alex's back. "Touch her clit Abbie. Make her come while I fuck her."

Even the promise of Abbie's touch in addition to Taylor's made Alex moan more wantonly. She whimpered, "Please," as she looked up at Abbie.

Abbie pulled herself closer, kissing Alex again, and running her fingers over the blonde's skin to tease and then stroke between her legs. She held the back of Alex's head, keeping her close, enjoying hearing her moan. And Taylor grinned at just how perfect the moment was and proud of herself for orchestrating a perfect view of it. Abbie and Alex were kissing as if their lives might be in danger if they stopped, and Alex was shaking underneath her. She reached around to pinch one of Alex's nipples and pushed the dildo even further into her.

"I want to see you come, Alex. I want to feel you." She was whispering it in Alex's ear, but Abbie was so close that there was no way that she couldn't hear her as well. Alex's climax was already beginning, and Taylor's breath on her ears only pushed her more forcefully into it. She moaned desperately as she tried to stay up, arms shaking. And finally as she began to come down, she collapsed half on top of Abbie.

As Alex fell, Taylor tightened her arm around her, slowing her fall and keeping her pressed up against her chest. "I've got you."

"Mmmm..." Abbie made a quite contented noise, and nodded at Taylor, pulling Alex gently down, and wrapping her in her arms, immediately stroking her hair while she quieted, "That was...perfect..."

As she slowly began to settle, Alex shivered lightly, pressing her body into Abbie's. She sighed and looked up at Taylor, blinking as if the blondes were a vision.

"I think we've exhausted her," Taylor teased as she slipped off of the bed.

"I'm fine," Alex protested. It would hardly be fair to let the night end there, when she knew Taylor had to be wanting, and for the first time that night, she didn't feel as nervous.

Tossing the condom into the trash and the strap on onto the dresser, Taylor smirked. "You looked like you were about to go to sleep a second ago." She sauntered back over to the bed and leaned down for a kiss. She was the only one left with any sort of clothing on, though her panties were wet and her bra was going to need to be washed from the sweat. She unhooked it and sat on the edge of the bed.

Alex looked to Abbie and half smirked lazily. "Would it be fair of me to fall asleep without thanking Taylor for the evening?" she asked. Fair wasn't generally Alex's aim, but she hardly wanted to end up owing Taylor one, knowing that it could take them just about anywhere.

Trailing her fingers lightly over Alex's skin, Abbie glanced over Taylor, licking her lips, "No, not fair at all."

"And yet I don't see either of you finding the energy to do anything about it." Taylor smirked as she poked at them, hoping to goad one of them into pouncing on her.

An emphatic sigh escaped Alex's lips as she stretched leisurely. She propped on her elbow, taking the sight of Taylor in. It was amazing how composed the blonde was compared to how Alex had just been. But instead of standing, she slipped to her knees and ran her palms up Taylor's thighs as she looked back at Abbie questioningly.

Abbie smiled and moved behind Taylor, pressing close behind her. She could feel the light sheen of sweat on the woman's back, and kissed her shoulder, tasting the salt. "You want her, don't you?" The brunette grinned, and reached around Taylor to tangle her fingers in Alex's hair, and pressed her head slowly down between Taylor's legs.

Alex moaned, narrowing her voice to a hum as she pressed her tongue, her lips to Taylor's clit. Her limbs were heavy, and she could not keep from closing her eyes, simply tasting, touching Taylor leaned away from Alex long enough to pull her panties off, then happily push her fingers in Alex's hair, right next to Abbie's. She stared at the way their skin contrasted and she leaned back, letting Abbie support her weight as her vision went hazy.

The moment was too good and Abbie kissed up Taylor's neck, stopping to drag her tongue over her ear. "You're enjoying yourself too much Taylor..."

"Too much? Is there such a thing?" There was something utterly decadent about the moment and Taylor fully indented to enjoy it. Her climax was building quickly and it wasn't going to take much more on Alex's part to push her over the edge. As if she could sense as much, Alex slowly pressed her fingers into the blonde, squirming lightly, wanting nothing more than to see her come and come undone.

"Apparently not." Abbie held Alex's head steady, twisting her fingers in the blonde's hair, and drew Taylor into a deep kiss.

Taylor opened her mouth to Abbie's tongue, reaching back for her with one hand as she kept the other on Alex's head. It took nothing, a contraction of muscles against Alex's fingers, for her to start coming, and she kept kissing Abbie as it rolled through her. She stopped to breath as her muscles finally relaxed.

Finally, Alex propped on her elbows and drew in a deep breath as she watched the two women. She wanted to roll over, to lie beside them and simply fall asleep, and her whole body screamed for it. But she knew she needed to go, and something pulled at her with the thought. Abbie was still holding Taylor, laying back with her against the pillows when Alex met her eyes. She saw Abbie's intent, nodding, inviting her to stay, but it was as if Abbie was resigned already to her going.

"You're welcome to stay." Taylor's eyes were still closed as she hung on to the moment of peace her orgasm had brought, but she could feel Alex moving away. "You can ask Abbie about just how good I am at making breakfast, and the bed is more than big enough." Taylor finally opened her eyes and looked at Alex reassuringly. Taylor never kicked anyone out of her apartment, particularly not in the middle of the night.

"Thank you..." Alex smiled wistfully. She was in no condition to disobey her whims completely, and as she began to pull on her clothing, she leaned in and kissed Abbie less lightly than she had intended. When she pulled away, she was blushing. "Thank you for the night..."

"I....goodnight Alex..." Abbie watched the blonde move away for a long few moments before sighing lightly, and wrapping Taylor's arms around her for the night.

Taylor rolled her eyes and rolled out of Abbie's arms. "Walk her out, you idiot," Taylor whispered. Alex didn't entirely look like she was happy about going, and even if she was more anxious than she looked, someone needed to lock the door after her.

Abbie looked at Taylor for a moment before doing as she said. She caught up to Alex as she reached the door and caught her by the arm, "You're all right?"

Alex furrowed her brow and ran her fingers through her hair as she looked anywhere but into Abbie's eyes. She was fine--she thought, at least. But she didn't want to stay, to find out what their mornings were like. "I'm fine..." she flashed a smile. "Really. You should go back to bed."

The brunette studied her expression, and kissed her cheek. "Can I see you soon? And not just at the office?" It was a strange time for such a request, but they weren't exactly following convention.

"I'd like that. Coffee...dinner, maybe." Alex chuckled lightly at the whole scenario. She leaned in, kissing Abbie's lips for only a brief second before opening the door. "Goodnight..."


	13. Overture

While Alex wasn't sure what Abbie liked in her coffee, she made sure to grab several packets of sugar, remembering how the Texan had taken her iced tea. After their dinner, Alex had let the issue of SVU go; she didn't think she would get anything useful from Abbie, and she was beginning to think there wasn't really any point in the exercise--the squad was passionate about the jobs, but not to the point of wrongdoing. The last she had seen of the brunette was an offer of drinks and another morning heading home in the early hours. She balanced the cups one on top of he other as she made her way from the elevator to Abbie's office, bracing them underneath her chin as she tapped on the door.

"Come in..." Abbie didn't look up from her work, editing a last line while the door opened. When she saw Alex, and the coffee, she smiled, "Alex. And to what do I owe the pleasure?" She smirked lightly, "And I do hope one of those is for me."

"It is..." Alex half smiled as she put one of the cups in front of Abbie and dropped the sugar packets in a small mound beside it. "But I wasn't sure how you took it." And she wasn't sure how to answer the casual question. Alex routinely went out to get coffee at this hour to get some air if she knew she'd be working later. But tonight, she realized she really wasn't interested in staying at the office.

Abbie smiled and reached for the cup, sipping it carefully. "Black is perfect." She leaned back in her chair, enjoying the way Alex looked so expectant, "Working late?"

"That was the plan..." Alex took the top off of her mocha and took a sip, indulging herself in the whipped cream. She didn't sit but merely lingered there, looking down at the brunette, hoping that it was obvious that she didn't mind a change in plans.

"Was?" Abbie raised an eyebrow, already seeing where this was going, but letting Alex twist awhile longer. "And now...what, Alex?"

Alex licked her lips and shrugged. She was getting used to Abbie's teasing, though it always put her a little off balance. This time, however, she replied with, "That could be up to you."

Abbie took another sip of her coffee and stood, casually glancing over Alex. "Up to me?" It was getting later and the office was mostly empty. She circled the blonde, stopping behind her, and slid her hand over Alex's skirt. "I see." Without asking further, Abbie pushed Alex's skirt up, and hooked her fingers around the waist of the blonde's panties, immediately dragging them down. Surprised, Alex stepped out of them, and Abbie quietly tucked them in the pocket of her slacks. The brunette stepped back a half-pace, and spanked the other woman lightly, "Go home Alex." She moved back to her desk, "I'll be done here soon."

Her breath hitched, and Alex slowly made herself put the top back on her drink. Just when she thought she had the situation nicely in hand, Abbie had found another way to surprise her, and she was already wet with the promise of just what might happen when Abbie decided to show up. "I'll leave the door unlocked," she said as she slowly turned on her heel.

Abbie watched the flustered blonde go, and smiled to herself, shaking her head as she went back to her work.


	14. Voyeur

It was later than usual, even for Jack, as he flipped off his light and closed his office door. He was tired but not in an unpleasant way, which was a nice change. As he was heading out, mentally going through a list of places still open for him to grab a bite to eat on his way home. he saw Abbie's light still on. Not surprising. He shook his head, smiling to himself as he approached. Surprising, however, was the sight of Alex Cabot through the open, slatted blinds on Abbie's window. He decided he might as well say hello.

"Prove it." Abbie smirked at the lanky blond standing in front of her. They kept having these competitive moments, though she wasn't minding where this one was going at all. The current bet concerned Abbie's generally held belief that Alex didn't have the capacity to surprise the Texan, and Abbie had been deeply enjoying how heated things were getting. She watched, defiant, as the blond moved closer, bringing them within inches of each other.

Jack watched Cabot lick her lips. He just heard what Abbie said, her rasping drawl carrying out of her office, but he didn't hear the blonde's reply. It looked like she was smirking, like she was going to put her palms flat on the desk. But he stopped in his tracks when she dropped straight to her knees, hands going to Abbie's thighs to push her skirt up. Jack swallowed as he heard her very clearly say, "Yes, Abbie?"

"Shit..." Abbie hadn't thought she'd actually do...this...here. The brunette wasn't in the position to do anything but gasp as Alex's fingers hooked around the waist of her panties and dragged them down. "God...Alex...you....wouldn't..." Despite her surprise, Abbie instinctively slid a hand through the blond's hair and closed her eyes, bracing herself on the edge of her desk.

"Mmhm," he thought he heard Alex murmur. Jack knew he should leave. He knew he should turn around, go get Chinese, and head home, but instead, he was loosening his tie as Alex spread Abbie's legs and tugged the brunette's panties off with her teeth. The movement was so practiced, so perfect, that he had to blink to be sure he was actually watching something real.

Abbie growled and only allowed Alex's mouth to get far enough away to pull her panties to her knees before she was dragging her back closer, making Alex push them the rest of the way with her fingers. Abbie didn't mind losing the argument if this was the outcome. She was painfully aroused, both by Alex's quick movements, and the location, and the next thing Abbie knew she was untucking her own blouse and pushing one of Alex's hands under it. "God...." she moaned deeply, tossing her head back when she felt the blond's breath between her thighs.

As he watched Alex's face disappear between Abbie's legs, Jack ran a hand over his chin, shaking his head. If the situation in itself was amazing enough, he found himself impressed when Alex managed to unbutton Abbie's blouse enough to let it hang open while she touched her breasts. But if someone had asked what happened after hours in the DA's office, _this_ would not have been his answer. He licked his lips.

"Mm," Alex hummed as she pressed her tongue to Abbie's clit. She rolled one of the brunette's nipples between her fingertips, then the other, and just as she went back to pinch the first, she nipped at Abbie's clit playfully.

"Don't tease...mmm....Alex...." Her voice trailed higher, despite the seeming command. She was moving slowly under the blond's mouth, fingers flexing in her hair as she got closer.

Jack couldn't picture Abbie on her knees, but he wasn't sure exactly how she'd gotten Alex Cabot there. The blonde had an impressive family history, and she knew how to call in a favor. Even so, he wasn't sure who exactly was calling the shots, and he wasn't sure how the hell he was going to get home being so damned aroused. He was too preoccupied to realize that he was about to sneeze, and he just barely caught it, pressing his handkerchief to his mouth and nose, hoping to hell he didn't just give himself away.

Alex stopped dead, and the silence around her buzzed with the sound of the fluorescent lighting. Abbie watched her cut her eyes to one side and then the other. "Did you hear something?" she whispered.

Abbie groaned; she was so close and wasn't hearing anything but her own pulse. She couldn't help whimpering, "What? No...God...don't stop."

He held his breath. Alex had heard him, but Abbie definitely had not. Jack watched for one tense moment as the blonde continued to pause. And he almost sighed in relief when he saw Abbie push her head back down.

Abbie moaned in relief when Alex continued where she had left off, and the brunette shifted, resting a leg over Alex's shoulder and pulling her closer. She was close almost immediately, and raised her free hand to touch her own breast over her bra. Alex, she could tell, was smirking against her clit, as she steadied herself, fingers running over the Abbie's leg. And just when Abbie was almost ready to come, Alex bit down on her clit. Abbie couldn't suppress a small yelp, both of surprise and frustration. She twisted her hand in Alex hair a bit too roughly in warning, but didn't pull away.

When he heard Abbie's yelp, Jack thought he might come right there. He wiped his brow, noticing for the first time that he was sweating lightly. He needed to go before he dropped his briefcase, but the scene in front of him, half blocked by the blinds and muffled by the door was too compelling. "Christ," he muttered quietly.

Finally, Abbie had to guess that Alex's own desire overcame her playfulness, her desire to push. She moaned as Alex pressed her fingers into her, curling them as she concentrated her tongue on her clit.

"Ohhh.....god...." Abbie's voice trailed off as Alex finally pushed her over the edge, and she twisted the blond's hair, pressing forward against her as she started to shake, moaning lightly, eyes closed in the moment.

Jack found himself open mouthed, completely short of breath as he watched Abbie's face. He hardly realized that Alex was now standing, but once he got a glimpse of her smirk, he was more than certain that she wasn't ready to be finished. Frozen in place as he was, it didn't occur to him that he might be pressing his luck by continuing to stand there as Alex leaned forward to kiss Abbie.

Abbie's fingers dragged through Alex's still nearly perfect hair as they kissed. She let it last for a long few moments, still coming back to herself, before pushing Alex away slightly roughly. She stood and pulled herself together, voice lowering dangerously, "We're getting out of here. I'm taking you home with me." The brunette couldn't wait to make that smirk on Alex's lips disappear and be replaced by almost desperate want. She grabbed Alex as they turned to leave, kissing her again, and reached a hand to touch her thigh under her skirt.

Abbie's words sounded slow, and Jack couldn't make all of them out. But he finally realized just what they meant as the brunette helped the blonde into her coat. It took a force of will from him to step back, to turn and hurry back to his office. If Abbie saw him there, there was no way she would let him live it down, and there was no way he could come up with an excuse after that. He shut his door behind him and closed his eyes--a grown man hiding in the dark. But he knew he needed to stay there a little longer before he was going to be able to get on his bike to go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Alex and Abbie leave?
> 
> [Shameless](http://archiveofourown.org/works/85884) (NC-17)


	15. Lunch Date

Jack leaned back, stretching his behind his head after tossing a pen onto the table. He watched for a moment while Abbie scribbled the last of her notes and shook her head, ponytail swinging.

"I can't see any other way we could spin this, Jack."

He pursed his lips and rubbed the back of his head as he went over the facts mentally, but a knock at the door interrupted. As one of the assistants entered with bags of food, Jack straightened and breathed in the scent of barbeque.

"Let it go for now, and let's eat."

Abbie shook her head again, smiling this time as she took the styrofoam containers out of the bags and passed one to Jack. Before opening hers, she slipped out of her jacket, tossing it haphazardly over the back of an empty chair. And Jack tried not to think about just how much more of Abbie he'd seen a few days before.

"I've never seen a girl who can pick a rib as clean as you," he said, focusing on his food.

"Yeah, well," Abbie said as she unwrapped the plastic utensils and put her napkin in her lap, "there's gotta be somethin' about it because I swear ever since then you get them every time someone leaves you alone with the lunch order."

He watched her smirk, and it occurred to him that Abbie did that a lot and that he would forever associate it with being a voyeur.

"What?" He looked up to see Abbie holding a forkful of baked beans poised mid air.

Jack picked up a rib. "What?"

Abbie took the bite and chewed thoughtfully as she leaned back; then she pointed her fork at him. "You've got the kinda grin on your face that says you might've just raided the cookie jar, and I'm startin' to feel like I'm missin' out."

He laughed lightly and shook his head. Abbie was a lot of things, but she definitely, from what he head seen, wasn't missing out. "No cookies, Carmichael. You know I've got to watch my figure."

To his relief, she let it go there, and they continued their meal in relative silence. The case was weighing on them both, but he knew they were both using their lunch as a moment of respite from it.

"You, ah, see much of the new kid at SVU…Alex Cabot?" he asked finally. Jack knew he might be pushing it, but some cookies were just too good.

Jack picked up his drink and watched carefully as Abbie shrugged; she looked absolutely impassive, and he was already suppressing the urge to squirm as he kept thinking about what her face had looked like when she came.

"Some. Seems like she can hold her own, though."

At that, Jack nearly spit out his drink; he coughed, choking lightly before he finally swallowed.

"You okay?" Abbie asked, cocking her head.

"Fine…I'm fine." Jack shook his head and cleared his throat. "That's good that she's…" He wiped his mouth with his napkin and got up. "Capable. Let's get back to it, shall we?"

Jack had started it, but he hoped Abbie wouldn't question how quickly he'd ended it. And whether there would be any other late night collaborations with SVU was something he was trying desperately not to think about.


	16. Small Favors

She'd barely had the job for a month and Taylor was already losing sleep over things that she couldn't control. At least, that's what she told herself as she sat in her office night after night, going through files, trying to get a handle on everything that her predecessor had left for her. And it didn't help that she was still wrapping up other cases that she was too involved in to just pass off to somebody else. She dug the bottle of vodka out from her bottom desk drawer, but her office seemed to be devoid of any sort of clean glass or mug, and she wasn't quite to the point of drinking it straight from the bottle. Taylor sighed and stood up, heading toward the small kitchenette in search of a paper cup.

Liz was looking for the coffee filters when she heard footsteps. She turned, poised to ask if whomever was coming in knew where they might be, but when she recognized Taylor, she smiled. It seemed like she wasn't the only one working too late. "I hope you're not looking for coffee."

"No," Taylor shook her head, an ironic smile on her lips. "I'm long past coffee. I was just looking for a mug or a solo cup or something." She ran a hand through her hair, and winced when she realized that she had already done that so many times that day that she would have to wash it before she went to bed.

She raised her eyebrows and leaned against the counter, cocking her head. "Was it that kind of day?" Liz chuckled. She really didn't need to ask if she thought back to her first few months in her position.

"I can't remember a day this past month that hasn't been that kind of day." Taylor started opening cabinets, looking for anything that she could drink out of but not coming up with much. She pulled an empty flowerpot that still had traces of soil in the bottom. "Do I even want to know?"

"I have glasses in my office," Liz said, deciding that coffee wasn't worth the effort of McGyvering a filter out of a paper towel. "Why don't I go get them and meet you in yours?"

"Sounds good." Taylor put the pot back into the cabinet. "I should warn you that I don't exactly have any mixers beyond water though."

Liz laughed lightly and shook her head, leaving any comment she might have had unsaid. She went back to her office and got two crystal glasses meant for situations like this. And soon, she was tapping on Taylor's door and closing it after her.

Taylor unscrewed the top of the vodka bottle as Liz came in. "I've got to get some of those," she poured the clear liquid into the crystal and joined Liz in the chairs on the other side of her desk.

"No one will fault you for having something to drink your scotch...or vodka," she said, smiling as she tipped her glass in Taylor's direction, "I think that was probably the first thing I did when I moved into my office."

"So long as nobody actually expects me to have something respectable like scotch." She would add it to her list of things to do when she had time, which was looking like was only going to happen sometime after she retired... or died. She didn't know which might come first. "So how many nights do you spend like this?"

Liz shook her head and took a sip of the vodka, wishing it were cold. "It's better not to ask."

"Right." Taylor pushed her shoes off and tucked one leg under herself. "So basically I shouldn't expect it to get any easier anytime soon." She nodded, as if she had expected as much, and sipped her drink.

"Something tells me you knew that when you took the job...otherwise you would have moved on years ago." Liz chuckled; she had been told the same once upon a time, and yet there she was.

"I've thought about it." It had been particularly hard to turn down the last offer, hard to turn down the friend that asked, but she had done it. "I can't quite square it away with my conscience though."

Liz finished her drink and sat the glass down. "Good; then you made the right decision." She shook her head lightly and smirked. "But you don't need me to lecture you or pat you on the back. I'm sorry I haven't offered my congratulations earlier."

Holding the bottle out for Liz in case she wanted another, Taylor just shook her head. "Thanks, but it isn't necessary. It isn't as if we see each other often." Her own glass was empty as well, be she wanted to wait to see if Liz was going to stay before she refilled it.

Liz picked up the bottle and regarded it thoughtfully before putting it back down. She then turned her attention to Taylor. "Do you think drinking warm vodka is going to make your night any better?"

Taylor shrugged. "I doubt it. But I also don't seem to have many options, other than going home, and all of this is still going to be here in the morning whether I get drunk tonight or not, so what the hell?" She shrugged again.

Liz licked her lips lightly. She'd heard rumors of Taylor's preferences, and while becoming involved with yet another of her colleagues might have been tempting fate, she didn't think Taylor the type to get attached. "Put the booze away, Taylor. If you want a drink when we get to my place, I'll make you on."

Taylor raised her eyebrows even as she put the bottle back on her desk. "Your place? Was there an invitation hidden somewhere inside of those demands?" She teased Liz as she started packing up her briefcase.

"Something tells me you're not one to complain about demands." Liz smirked as she held open the door. Something also told hr that Taylor was usually the one making them.

"Demands and orders are different things, _ma'am_." Taylor smirked back at her. "And last I checked, I'm not one of your subordinates." It didn't stop her from pressing the elevator button.

"Not in this office, you're not," Liz replied. She leaned against the back of the elevator and let Taylor press the lobby button. Her night had initially held the promise of possibly getting ahead in parts of her work, but this was infinitely more interesting.

"And you're hoping that I will be once we get back to your house?" Taylor turned to face Liz as the elevator descended. "That seemed awfully presumptuous of you."

"Do you have a different idea?" Liz asked, raising her eyebrows as she stepped out into the lobby. That was, of course, what she was hoping, and she didn't like to be wrong.

"I wasn't really thinking that far ahead, ma'am." She chuckled as she leaned on the word again. There was no way that was going to get old in just one night.

Liz gave Taylor an almost scathing look. "I'd hate to have to punish you for calling me that," she quipped as she hailed a cab and opened the door.

"Most people consider it a sign of respect." Taylor slid into the cab. "And something tells me that if you decided you want to 'punish' me for something, I wouldn't have to give you a reason." She winked at the cab driver through his rearview mirror and let Liz give him her address.

Liz did and merely chuckled to herself at the comment. "This isn't the military, Taylor. I don't need an honorific to know I'm respected."

"But it's so much more fun now that I know it annoys you, ma'am." Elbow on the window, Taylor bit the tip of her index finger as she stared at Liz. "So, what are you going to do about it?"

"I suppose you'll have to wait and see." And the waiting, Liz hoped, would be enough of a punishment for then. The cab pulled to a stop and she paid the driver before getting out, not saying a word as she ushered Taylor into the brownstone. "I think I'll go and get you a glass of water while you undress," she said as she put her things down and took off her coat.

Taylor shook her head and stepped further into the living room before she started unbuttoning her shirt and stepping out of her shoes. "Nice house," she called out after Liz. Once she was naked, she took a seat on the couch. Liz probably expected her to kneel, but Taylor wasn't interested in fulfilling Liz's expectations.

"Thank you," Liz called back. She returned a few minutes later with two glasses of sparkling water, and she merely shook her head when she saw Taylor sitting there, legs crossed. "Tell me, are you used to very specific orders," she asked as she sat and put the drinks down, "or do you like pushing for larger punishments?" Liz leaned in and kissed her, nipping at her bottom lip.

Taylor pulled away from the kiss and sipped her water, sighing slightly as she felt it in her throat. "What am I used to?" She smirked. "I'm used to being the one giving the orders. You'll have to forgive me if I can't read your thoughts. Also, if you were wondering, I think that you're over dressed." She pulled Liz down onto the couch and straddled her, hands going to her waist to untuck her shirt.

It only took some shifting and a push to force Taylor enough off balance that she had to slide to the floor to her knees. Liz had no illusions that it would last, but she grabbed the back of the blonde's neck and held it tightly. "I'll get undressed when I decide its necessary." She slid out of her shoes. "Now, I'm sure you can be better behaved."

Taylor couldn't stop herself from chuckling, even with the pressure on the back of her neck. "Mmm, maybe. Are you sure that's what you really want though?"

"If I wanted an ill behaved companion for the night, I might have brought home Abbie Carmichael." The dig wasn't entirely serious, but Liz wanted to see what sort of reaction it might get from Taylor.

Taylor laughed outright at Liz. There really wasn't any other response. "Oh God." She would have buried her face in her hands but it didn't work well with Liz still holding on to her. Still, she couldn't get the mental picture of Abbie taking bacon from her fingers out of her head. "She just requires the right motivation, really." She knew Liz didn't want her to just sit there and giggle, but she couldn't help it.

"Something tells me that the same is true of you." Liz ran her fingers through Taylor's hair, working it out of it's careful updo and letting it fall down around her shoulders. She leaned down and kissed her firmly before standing. "We're going upstairs; stay on your knees."

Taylor rolled her eyes, but she didn't get up, following Liz upstairs from her hands and knees. "Are you sure? I could inch along on my stomach. I certainly got enough practice doing that in college." Of course, then there was generally mud involved.

"And I'm sure you were the most handsome person there covered in mud," Liz replied. She looked over her shoulder and turned back, smiling to herself. "What sort of punishments do you like?" she asked conversationally as she went into her room and began to undress.

"Believe me, at that point you don't care what anyone looks like." She sat up and tried to straighten her hair. "And I'm generally a fan of simple things. I don't like over thinking things."

"That's not an answer," Liz said, pausing for only a moment before removing her bra. She sat down on the bed and nodded to Taylor as an indication that she should begin taking off Liz's stockings.

Taylor shrugged and started rolling Liz's stockings down, thoroughly enjoying the feel of her thighs under her fingers. "If I can't do it with my own hands, or maybe a belt, I don't bother, so spanking, pinching, uncomfortable positions." She almost thoughtlessly kissed the inside of Liz's thigh when she finished with the second stocking.

"I see." Liz bent to catch Taylor in a swift kiss before she leaned over to the bedside table and took out a set of cuffs. She quickly put them on the blonde's wrists. "I can clip those together behind your back," Liz said as she removed her panties, "but I'm sure you can hold them there yourself while you do this."

"Of course." Taylor tossed her hair, annoyed at how it kept slipping into her eyes. There was a reason that she kept it up. She hooked her fingers together and leaned in, kissing Liz's thigh again before she focused on what Liz clearly wanted. She brushed her nose along one of Liz's lips, then followed it with her tongue, before she pressed her tongue against Liz's clit.

"Good," Liz said, sighing softly. She enjoyed the little annoyance that Taylor displayed at having her hair down, and soon she was tangling both her hands in it as she moaned softly. "Very good."

Taylor kept licking, pushing against it even harder. It was harder than she thought it would be to keep her hands behind her back, as she wanted to be able to touch Liz, to push her down and climb on top of her, and she grunted in frustration as her fingers slipped and she pitched forward. It didn't take her long to recover, but she was annoyed nonetheless.

The small slips only pushed Liz closer to her climax. She came quickly moaning her appreciation of Taylor's skill, despite her frustration. And once she was still again, she pulled the blonde up and into a kiss. "Perfect," Liz said lazily, licking her lips. "No, go and stand at the end of the bed. You'll want to brace yourself agains the footboard." And instead of waiting for Taylor to comply, she simply got up and went to her closet.

Taylor knew better than to speculate about what Liz might have in mind. There were far too many options. So she did as she was told and stood at the end of the bed, wrapping her hands around the edge of the footboard and spreading her legs slightly. "You do know that I've been trained to resist questioning by enemy combatants, right?" Not recently, of course, and not in the sort of depth that Marines, or even line officers got, but she thought it might amuse Liz and she hadn't been told to stay quiet.

"I'm sure you have," Liz replied as she returned with a whip. She leaned in and kissed Taylor's shoulder softly. "But I'm not interested in questioning you or being your enemy. Count." And with that, she stepped back and began laying even stripes on Taylor's back.

"Jesus fuck that hurts." Taylor tightened her grip and started counting, missing the first few, but eventually catching up. As much as it hurt, it was also making her wet, the sting making her shiver each time the whip touched her skin.

Liz smiled to herself; she had expected that sort of reaction based on the types of punishments that Taylor liked to give, and the blonde was reacting beautifully. Finally, she stopped and put the whip aside, stepping close to Taylor to run her fingers down the welts. She pressed her palm between Taylor's legs, curling her fingers and raking them between the blonde's lips. "I'm so very glad you enjoyed that." She touched Taylor's clit for a merely moment before pulling away and turning to blonde into a kiss. "Now...I'll see you when you return my glasses."

"Shit." Taylor kept leaning against bed, taking the time to let her head clear and her knees stiffen. "That was... really fucking..." She took a deep breath and ran her hand through her hair again as she straightened, then turned to Liz and grabbed her by the back of the neck, pulling her into a ferocious kiss. "Right... I should go then." She stepped back and headed downstairs and to her clothing. As she got dressed, she wondered if Abbie was still awake, then decided that she didn't care. If she wasn't awake, Taylor would just wake her up.


	17. Desperate Measures

Taylor keyed in the code to Abbie's building and nodded to the security guard as she pressed the button for the elevator. She supposed she could have been considerate and called ahead, but Liz hadn't exactly left her in a considerate state of mind. She pulled out her key ring and rifled through it until she found Abbie's. She knocked on the door as she unlocked it and hoped that Abbie was alone. She didn't bother to announce herself beyond that as she unerringly headed toward Abbie's bedroom. "Wake up." One long leg was sticking out from under the blankets as Abbie slept on her stomach. Taylor slapped her thigh, though not nearly as hard as she could have.

Abbie started and yelled as she was unceremoniously woken from a dream about something she wished she hadn't been. "What the hell?!" Her voice started off with a tinge of actual panic until her head cleared and she recognized the outline of Taylor standing over her. She tried to calm her pulse and turn to face the blonde, but she was hopelessly tangled in the sheets, and could only manage it so far, "Taylor...." she breathed, "What are you _doing_ here?" Even with their particular relationship, the blonde rarely, if ever really, showed up this unannounced.

The blonde leaned down and kissed Abbie as fiercely as she had kissed Liz earlier, crawling on top of her without bothering to wait for an invitation, or for Abbie to really wake up. "Fuck me Abbie. I need you to fuck me." Her thighs burned where the welts touched Abbie's stomach and the backs of her own calves.

"What? Taylor why...?" Abbie's voice trailed off, and she returned the kiss, already moaning, feeling herself immediately respond to Taylor's touch. She was coming fully awake, and though she could tell something was strange, didn't question too far. Some times that was the best thing about Taylor, the lack of worry. The brunette immediately groaned, panting, and pushed the other woman's skirt up, and her panties aside to slide her fingers into her. "God Taylor, you're so wet..." Abbie didn't care to think of why that might already be the case. She just did as the blonde asked, pushing into her as deeply as she could.

"God, yes," Taylor moaned and pushed down against Abbie's touch. "Just like that." She wrapped her fingers in Abbie's hair as she kissed her again. She was completely keyed up and it wasn't going to take her long. She could already feel the edges of her orgasm and her arms started shaking.

"Like this?" Abbie continued, now enjoying Taylor's reaction, and firmly brushed her thumb over the blonde's clit.

"Fuck." Taylor's arms fell out from under her as she came. She let her legs slide down Abbie's length and she kissed the other woman's neck. "Thank you." Part of her just wanted to fall asleep right there, but that wouldn't be very fair to Abbie. Still, she let her eyes drift closed for a moment as she nuzzled against Abbie's neck.

Abbie shifted under Taylor, running her fingers through her hair with increasing want, she laughed lightly, "That's very polite of you. I like a girl who at least says thank you after she breaks in and demands sex." She kissed Taylor's cheek, hoping the woman wasn't just going to fall asleep, the activity had left her wanting almost painfully.

"Mmm," Taylor's chuckled was muffled against Abbie's skin. "Don't worry, I'm not going to fall asleep on you." She pushed herself up, dragging her hands down Abbie's body, then up under her shirt. "Have I mentioned that you are almost unbelievably sexy in those old tee shirts." She covered Abbie's breasts with her hands and squeezed them.

"Mmmn..." Abbie arched up into Taylor's hands willingly, "Not this week you haven't." She squirmed under the blonde shamelessly.

"Then I've been neglecting you." Taylor kissed her again, then she started sucking on one of Abbie's nipples through her tee shirt. "You are the sexiest, most amazing lawyer, no... person that I know." She pulled Abbie's panties down as she talked. "And somehow, you manage to be sexier in that old, ratty, hideously orange, rust colored, college tee shirt than most women look in lingerie." She pushed her fingers into Abbie and slid down, preparing to lick her.

"Oh...damn...Taylor..." Abbie panted, and tangled her fingers through the other woman's hair. She had to concentrate not to just come before the blonde even started. She moaned, and let Taylor push her legs apart, "God...it's good I didn't just crawl into bed naked tonight then. You'd have missed out." She could barely get through the sentence, and it faded into a whine. "Mmmmnnn...fuck me...please...."

"That's what I'm doing, sugar." It was an endearment that she picked up from Abbie, one that she quite liked. She pushed her fingers into Abbie and started licking her intently. She wanted to feel Abbie come, to have control over it.

"Fuck..." Abbie only barely registered the mimic, and started touching her own breast with her fingers, twisting her nipple and letting herself grow close quickly. Taylor was more than skilled, and Abbie surrendered herself completely, relegating herself to the delight of moaning and begging under her breath.

Taylor licked Abbie through her climax, drawing it out for as long as she could. She almost started licking her again, but she was starting to feel the hour. "That was... mmm." She slid out of the bed long enough to pull her clothing off, leaving it in a pile in the floor, before she wrapped herself around Abbie again.

Abbie pulled Taylor closer, still in a haze from the whole unexpected night. The blonde felt amazing curled around her, and Abbie shifted closer, sighing, "It was...and you are..." She still didn't care to consider the reason for the surprise visit, just glad that Taylor seemed not to be leaving as quickly as she had arrived. In just moments, she felt herself start to drift, Taylor's breath steady and warm on her neck.


	18. Not That Good

Taylor stepped under the stream of water, wincing as it came into contact with the welts on her back. She was willing to bet that Abbie was still asleep, knowing her as she did. Sometimes the sound of the shower would wake her, but it wasn't as easy to predict as the smell of breakfast. She stood there for a long moment, just letting the stream of water hit the center of her back, hoping it might make the ache there dull somewhat.

In the next room, Abbie stirred, stretching for a moment before opening her eyes. Vague memories of the night before came back to her, and she smiled curiously when she registered the sound of the shower. The brunette slipped out of bed and went to join Taylor. The warmth of the room had clouded the glass of the shower, and she slipped inside quietly.

Her smile then faded, changing to an expression of confusion and shock when she saw the red lines still bright across the other woman's back. "God…Taylor...what the hell?" She was so beside herself, Abbie didn't think twice about spinning the blonde around and pressing her against the shower wall, holding her there with a firm hand on the back of her neck. Abbie continued to stare, slowly recognizing what the marks might be, though she still wasn't sure the meaning, "Where the hell were you last night?" It definitely wasn't the who, but the what that was immediately upsetting her, and she gaped as she waited for an answer.

"Liz Donnelly's house, and I would appreciate it if you would let me go." Taylor pushed against the wall, trying to shake Abbie off.

Abbie held her for a moment longer, pressing the blonde into the wall for lack of a better plan. "Why? What were you thinking? How long have you...?" It was a desire in Taylor she had never experienced, never thought she needed, and that realization alone hurt. Abbie didn't wait for an answer, but shoved Taylor against the wall, and turned to step out of the shower, "I think you should leave." Given their...whatever it was....Abbie knew she was being irrational. If she cared enough, she should be asking better questions, should be trying to get a real answer, but something in thinking of Taylor as having that unspoken need made the brunette's stomach sink in panic. She pulled a towel from the rack, and didn't bother to notice as she tracked water out into the hall.

Taylor gaped at Abbie's retreating back trying to figure out just what was going though the other woman's head. It was hardly as if they were exclusive and Abbie had never expressed any sort of jealously before. It was baffling. It wasn't as if she sought out a whipping, and even if she had, that Abbie wouldn't understand seemed odd. She quickly rinsed the soap off of her skin and turned off the shower, quickly pulling on a pair of Abbie's sweats that she commandeered before heading after her.

Abbie had found a robe, and was digging through the pockets of Taylor's coat that she'd left in the living room. She barely glanced up when the blonde walked in, talking as if to herself, "Did you fuck her too?" The brunette found what she was looking for in one of the pockets and started looking for her key amongst the ones on the ring, "Or did you just go looking for someone to beat you?" She raised her voice, "Well?" She couldn't even explain to herself why she was so upset, and just acted on her insecurity.

"I don't see how that's any of your business." Taylor put her hands on her hips. "What the hell is wrong with you? Where is this even coming from?"

Abbie stopped fumbling with the keys, and focused on the blonde, her surprised discomfort with the whole idea getting the best of her. Her voice rose, "Any of my business Taylor? Any of my business?" She swore in disgust and threw the keys across the room onto the sofa, "You go and fuck Donnelly, let her whip you until you look like....that." Abbie shuddered before she could continue, "Then decide you might as well finish off the night by coming into my bed ....uninvited.... demanding sex." She crossed her arms in a manner Taylor had seen on many unpleasant occasions, "And oh yes...just to prove the point...you let me wake up to you still here...looking like that, and seeming to think that's just fine." Her eyes were threatening to sting with tears, but she forced it into anger, "I'd ask you if there was anything else I should know about your fetishes, but I'm not sure it's relevant any more."

"You've never cared about who else I've fucked before and you certainly weren't complaining last night." Taylor pulled on her shoes. "I'm sorry if there things about me that you don't know, but it isn't as if you've ever asked. You've always been perfectly happy to let me set the terms of whatever the fuck it is we've been doing. If you wanted more than that, you should have said something. So just go ahead and blame me for this, just like you always do, because somehow I'm the one who's always being unreasonable. It's always something that _I've_ done. Nothing's ever _your_ fault."__

"How is this possibly....remotely my fault?" She fumed, "You know what Taylor?" Abbie's nails were digging into her own skin, "When you decide to grow up enough to live in reality with the rest of us, you just let me know alright?" Taylor's strength was always a constant, admittedly a maddening one, but was something that Abbie liked to think would be there if she really needed it, and she felt blindsided by the physical signs of weakness. She went to retrieve the keys, pulling hers from the ring, and throwing it on the ground. The brunette shoved Taylor back impulsively as she pressed the rest of the keys to her, "Why the hell are you still here anyway?"

Taylor stumbled backward at the force. "Of course it isn't your fault. Like I said, _nothing is ever your fault._" She pushed her still wet hair off of her face. "And believe me, I'm leaving just as quickly as I can. You won't have to worry about me showing up and demanding sex ever again. I'm sure I can find a better fuck someplace a hell of lot less complicated than here."

"Don't give me that same old bullshit, you know damn well I own up to things when they're the truth." Before Abbie could stop herself, she was pushing Taylor back again, shoving her against the wall of the hallway. Her expression was desperate, trying to prove a point, but what one, she had no idea. " And Good...fucking....luck with finding someone else...really...I'm sure there are just tons of uncomplicated women out there. You let me know when you find them." She watched as the blonde winced, but Abbie's mind was closed to empathy, and she couldn't help herself, "Oh...I suppose you liked that," she spat, "you gonna go fuck that someone else on your way home now?"

"Fuck you, Abbie. Fuck. You." Taylor clenched her fists against any further reaction. She turned toward the stairwell, too upset to wait for the elevator.

Abbie followed after her long enough to yell one more time before Taylor made it down the hall, "Not a chance Taylor....you're good, but you're not that good." She slammed the door, and leaned back against it, heart still pounding with anger. "Shit...." The brunette covered her face with her hands, and slowly sank onto the cold tile of the entry.


	19. Never Simple

Alex shifted her glasses on her nose as she got to Taylor's door. She rapped on it lightly, not really ready to admit what had compelled her there in the first place. "Got a minute?" she asked as she popped her head in.

"A minute is just about all that I've got. Come on in." Taylor waved Alex into her office and motioned to her guest chairs. "Have a seat and tell me what I can do for you."

As she sat, Alex tugged at her jacket. She crossed her legs and cleared her throat. "Do you...have any idea what's up with Abbie?" she blurted. The brunette hadn't been as easygoing as usual for the past few days, and while Alex couldn't claim to know everything about Abbie, this seemed unusual.

Taylor frowned. "I really don't know what to tell you. I'm sorry." She pursed her lips and closed the file on her desk.

Alex raised her eyebrows slightly. The look on Taylor's face told her enough to put together a few pieces, and she found herself narrowing her eyes. "So, it has something to do with you, then."

"Abbie and I aren't speaking at the moment, so if something it bothering her, I suggest you talk to her about it." Taylor rubbed her eyes, wishing that she hadn't put her contacts in that morning. She needed a drink and it was far too early in the day to start drinking. "Now I have work to do, so I would appreciate it if you would leave."

Alex moved only insofar as to stand and put her hands on her hips. "I realize that you and Abbie aren't exclusive or particularly attached, but whatever you've done has obviously set her off." This...was a stupid idea. She and Taylor had scarcely just gotten past their differences, and she could hardly say that Abbie would appreciate her doing this.

"Whatever Abbie and I were…is over. And what happened really isn't any of your business." Taylor stood to meet Alex, leaning forward over her desk. "Now get out of my office. I'm done talking about my personal life."

"I'm not." And even though she should have been, Alex set her jaw as she crossed her arms, shifting her weight. Something pushed her to this, and she wasn't quite ready to acknowledge that it was some sort of budding feeling for Abbie. "She is obviously hurting, and she doesn't strike me as the type of person who lets things bother her. Whatever you did, you need to make it right."

"Don't you get it Cabot? This is what Abbie and I do. This is why Abbie and I don't work. I couldn't fix it the first time we broke up or the second and I can't fix it now. We're not good for each other, and we never will be. She'll get over it, just like she has every other time. Why don't you go try and help her with that instead of annoying me?" If Taylor wasn't quite in the same mood Abbie was, it was only because she was doing a better job of hiding it. As Alex pressed, that was becoming harder and harder to accomplish.

Alex pursed her lips and put her palms on the desk, leaning across to meet Taylor's eyes more directly. "I don't really care if you and Abbie are or aren't fucking," she said, voice icy. "As of right now, she and I aren't, and I'd damn well like it if that changed soon. So get over yourself and apologize," she snapped as she straightened and turned to go. "Because I sure as hell doubt she's going to."

Taylor let Alex go, slumping back into her chair. If something as simple as an apology would fix this, she would do it, but it was never that easy.


	20. Interlude: Teasing

The glasses were sitting on a side table in her office, so clean that they sparkled in the bright light from Taylor's desk. It was late enough that if she took them back, leaving with Liz wouldn't keep her from her work, but simply giving them back didn't suit her. The entire incident had thrown her not-quite-a-relationship with Abbie into a tail spin and she wasn't yet sure that they would be able to get back to the way they had been. She got up and tossed a few ice cubes into one of the glasses, then covered them with vodka. A sip later and she was headed to Liz's office.

Liz hadn't heard a knock, but when she looked up, she saw Taylor leaning against her doorframe, looking almost smug. She raised her eyebrows and leaned back in her chair. "Good evening."

"Do you have a copy of the Peterson file? I seem to have misplaced mine." She had to have some excuse to be there after all, even if her copy of said file was sitting on her desk at home, right where she had left it the day before when her briefcase was already too full. She pushed off of the doorframe, glass dangling from her fingers, almost in danger of being dropped.

"I see you're making good use of my glasses," Liz said as she got up and went to her filing cabinet. She took the file out of the top drawer, where she kept the most recent things she had been working on, and she handed it across her desk to Taylor, who she was sure didn't need it at all.

"I hope you don't mind?" Taylor took the file, letting their fingers brush lightly. "I still haven't found the time to go get my own." She stepped back, turning to go. "Thanks for the file. I'll get it back to you."

"Of course," Liz replied, holding Taylor's eyes for a moment. She didn't have time for more than that that night, but she was very interested to see just what the blonde thought she was doing by teasing her that way.


	21. Interlude: Deliberate

Liz rapped on Taylor's door in the middle of the day, hoping she could catch the blonde between her own set of meetings. It was amazing how much more difficult it was to coordinate during actual working hours. She saw that Taylor was on the phone, but stuck her head in, hoping she was catching her at the end of a conversation.

Looking up, Taylor waved Liz in, then held up a finger to indicate that it would only be a minute. "I'll have the paperwork drawn up and send it over first thing tomorrow. Thank you, Rick. Just don't let your client get cold feet." She took a deep breath as she hung up and turned to Liz. "Sorry about that. What can I do for you?"

As she waited, Liz took a look around the office, noting a very elegant set of crystal glasses with a decanter and her own glasses sitting beside it. "The Peterson file...I need it back," she said.

"Right. It should be on this desk somewhere." Taylor lifted up a few different stacks of files, eventually finding it in the middle of a set of completely unrelated cases. "There you go." She held it out for Liz, taking the opportunity to briefly relax as her day looked like it was about to get even more hectic.

"Thanks..." Liz opened it and flipped through the contents, making sure everything was there. "Nice set of crystal," she said as she looked up and nodded to it. She half smirked as she turned on her heel. "Have a good day, Taylor."


	22. Caught Up

Taylor didn't know why she was nervous. She did things that were far more important and far more worthy of worry every day, and yet, walking toward Liz's office with the glasses in one hand and a bottle of scotch in the other was making her nervous. Rather than let it get to her, she just walked faster, knocking on Liz's door frame before she had time to turn and go back to her office. It had seemed like Liz was enjoying the game, but she didn't really know the other woman that well, and there was always the possibility that she was more annoyed than she was letting on.

"Yes?" Liz called before she looked up. When she saw Taylor she took her glasses off and rubbed her eyes for a moment. Glancing at the clock, she realized the evening had worn on more quickly than she anticipated. "Taylor, come in."

Taylor did as she was told and stepped into Liz's office, placing the glasses on Liz's desk with deliberation. "Thanks for letting me borrow them." Then she put the bottle next to them. "For your trouble." It was something she had noticed Liz drinking before.

"That's very kind of you..." Liz picked up the bottle and smiled as she looked at the label. When she put it down she refocused on Taylor before sauntering over to her and taking her chin, pulling her in for a kiss that held nothing but a firm promise. "But that won't make up for the length of time it took for you to get them back to me."

At the kiss, Taylor melted into Liz, but she shrugged at Liz's words. "Who says I intended it to?" She leaned in, pressing her body more firmly into Liz's, ducking her head down to press against Liz's cheek, and feeling far more vulnerable than she realized. Earlier that day, she had needed Abbie's input on an old case and if she thought that enough time had passed for Abbie to get over their fight, she had been wrong. At that moment, she didn't even know if she could call Abbie her friend, and realizing that had hurt more than the original fight.

"Are you finished for the evening?" If Taylor wasn't, Liz was going to make her wait, just as she did then when she stepped back.

Taylor sighed in frustration as Liz stepped away. She wanted to catch Liz's hips in her hands and pull her back, or she wanted to step closer again, forcing Liz back against her desk, but she did neither. "Yeah. I'm done." She pushed a lose strand of hair back behind her ear, just needing to move in some way.

"Good. I'm sure I will be soon." Liz rounded her desk and sat back down, putting her glasses back on. "You can kneel there," she said, pointing to a corner that was just out of view of anyone walking by in the hallway. "Hands behind your back."

"Right," Taylor muttered. She should have expected as much. Maybe she had, and that was why she was so nervous. Really, all she wanted that night was for Liz to take her home and fuck her, but it didn't look like that was going to happen. She sank to her knees and hoped that no one else needed to talk to Liz that night. She was took preoccupied to even come up with a retort.

It was a temptation, Liz thought as she looked up from time to time to see Taylor there, not to simply have the blonde crawl under her desk. But something told Liz that she had gotten a little too old for those sorts of games, and there was only so much she cared to push at the office. Finally, she began to pack her things, going over to Taylor and running her fingers through her hair. "Let's go."

Taylor sighed in relief as she stood. "I need to go get my briefcase." Perhaps it was something she should have mentioned earlier, but she hadn't thought about it.

"You can get it in the morning," Liz replied. She turned her lights off and shut her door with no intention of waiting for Taylor if she chose not to leave with her right then.

Fuck the briefcase. "Of course I can." Taylor shook her head as she followed Liz to the elevator.

The ride home was much as it had been the last time they had taken it. Liz kept a firm hand on Taylor's thigh until they got out. And once inside, she wasted no time in pulling Taylor into a firm kiss.

Taylor managed to control herself a bit better with that kiss, kneeling in Liz's office and the cab ride giving her enough time to regain her composure, though the result still felt uncomfortably fragile. She pulled away, stepping out of her shoes as she did. "I swear to God, if you send me home like you did last time, I'm never speaking to you again."

"I've no intention of sending you home," Liz replied, chuckling softly. "But I'm going to punish you for the presumption anyway. Upstairs, now."

The blonde started climbing the stairs, a small smile on her lips. "I should probably quit before you find anything else to punish me for." She stepped into Liz's bedroom and started unbuttoning her blazer.

"Probably." Before Taylor could finish, Liz grabbed her wrist and pulled her over to the bed and over her knees. She knew she couldn't physically overpower the woman, but she was hoping for the element of surprise. Once she had her there, Liz ran her hand up the blonde's leg, pushing her skirt up.

"Oh." Taylor practically purred, surprisingly herself with the strength of her response. She certainly didn't try to get up or get away. "I'm not good at quitting." She pushed against Liz's hand, already anticipating the first blow.

Liz pulled Taylor's panties down and pressed two fingers inside of the blonde, smiling to feel how wet she was. She pumped them lightly several times before pulling out and bringing her hand down for the first blow as her response to that. Taylor's moan was immediate, the pain barely registering as such. She was intensely aroused and already aching for Liz to touch her again. She kept pushing her ass up, welcoming the spanking, inviting Liz to continue.

"Please don't stop. Please," she gasped as Liz hit her again.

The reaction wasn't what Liz had expected, but she attributed that to her now seemingly regular little encounters with Alex, who wasn't fond of the punishment in the least. Still, Liz indulged Taylor, continuing and quite pleased at the way the blonde's skin reddened beautifully. When she stopped, she ran her fingertips lightly over the marks. "That will do, I think," she said, voice thick with her own arousal.

"Oh God," Taylor shivered under Liz's fingertips. She wanted to sink to the floor, but Liz's hands kept her in place.

Liz began to touch her lightly, sighing at just how wet Taylor had become during the punishment. "I think you might have enjoyed that too much," she said as she circled Taylor's clit with her fingertips. Taylor could only moan insensibly as Liz touched her. At this rate, she would come within moments, and all of her self-control to pull away, to draw it out, was gone. She pushed into Liz's fingers, thinking _please_ but unable to find enough coordination to be able to actually say it.

When Taylor pushed, Liz pulled her fingers away and gently nudged Taylor to the floor. She could see that the blonde was dizzy with desire, and Liz wanted to continue until she completely broke from it. "You may thank me now."

Taylor grabbed onto Liz's leg in an effort not to fall over, wrapping her hands around Liz's calf and pressing her lips again the outside of Liz's thigh. "Thank you." She closed her eyes and tried not to question her reaction as she pulled herself together enough to slide between Liz's legs. She was light headed with want and she had to dig her fingers into Liz's thighs to stay upright as she kissed up them, more thank you's punctuating her movements.

"Good," Liz said softly as she ran her fingers through Taylor's hair. She shifted long enough to push her own panties to the floor. "Good girl, Taylor."

The praise made Taylor whimper as she pushed her face between Liz's legs and started to lick her. She was still clinging to Liz's legs, hoping that Liz wouldn't insist that she put her hands behind her back as that would surely lead to her falling over. She wanted desperately for Liz to come, almost as desperately as she wanted to come herself, and with each swipe of her tongue against Liz, she could almost feel it on her own clit.

Closing her eyes, Liz shuddered lightly, as Taylor's eagerness was apparent in her touch. She let herself react, enjoying the feel of the blonde's hands, the sounds of her muffled whimpers. Liz saw little need to prolong the moment for herself, and soon, she was coming silently, her fingers tight in Taylor's hair.

Taylor tried to mimic Liz's calm, resting her cheek against the inside of Liz's thigh. "Thank you," she murmured again, finally letting her hands drop to her sided. She was still highly aroused, but at some point while she was licking Liz, she had become content to stay in that state for as long as Liz wished her to.

Once Liz had regained her calm fully, she stood and finished undressing, then she coaxed Taylor up and did the same with her, taking her time with the blonde's clothing. "On the bed," she said calmly as she went to her closet.

Taylor climbed into the bed, but she didn't lie down, preferring instead to sit up and wrap her arms around her knees as she waited. Uncomfortable thoughts were starting to creep in and she pressed her forehead down against her knees in an effort to keep them at bay.

Liz returned, a strap on firmly harnessed to her hips. She quickly took Taylor's wrists, cuffing them, as well as her ankles. And Liz kissed the blonde as she carefully pushed her back, pausing to kiss her softly before hooking the cuffs to tethers that had been carefully hidden along the bed. For a moment, she took pause to run her palms down Taylor's sides.

"Liz..." Taylor's eyes were wide as she shifted in the restraints, trying not to panic. Liz's touch was soothing and the strap-on held a great deal of promise, but she couldn't force away the ball of fear that had taken over her stomach once Liz had tied her up. She tried to reach for Liz, needing further reassurance, but the tethers pulled her up short.

"Shh," Liz soothed. She ran her fingers through Taylor's hair once more, settling on top of the blonde as she kissed her jaw and neck intently. She ran her palm up the blonde's side and began to fondle one of her nipples lightly.

"Please," Taylor whispered, her fear only temporarily assuaged. She felt completely exposed as she begged for something that she couldn't quite name.

Liz nodded as she slowly pushed the dildo into Taylor, moaning softly at just how compliant the blonde was. Taylor arched her hips up to meet Liz. She closed her eyes and tried to ignore everything else, just focusing on the feeling of Liz inside of her. Her arousal was pushing back the fear and making it easier to forget.

"That's it," Liz whispered as she continued. She held herself up on her hands, enjoying the sight of Taylor prone, but she could tell that the blonde was not entirely calm. But she didn't stop, instead continuing slowly, using her voice to soothe the blonde. "That's it, Taylor; it's alright." She shifted so that she could stroke the blonde's side, finally situating herself so she could touch the blonde's clit.

Taylor couldn't hold back anymore and she shuddered as she came, once again trying to wrap her arms around Liz. The force with which they snapped back to the bed made her eyes fly open. She could feel her breath getting short and her arms started shaking with the effort of just staying still. If she started pulling on the tethers, it would only make her panic more and she realized then that she and Liz had never discussed safewords. "Liz, untie me. Please. I need you to untie me."

Quickly, Liz pulled out and released the catches keeping the tethers secured to Taylor's wrists, repeating the motion with her ankles. She did not immediately pull the blonde in her arms, fearing that that might cause more harm. She quickly removed the harness around her hips and sat back down. "I'm here..." she said cautiously.

Taylor nodded, but for a long time she didn't move. When she did, it was to unbuckled the cuffs from her wrists and toss them aside as if they burned her hands. She slowly sat up, running her hands through her hair and carefully removing the pins that kept it up. Only once it was down did she look at Liz. "I'm sorry. I should have told you." But they hadn't really stopped long enough to talk about any of it.

"I should have been more careful," Liz replied. She wasn't sure what Taylor should have told her, but she knew better than to have done something like that without asking for a safeword. It seemed that her time outside of a more formal setting was wearing on her judgment. She got up and pulled on a bathrobe and found a short, day robe for Taylor. "Why don't I pour you a drink?"

Taylor got out of bed and pulled the robe on, looking down at the restraints on her ankles with much more objectivity than the ones on her wrists had inspired. "Yeah. A drink would be good." She wasn't sure if she was supposed to follow Liz back downstairs or not, so she lingered at the door to the bedroom.

"Wherever you'll be comfortable," Liz said, putting a soft hand on Taylor's shoulder before turning down the stairs.

Taylor followed Liz downstairs and curled up at the end of her couch as she watched Liz pour them both drinks. "It's 'ocean', by the way. My safeword."

Liz nodded as she sat somewhere in the middle and offered Taylor a glass. "You'll have to forgive me; that was...incredibly dangerous of me."

Taylor shook her head. "You're forgiven. I'm just... not very good at being tied up." She sipped her drinking, caring more for the way it burned rather than the way it tasted.

"Dare I ask?" Liz wouldn't push if it wasn't something Taylor cared to talk about. But she had never intended for their night to end in an episode like this.

"Hazing, of the kind that officially doesn't happen." she shook her head and left it at that, preferring not to talk about the details. "I wasn't raped, but the experience was still terrifying."

Liz nodded gravely as she put a comforting hand on Taylor's knee. "I'm sorry." Anything she might have experienced in her early years at the DA's office couldn't compare, she knew. "That won't happen again should we find ourselves here again."

"Thank you." Taylor nodded and finally let herself relax slightly, leaning into Liz and resting her temple on Liz's shoulder, taking some comfort from the contact.

Sighing softly, Liz took another sip of her drink. With the scene ending that way, she found herself more tired than anything else. She wasn't so young as she used to be. "Why don't you go upstairs and take a shower... I'll put clean sheets on the extra bed for you."

"Thank you. That sounds... nice." Taylor quickly finished her drink and stood, heading for the stairs and a hot shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find out more about Taylor's past and present. [Bookends](http://archiveofourown.org/works/92814) (NC-17)


	23. Conflict

When Alex stepped out of her office, she was almost surprised to see that the office was as busy as it was; rarely a day went by when she was uninterrupted for a long period of time during usual business hours. She thought it was later. As she neared the break room, one of her colleagues rounded the corner and shook his head. "If you're looking for coffee, you're out of luck." Alex frowned. All she wanted was one cup, and running out for it wasn't worth it. She raised her mug and sighed. "Thanks, Tom," she called to his receding back as she turned for the elevators. There had to be coffee on at least one of the floors, and without thinking, she headed up to the slightly larger, a little more well stocked kitchen on Abbie's floor. As she approached, she saw two secretaries, one she recognized from narcotics and the other from homicide leaving the kitchen; Alex didn't think much of the fact that when she nodded politely, their conversation became a little more hushed than necessary; an empty kitchen was always a place to gossip, and she was just as guilty of it as anyone else. But she wanted coffee, and from their steaming cups, she knew this was the place to get it. When she stepped inside, however, she was almost startled to see a familiar back, familiar ponytail slightly bent over a cup, swirling a stirrer. "Abbie..."

Abbie recognized the voice immediately, thinking her timing was impeccable. The brunette certainly didn't like having to hear about her own personal life from office gossip. She turned around and gave Alex a glare which was only partly deserved, but her mood was already poor that week, "Alex." She tossed the stirrer into the trash, "If you're looking for Taylor, Narcotics is two floors down, and if you're looking for coffee," she glanced at the now empty pot, "we're fresh out."

The force of the glare nearly pushed Alex back a step, but her surprise at it kept her from moving. It was true that she and Abbie hadn't seen much of each other since Abbie and Taylor got into whatever they got into. And it was true that when they did see each other, Abbie wasn't in the best of moods or even slightly conversational. But none of that had been directed toward Alex. She had no idea what had changed. "I...okay. I wouldn't be looking for Taylor," she finally stammered out or lack of something better to say.

"Sure." Abbie crossed the room, but turned back at the doorway, "Alex, if you've got something to say to me, just say it. It's none of your business what happens between Taylor and I, but if you must know the answer now is absolutely nothing."

Alex's face fell as she put together the hushed voices as she came into the room and who they belonged to. She ran her fingers through her hair and quickly followed Abbie out, keeping her voice down. There were absolutely no secrets in the office, and her mind was racing, trying to discern what the secretary could and couldn't have heard. "Abbie, it wasn't like that. Please...let me explain..."

Abbie let Alex trail after her down the hall, and didn't stop the blond from following her into her office. She closed the door and sat back at her desk before looking at Alex again, "I'm waiting."

Something in the tone, in the look made Alex's stomach drop. But she couldn't completely abandon any sense of pride she had left when it came to Abbie. "You've been...preoccupied and distant, and I know you and Taylor..." She swallowed and licked her lips as she stepped nearer to the desk. "I thought she might have some insight into what was going on. You obviously didn't want to talk about it. I had no intention of...prying."

The brunette raised an eyebrow at Alex's rushed explanation, "Not prying?" She crossed her legs, looking the blond over. Abbie knew, under her anger, that Alex was probably right, that she had been distant since Taylor left her apartment that morning, but she was dealing with it in her own way. "Don't patronize me Alex, and try to have the decency to just ask me directly."

"Abbie, anything I've tried to ask you directly in the past two weeks has been met with a glare or a grunt. If you can't tell me whether you want coffee or not, I'm not going to try to sit down and get into your personal life with you," she replied, putting her hands on her hips. Alex hadn't meant to snap, but it happened. And she hadn't meant for the argument with Taylor to turn into as much. She was getting the impression that she couldn't win.

Abbie's fingers tightened around her coffee mug, and her glare hardened again. Her anger at Taylor, and herself over it, had been fading, but Alex's ongoing tirade was igniting it again, "I'm not talking with you when you're like this, not here. I have work to do." She put down the coffee, and stood maybe a little too quickly, going to open the door, "Go back downstairs Alex."

"Excuse me?" Alex raised one of her eyebrows and swiveled slightly to follow Abbie with her eyes. But she didn't budge, dangling her mug from her fingers as she crossed her arms. "I don't take orders from you, Abbie."

The response was too practiced, and Abbie caught it, "I don't care who you take orders from Alex. But this is my office, and I'm asking you to leave."

Alex paused, unmoving for another long moment. She walked to the door and turned to Abbie, standing a little too close--and in standing a little too close, trying to stop her breath from catching unexpectedly and irrationally. "I'll be in my office, but I doubt I'll be expecting you; it hardly seems that you want to talk about any of this rationally."

The moment was charged, and Abbie noted how Alex's skin was starting to color with more than anger, and something in her wanted to dodge the comment entirely. She didn't lean away, or open the door, "If you're gonna kiss me, get on with it." It was almost a challenge, and Abbie kept her stare on the blond intently.

Without even bothering to look into the hallway, to see who might be around to watch, to catch a glimpse, Alex grabbed Abbie and pulled her into a hard kiss. She took her time about it though, holding Abbie tightly against her and almost forgetting where they were and the image she had promised herself that she would maintain.

Abbie let the kiss continue for a moment before pushing Alex away, though not forcefully. "Alex...I have court in an hour." It was good to know the blond's feelings hadn't faded, nor for that matter, had hers, but it wasn't really the time or place. She stepped aside, and opened the door to the hall, "Drinks soon?" Abbie wasn't over Alex's assumptions, but her anger was fading.

"Yeah..." Alex ran her fingers through her hair, feeling dazed. She wanted to be angry that Abbie could move from her anger to the congenial request so quickly, but she just couldn't manage it with her lips still tingling as they were. "Yeah, just...let me know." She licked her lips, staring at Abbie still, wishing that soon would involve that night and drinks would involve going back to her place. That was half the reason she had gone to Taylor anyway--a stupid attempt to find out why her increasingly less random nights with Abbie were getting less frequent.

"Sure." Abbie's voice was softer, and she quickly kissed Alex's cheek before turning back to her office. The blonde's expression was almost good enough to make Abbie want to forgive her.

Alex stared for a moment at Abbie sitting back down to her desk, and then she turned on her heel, deciding that maybe she needed to go out for coffee after all.


	24. Lessons

Alex lingered in the hallway near Liz's office, feeling absolutely like a teenager afraid to ask her parents if she could borrow the car. When it came to Liz, she didn't ask. She acted out, and Liz came to her, forced her without really forcing anything, and Alex walked away from those nights feeling better. She wasn't even sure how to ask or what, beyond the physical, she was really asking for. But even if she had been acting out in her workaholic adult temper tantrums, Liz had not said a think. So she finally stopped pacing and went to knock on the blonde's door.

"Come in." Liz kept writing, making whoever was now standing in her office wait until she had finished her thought, then she looked up. "Alex," she said as she took off her glasses, "what can I do for you tonight?"

"I offered the plea to Edmundson; he refused...against his lawyer's advice." She crossed her arms, not bothering to hide her exasperation, as she knew Liz would most likely share it. It was easy to let the work matters roll off of her tongue. Harder, was digging to find the words for the things that nagged at the back of her mind. "We're headed for a trial."

"Well, you'd better make damned sure he ends up behind bars then." Liz rubbed the bridge of her nose. "That had to have happened at least 2 hours ago and you could have put it in an email. Stop wasting my time and tell me why you're really here."

That was entirely the response Alex had known she would get, and she wasn't as prepared as she thought she had been to make the next step. She paused, flexing her fingers at her sides. "I want to come home with you tonight."

Not expecting Alex to be so forthright, Liz sat back in chair and looked her over, as if something in Alex's posture might give away the real reason for the request. "You want to come home with me." Liz steepled her fingers, still staring. "What makes you think that I'm interested, or that I even have the time for that tonight?"

Alex was struck by the words, and she found herself bristling. She could see any reason why, and certainly hadn't any precedent to think that Liz might not, at any time, be interested. "You've made the time before," she quipped.

"Well, I'm not making time tonight. I have plans, and I have work to finish." That wasn't how their relationship worked and it wasn't how Liz wanted it to work. She wouldn't allow Alex to start thinking that she had the right to make demands of her time whenever it suited her. "I am, however, free Thursday night, if you're still interested. You can come by my house."

"Of course." The color rose in Alex's cheeks as she tried to find adequate words, in the end simply deciding to let that battle go. she stood for another moment, her original intent still bubbling, making her linger for want of something to do next. "Excuse me, then. Goodnight," she said finally as she turned on her heel.

That Thursday, Alex worked just as late as usual, but she was tempted to stay, to simply make Liz wait and see if she would show up. But she wanted to show up, needed to show up, despite the fact that she was still close to livid over the way Liz had treated her two days before. She packed her things, taking her time even though her mind was rushing. When she left, she took the time to get coffee and made a pretense of savoring it. And by the time she was ringing Liz's bell, she wished she'd shown up two hours before.

Liz opened the door, but she didn't let Alex in. "Playing games isn't polite when you're the one asking for something." She crossed her arms and pursed her lips. "In case you didn't get the message the first time, my time is valuable and you don't get to dictate how I spend it."

Alex pushed a strand of hair behind her ears, tilting her head slightly as a few strands escaped and fell against her cheek. "I was working. And you didn't give me a specific time to arrive." She didn't go so far as to push past Liz into the blonde's own house, but Alex did take a step closer.

"There's a corner store two blocks down. I need white vinegar." She took Alex's briefcase from her and held out a twenty dollar bill. "Go and pick some up for me." She was sure that whatever Alex wanted from her that night, it was much more direct than running errands.

As she took the bill, Alex gaped. "I'm not your errand girl," she replied, even as she was backing up, turning to go down the steps. She wasn't sure what she had done to piss Liz off, but this wasn't what she wanted. It wasn't what she needed

Liz spent a few seconds watching Alex walk away before she turned back inside and closed the door behind herself, though she left it unlocked. She hadn't told Alex that she could come in once she returned, and she wondered if Alex would assume. She would see. Liz put Alex's briefcase down by the door and went into the kitchen to wait.

When Alex returned, she had three different brands of vinegar in a bag, and she turned it in the crook of her arm as she tried the door and and stepped inside. At first, she was cautious, simply quietly looking around before she closed the door behind her. But it was hardly as if Liz was standing and waiting, and she resented having been sent out so rudely. So, Alex sauntered into the kitchen and put the bag on the counter. "I didn't know which kind you wanted."

"As you're going to be using it to clean my kitchen, it doesn't really matter to me." Liz nodded to a bucket full of sponges and rags and a pair of rubber gloves. Alex clearly needed to learn some humility and Liz was determined to teach it to her.

"Excuse me?" Alex blurted, crossing her arms and her neck and face turned red. She looked for words but held them in, something forcing them back for fear that Liz would simply just shut down and throw her out. She looked at the bucket and shook her head, standing a little taller.

"Get undressed Alex." Liz refused to back down. "Or you can leave and we can try this again another night. Though don't think that the task will change in the meantime."

She blinked, processing each word. Alex hadn't cleaned a kitchen in her life, not even in college, and she wasn't thrilled about the prospect of doing it and doing it naked. But as if compelled by Liz's tone, alone, she started to take her clothes off, taking her time about folding them.

Liz simply watched, letting Alex take her time now that she had resigned herself to doing the task. It was hardly as if it was a terrible punishment, and if Alex had bothered to look around, she would have seen that Liz's kitchen wasn't exactly dirty. The counters wouldn't suffer from being needlessly wiped down though. "Good," she nodded as Alex finished folding the last of her clothing.

For a moment, Alex stood there, glancing from the bottles of vinegar to the bucket and back to Liz. She was utterly at a loss as to how the three things fit together.

"What are you waiting for?" Liz put her hands on her hips.

Alex pursed her lips as she took a bottle of vinegar and twisted off the cap. She hesitated before pouring a large amount into the bucket, judging that it would be enough for whatever it was supposed to do. She hesitated again, longer this time as she put on the gloves and dipped her hands into the water. She could feel Liz's eyes on her and her cheeks growing hot because of it.

"Good," Liz said again, watching Alex start to wipe off the counters for a minute before turning toward the rest of the house. "I'll be in my study when you're finished."

Finished, Alex decided, involved wiping down the counters, as well as the sink and stovetop. If Liz wanted the floors to be cleaned, she was simply going to have to find someone else. In doing the work, Alex realized that she had become so focused on it that she hadn't thought of Abbie, but she dismissed that as she rinsed the bucket and rags and headed up to Liz's study.

Liz looked up when Alex came in. "I'm not going to be disappointed if I go back downstairs and check your work, am I?"

"No." Alex pursed her lips and crossed her arms. In truth, she had no idea.

That was enough reassurance for Liz and she nodded as she stood, taking in Alex's flushed skin and still pink cheeks. "Go turn on the shower and wait for me in the bathroom."

At least, Alex thought, the request was not as absolutely absurd as the ones that had preceded it. She went to Liz's bedroom, passing directly through and into the bathroom, where she started the water in the shower. She knew she should kneel. Alex had been doing this long enough with Liz to realize what was expected of her. But she didn't want to completely comply that night. It wasn't what she needed.

Liz packed up the files that she would need at work the next day and walked into the bathroom, expecting Alex to be kneeling there, but not entirely surprised to see that she wasn't. She closed the door and leaned against it, breathing in the warm, humid air. She had been planning to get into the shower with Alex, but Alex's rebellion changed her mind. "You very much want me to bend you over something and paddle you, don't you?" She stepped over to the shower and turned the temperature down until it was uncomfortably cold.

Alex's breath caught in her throat, but she didn't answer, looking at Liz defiantly instead. She wasn't sure if that's what she wanted, if that's what she couldn't ask for. But she had gotten used to anticipating the pain, just as she had gotten used to coping with it afterwards.

"If you want something, it isn't much of a punishment, is it?" Liz took Alex's chin in her fingers and held her there. "If you want to be beaten, I'll happily oblige you, but each of your little temper tantrums is only going to earn you further punishments, and none of them are going to be what you want. I have been doing this for a very long time and I can be very creative. I was looking forward to joining you in that shower, just as I was looking forward to making you dinner earlier, but I am not so attached to my own desires as to reward you for your bad behavior. Now, get in the shower and bathe. I'll let you get out when I think you've learned your lesson."

At the treatment, Alex felt her stomach clench. She wanted those things--Liz in the shower, dinner--but she didn't want them so much as she wanted to feel, to not think. When she stepped into the shower, she gasped at the cool pinpricks of water on her skin. She glanced to Liz, blushing in spite of herself, and she took a bar of soap, trying to content herself with bathing quickly. Liz impassively watched Alex rub the soap over her skin, trying to move quickly. "Your hair as well." She turned on the heated towel bar, anticipating just how cold Alex was going to be by the time she finally let the younger woman out of the shower. She wanted the towel to be just a bit too hot to be comfortable.

As soon as she shot Liz a glare, Alex knew she only added more time for herself under the cold water. She washed her hair, shampooing it twice as she normally did and hoping that Liz would realize that she knew this was a punishment and did not enjoy it. When she finished, she began to shiver as she conditioned the ends.

Once Alex finished with her hair, Liz checked her watch. "Five more minutes." Liz felt the towel and waited. "Are you enjoying your night so far?"

"I..." Alex put her hand on the shower door and shivered almost violently. No, she wasn't enjoying her night. But it occurred to her that enjoyment wasn't what she had been thinking when she told Liz she wanted to be there. What she was thinking, she still couldn't force into words. "No."

"If you knew what I was going to make you do, would you have come?" Liz didn't really intend to keep Alex in the shower for the full five minutes, but she would get her answer first.

After a long pause, Alex lowered her eyes, watching the water as it fell on the tile and swirled down the drain. "Yes," she said quietly. Even if she had known, the yearning for this would have been there, the need for some sort of order.

Liz nodded and picked up the towel, holding it open for Alex, though it was hot enough to make it uncomfortable. "You can get out now."

A sigh of relief escaped Alex's lips, and she turned off the water. When Liz wrapped the towel around, her, however, she yelped and tried to move away.

Liz tightened her arms around Alex and held her in place. The cloth would quickly lose its heat in the face of the cold water, and now that the punishment was over, she wanted to give Alex a bit of respite.

Finally, Alex stopped shivering, and her skin settled to feeling pleasantly warm. Still, she pressed against Liz, eyes closed. "I can't stop thinking about her," she whispered, as if to herself.

"Who?" Liz grabbed a second towel started drying Alex off as best she could while keeping the other woman in her arms. She squeezed her hair dry, pulling at it a little harder than necessary, giving Alex a slight reward for finally speaking about what was bothering her.

"I..." Alex pressed into the firm touch, but she shook her head as if she had no idea what Liz was talking about. She didn't realize what she had really said, that she had let on so quickly or that she had even acknowledged to herself that it was bothering her.

"Who can't you stop thinking about?" Liz guided Alex into the bedroom, tossing the wet towels onto the counter behind her. She led her to the bed and pushed Alex's torso down, bending her over. She stayed there, rubbing Alex's lower back. "I'm not going to start until you start talking to me."

Alex shuddered under the touch and began to squirm. The punishment, she realized, was her words. And she wanted the release, the almost euphoric release of the pain that would serve as her reward. "Abbie," she said quietly after a long pause

"So why are you here instead of with her?" Liz moved away and pulled a paddle from her closet, listening for an answer as she rested it against Alex's ass.

It seemed like it should have been obvious, and Alex groped for the words as she squirmed against the paddle, almost willing Liz to swing it. "I don't know," she breathed, knowing the answer wasn't good enough.

Liz swatted Alex's ass with the paddle. "You can do better than that."

"I don't know," Alex retorted more vehemently. It was, at least, partly true. She had no idea if the fight that Abbe and Taylor might have had had any bearing on Abbie's mood. She did, however, know that her own actions--the argument with Taylor that had gotten back to Abbie--must have somehow caused the distance. "She's distant...she's...we weren't anything. She doesn't owe me anything."

Liz shook her head, but she kept paddling Alex, finally giving her what she wanted. "What's the problem then?"

With each stroke, Alex drew in a sharp breath even as she pressed up to meet the paddle. She curled her hands into fists, balling the coverlet in them. "I...want...I want her," she managed.

"So, again, why are you here?" Liz kept her rhythm steady, allowing Alex the comfort of it.

"I need it...I needed this..." Alex couldn't explain it. She couldn't give Liz any answers beyond that. She thought it would clear her head, make her forget anything but the most casual encounters with Abbie altogether.

Liz didn't ask anymore questions, instead focusing on the paddling, watching Alex lean into it. And finally she came to a stop, putting the paddle away and running her hands over Alex's ass. Alex whimpered at the gentle touch, wincing from the pricks of pain it caused. Tears were trickling down her cheeks, but she ignored them, pressing back into Liz, closing her eyes.

"Good." Liz pressed her fingers between Alex's legs, slowly pushing them into her, curving them downward. She scraped the nails of her other hand over Alex's ass.

"Oh, God..." Alex moaned, feeling that her release was not too far away. Her tension began to melt under Liz's fingertips, and her mental barriers began to break down. "I want her...but," she gasped, "but I can't lose sight of...mmm...everything else."

Liz found that she didn't really care what 'everything else' might be. With Alex, the answer seemed predictable. "Wanting Abbie is going to prevent you from running for governor, or senate, or whatever it is you're after?" She brushed her thumb over Alex's clit.

"Yes," Alex gasped, squirming. "Yes...yes..." She squeezed her eyes closed tightly, trying not to allow herself to want everything so desperately.

"You're going to be a very lonely governor one day." Liz shook her head and kept touching Alex. "You can come when you're ready."

Alex whimpered and tried to push the words away, focusing on the touch, instead. Moments later, she was coming, almost silently, almost still, but not quite, never quite soundless. She panted as she finished and opened her eyes. "We'll see," she said quietly.

Liz pulled away and looked over Alex. "One day I'm going to make you scream when you come. But it isn't going to be tonight." Liz swatted Alex's ass one last time. "Get dressed and go home. And maybe think about talking to Abbie about what it is that is or isn't going on between you."

The abruptness startled Alex, who was fully prepared to reciprocate, as was customary between them. She stood slowly and turned to Liz, merely nodding her thanks before going down to the kitchen to dress. She had gotten what she wanted, and while Liz's words resonated, she was already trying to bury them. Still, with her mind clearer, she knew that if she didn't speak to Abbie at some point, she would only be back underneath Liz's cold shower sooner rather than later.


	25. Essentials

For what seemed like the first time that year, the cool building seemed chilly next to being out on the sidewalk. Nora merely glanced around her office before picking up the pair of reading glasses she had forgotten the day before. Her brunch with Liz had been filling, but she was in no mood to sit in her office with her work. Her little terrace would do. As she was walking out, the offices half dark in the early Sunday afternoon, the noticed one light, and it didn't surprise her at all. As she directed her steps, Nora could see Abbie through the slatted blinds, and she shook her head at the curve of the brunette's back, bent over a pile of work. Abbie's computer was on, but a wisp of a smile came to Nora's face when she saw several books in a pile. She gently rapped on the door and leaned in. "It's a beautiful day out," she began quietly, "and I hear vitamin D is essential to your health."

It had been some time since she and Abbie had spoken--no had talked, really talked. And that was no great hardship; Nora let Abbie come to her if and when Abbie needed it. There were times when she felt she needed it just as much, but she was too quiet, too thoughtful to impose on the unspoken boundaries the two of them had set. But she had watched Abbie for the past few, taking notice even when she had not meant to, and she thought perhaps it was time for a gentle push.

Abbie glanced up at hearing the familiar voice. She hadn't really expected anyone to notice her working on a Sunday, but Nora was always a welcome interruption. Abbie would be the first to admit the woman generally knew her better than she did herself. The brunette glanced around her desk, and took off her glasses. "That's what I've heard." She smiled, and continued less jokingly, "and you're right." Abbie sat back, "I'm surprised to see you here today." Nora usually allowed herself at least one day off without fail, though Abbie had on occasion seen the telltale signs of work being quietly taken home.

Nora smiled and lifted up the pair of reading glasses, knowing they would be familiar to Abbie or anyone else who had been in and out of her office. She took the brunette's response as an invitation and stepped into the office, closing the door part way behind her. "You've been putting a lot of time in lately." More time, more than usual. Abbie was good at her job, and she did it with a passion that Nora respected, given their disagreements. But she did not think she was mistaken in seeing more than implied passion in Abbie's recent push; however, Nora kept those thoughts to herself, letting her words speak what Abbie wanted to hear in them.

"Yes, it seems crime is alive and well in New York. As they say, business is up." She smiled and shrugged, knowing her remark would be taken as she meant it. Still, Abbie knew Nora could read her well, and she lowered her voice a little, indicating sincerity, "And I guess I've just needed a bit of focus lately." After the fight with Taylor, and such a growing feeling of unknown territory with Alex, the office was starting to feel like the most relaxing part of her life, and in Abbie's opinion, that was saying something.

There had been some discussion at brunch, as there generally was, of the younger women that Liz and Nora knew well, but as usual Nora and Liz spoke little of specifics, neither caring to pry so much. But Nora mused privately that Abbie's mood might be reflective of one of her relationships--if that's what they were. She ran her fingertips lightly over the spine of one of the books. "Sometimes," she began, "focus becomes any easy way to hide." She looked back up to Abbie as she finished. It was not an accusation, merely an observation, reminiscence, perhaps.

Abbie sighed, fingers quietly clicking a few times on her computer, saving her work. Nora was right, of course. "It really is, isn't it." She glanced back at the older woman, "and where are you off to on this nice day then?" Abbie wasn't really angling for an invitation, but wouldn't turn down on if it were forthcoming.

"Home," Nora replied simply, a smile on her lips. "Why don't you come with me...I'm sure there's enough sunlight on my patio to share." And her work was not so precious that it couldn't wait a few hours if Abbie needed them.

The brunette smiled, and tried to wait a moment, as if considering what other plans she might have before answering. It didn't work, and she flipped a file shut as she nodded, "That sounds nice, thank you." They were past making excuses, tangential reasons for time together, and Abbie picked up her things. "It feels like its been a long week, and another one is about to start."

"They all began to blur together after a while, I'm afraid," Nora said, chuckling lightly as the led Abbie out. She let the brunette make idle small talk and engaged, enjoying any chance to talk to Abbie outside of the usually heavy and heated conversations in her office. And when they lapsed into silence part way to her home, she didn't mind; the silence was still full, and it let her know that her instincts had been right in some way. When they arrived, she led Abbie directly out to the little terrace, which housed a small table and chairs and plants that were cultivated but a little wild. "Let me make some tea," Nora said quietly, not giving Abbie the option to refuse.

Abbie nodded as Nora left, and found herself sighing as the sun started to warm her. She didn't realize it until then, but she'd been cold all day. The noises of the city seemed somehow muted, though they were ever present, and she started to relax, pulling her long hair over a shoulder, and running her fingers through it as she waited.

When she returned, Nora paused for a moment at the door, watching Abbie through the glass, seeing some of the tension melt away. The moment was almost too picturesque to be truly real, but she reminded herself that such moments merely punctuated the days and weeks as they began to blur too indistinctly. She was careful, quiet in her steps as she went out, disturbing Abbie still so that the brunette sat up a little as Nora placed a steaming cup of tea--complete with sugar cubes on the saucer--in front of Abbie. "I hope you won't insult me by asking for ice," she said, smiling as she sat.

Abbie smiled, "Wouldn't dream of it." She picked up the cup, rolling it between her hands and letting the vapor rise. Nora sat, and Abbie looked out over the city, considering what she wanted to say, "You always know when I need to get away." She took a small sip, "And somehow you're always there to take me." The brunette knew Nora would read the veiled thanks well enough.

Nora nodded thoughtfully and let another silence fall between them. She fingered her saucer as she watched the steam rise, and then she finally turned to Abbie. "Are you going to tell me what's on your mind?" It was a soft question, and Nora was not insisting that Abbie should. if her gentle prodding failed, she would leave Abbie to her thoughts, to her focus.

She sighed, though more out of relief than defeat. "I....I had a bit of a fight with Taylor. Not just a normal fight, I'm not sure this one will blow over this time." Just saying it made Abbie wonder about herself, about how hurt she sounded, "She...surprised me I guess, and I couldn't manage it well." The brunette finally looked over at Nora, "And then there's how badly I've been treating Alex. Maybe I just don't want to risk it right now."

The particulars of the nature of Taylor and Abbie's relationship were known in detail only to them, but Nora had her guesses--guesses she kept to herself. But there was something telling in Abbie's tone, and Nora found the brunette's dark eyes searching for answers that Nora thought she might not have known she wanted. "You're afraid there's nothing to be salvaged with Taylor." She focused on that, knowing that Abbie valued her friendships, no matter how volatile.

"Yes I...." She faltered for a moment, "I'm scared I saw too much, I don't know, more than I could handle and still think of her the same way." Abbie shook her head, trying to clear it, "I feel selfish for it Nora. For punishing her for not keeping up my vision of her." She took a breath, "I'm sorry, I'm not making much sense."

"Abbie..." Nora rested her hand on the brunette's, squeezing it lightly. A small, sad smile came to her face as she shook her head. Nora was not one to lament her lost youth, the misspent moments, but Abbie's moment, the flash of being so unsure, stirred old memories. "We're all a little selfish in our ideals," she replied finally. "Sometimes you've got to simply sit, wait until you outgrow them." Nora withdrew her hand and folded it with her other in her lap. Her tea was growing cold. "And if you don't..." She shook her head.

Abbie glanced over as Nora finished, subconsciously following the retreating touch. "What?" The word was quiet, almost as if by accident, but Abbie couldn't help it.

"You move on." There was a finality that hung in the words, and Nora looked up to Abbie, lifting her chin as she spoke. "No one wants to be told to give something time. Time is...too tedious for the young and too heavy for the rest of us." She shook her head, as if clearing away her words, but the chuckle that escaped her lips was flat. "But give it time, Abbie. Your thinking might change."

Even though it sometimes took her days to figure out all of the nuances in Nora's advice, it made sense at first brush as well, and she looked across at the older woman, smiling lightly. There was something settling in her candor, and Abbie knew her advice would be the same with or without the details. She set down her cup on the small table, and looked over the city again. It was so vast, and didn't generally help her clarity, "I will, and it may." The brunette looked at the ground for a moment, voice dropping slightly, "Nora? Will you take me inside now?" There would be more advice, but she could sense they both needed something quieter.

"Of course, Abbie." Nora stood and offered her hand, knowing that rest would work itself out, that once Abbie thought more about the situation with Taylor, things with Alex might become clearer. But she pushed that away as Abbie took her hand, following her wordlessly inside. "Come up stairs," she said softly, smiling back to the brunette. Abbie was ready for silence, for freedom from her own thoughts for an afternoon, and Nora's mind was full of half forgotten moments that could be soothed away for a while by her fingers in Abbie's dark hair.


	26. Coming to Terms

Alex hurried to catch the elevator doors before they closed, putting her briefcase between them to make them pop open again. She had been on the floor to catch the DA before she left for the night, but she would have been lying she said she hadn't hurried to finish her conversation and jogged in heels to the elevator because she caught a glimpse of Abbie headed that way. It had been more than a few days since they'd really had time to say anything but "hello" and "goodbye" and sometimes "No, thanks, I'm good on coffee." And Alex was slowly having to come to admit that that bothered her. She smiled at the brunette and pushed her fingers through her hair. "Thanks...sorry..." Alex cocked her head and found herself half smiling before she thought the better of it. "Done for the day?"

"God I hope so darlin' I can't stand the sight of this place any more tonight." If it hadn't already been a Friday, Abbie wasn't opposed to making it one.

"Come home with me, then," Alex said suddenly. She licked her lips as her words hit her, and then she shook her head. "I mean...if you'd like. I've..." She ran her fingers through her hair. "Puppies...I've got two puppies there, and I need to feed them before I can get a drink or..." And she knew she sounded like an utter mess, but the distance had left her too much time to think about it all.

Abbie couldn't help a small smile at Alex's manner, and put her hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Puppies. Right, priorities." She shook her head, "why don't I let you take me home, and then I'll even buy you a drink after." It had been a strange few weeks, and she thought she was ready to shake it off.

An easier smile came to Alex's face at Abbie's touch, even though the fact that it was so calming set her slightly on edge. Alex wasn't sure where she stood with Abbie--she never had been--but she found her mind drifting to it more and more lately. They were joined in the elevator by several other people calling it a day, and Alex let the conversation fall short. Once out of the building, where she felt like she could possibly try to breathe again, she hailed a cab and held the door for Abbie, sliding in herself afterwards. "It's been a long week...for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday," she said, shaking her head as she gave a tired laugh. The ride was short, and Alex found herself looking for her keys for half of it.

Abbie smiled and slid out of the cab after Alex as they arrived. She had only been to the other woman's apartment once or twice, but the place still impressed her each time. The elevator ride was longer than seemed normal, and she shifted a little closer to the blonde, but didn't reach for her yet.

As on edge as she was, Alex noticed the closeness, but it made her take a calming breath. She flashed Abbie a smile as the doors opened. It was soft, genuine, and it only faded a little when Alex concentrating on simply getting her key in the door. She led Abbie inside and to the kitchen where a gate was set up across the door. And before they could even see them, they heard the sounds of two puppies, wriggling o get out and get closer to whomever just came home. "Hi girl..." Alex said softly, slipping out of her shoes before stepping over the gate. "I brought a friend."

"They're adorable." Abbie followed, immediately crouching down to greet the puppies, the smaller ginger one immediately clamoring to try and sit in her lap. "What are their names?"

"I'm not sure yet..." Alex picked up the bigger of the two, stroking its white fur and snuggling it close as it pressed her pink nose into Alex's chest. She was smiling to see Abbie so immediately drawn to them. "I was waiting to see what their personalities would be like, but..." She chuckled lightly, "as you can see, that's not taking long to develop." She balanced the puppy int he crook of her elbow and took out two cans of food, making it squirm even more.

At the sound of the can being opened, the puppy abandoned Abbie, and went to circle, whining, around Alex's legs. Abbie stood back up and leaned against the counter, "You going to bring them to the office?" She smirked at the thought, "Might be a good intimidation tactic when they're grown up."

Alex smirked over her shoulder to Abbie, her tension beginning to melt rapidly without her realizing it. "We'll see how it goes after they get past the stage where they want to eat my files." She tossed her hair back as she mixed the food and put the puppies' dishes down, taking up their water bowl to refresh it. When she put it back down, she patted both of the dogs, expecting that they would ignore her in favor of their dinner. Then, she leaned against the counter, turning her attention to Abbie, appreciating the pleasantness of the knot that her presence twisted in Alex's stomach. "I...I've..." She shook her head and looked down. "It'll only be a few minutes.

"Until what? I'm in no rush Alex." Abbie smiled, enjoying the bit of uncertainty between them.

"Right..." She took a breath and ran her fingers down the front of her shirt, smoothing an imaginary wrinkle. "Why don't you just let me fix you a drink." Alex swallowed, hoping that didn't make this sound like what it had sounded like when she first gave the invitation. It was good to simply have Abbie there, to be away from work, out of a noisy bar. But it did force the thoughts her mind had been wandering to lately to the forefront of her mind.

Abbie chuckled, "I see how this is, you lure a girl home with you to see your puppies, then start getting her drunk." The brunette paused to let Alex start to protest, then cut her off, "Good plan, and it's working. I'll have whatever you are."

There was something about that drawl that made a line that would be ridiculous coming from anyone else utterly endearing when Abbie uttered it. As she passed Abbie to get her shaker, Alex chanced to touch her hip, squeezing it lightly. She reached around the brunette, finding the things she needed and let silence fall between them as she mixed the drinks. "Vodka martinis...in wine glasses." She handed one to Abbie and scoffed at herself. "My bar collection is a little lacking...and let's just say it's been a while since I've had time for the liquor store. Cheers."

The brunette raised her glass before taking a sip. The smaller of the puppies had finished its dinner, and was back whining for attention. Abbie bent down to pet her, alternating her attention between the puppy and Alex, "Everything alright?" Alex had looked even more stressed than usual the past few weeks, and Abbie wasn't one to dance around a question.

"Abbie, I..." Alex shook her head and let herself simply slide to the floor, leaning against the cabinets as she folded her legs underneath her. She wanted to laugh at herself, feeling like she was in college again--drinking the wrong drink out of the wrong glass while sitting on the floor, more nervous about a girl than she had ever been about anything. "I've missed seeing you..."

Abbie smiled, and moved over next to Alex, wrapping her arm around the woman. Things had been complicated to say the least, and she hadn't been behaving well since her falling out with Taylor. It had affected her more than she ever wanted to admit. "I...I'm sorry Alex...life's gotten away from me I think." The puppy crawled over their legs, and started sniffing around the kitchen floor, "I missed you too, I've just been sorting a few things out I think."

The blonde nodded thoughtfully, keeping a watchful eye on the dog. The white pup finished her dinner and met her sister halfway across the floor, redirecting her path, whether intentionally or not. "Me too..." There were so many things Alex was sure about, and that Abbie was such a force but not one of those things was overwhelming, especially considering the mindset Alex had worked so diligently to harden, to perfect. "It was fun...what we were doing, and I..." She shook her head, trying to find the words. Abbie's mood since whatever happened with Taylor happened hadn't escaped Alex, but she didn't dwell on it. She didn't know what they were, really, and she told herself that she didn't want to know. "I want to be able to bring you coffee...and not just as a pretext," she finished lamely.

"Pretext or not, I think I'd like that." Abbie smiled and kissed Alex's cheek. She couldn't quite tell the extent of the significance, but something was almost calming about Alex's suggestion of normalcy.

The quiet and immediately response surprised Alex, giving her visible pause, and she couldn't stop herself from letting out a relieved sigh. It was a step where Alex was used to leaps, but she felt like she was more balanced with it. She met Abbie's smile and leaned in, kissing her softly. "Great...then you can bring me a cup before I have to be in court tomorrow morning." She rested her forehead against the brunette, and draped her arm across Abbie's legs, surprised when she felt a wet nose pushing into her fingers and little paws trying to scramble up to join them.

The brunette laughed, "And where would you like it? In bed, or at the office?" She couldn't help herself, the humor too ingrained in her nature.

"We'll see," Alex murmured, smiling as she leaned in to kiss Abbie again, this time with more intent. As Alex pulled away, she chuckled at the now sleeping puppy on Abbie's lap and her sister coming up to join her. "But if these two have their way, you won't have to go far to make it..."


	27. Steps

Abbie put the phone down slowly, still staring at it as she rested her chin in her hand. She hadn't exactly applied for the position, but hadn't backed away when she had been asked about it. She supposed it was a promotion, technically speaking, but it was more than that.

She finally leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs. The office was mostly quiet, and she already felt a pang of nostalgia though it was quite premature. That she felt it at all, however, simply signaled that in her own way, she'd already made up her mind. There was a dim glow from down the hall that she could just see through her open doorway, and she stood up slowly and followed it.

Nora's office was warm, and the older woman was reading a casebook, looking every bit the erudite legal scholar that she truly was behind the temporary guise of her position. Abbie leaned quietly in the doorway, and eventually reached to knock on the open door.

"Abbie..." A smile came to Nora's face as she took her glasses off. All of Abbie's open cases, to her knowledge, were going well. And the look on the young woman's face did not indicate that this visit was going to be unpleasant, which, as an unfortunately effect of their positions both literally and figuratively, was often the case during regular business hours. "Come in."

Abbie stepped inside and sat, she supposed she might close the door, but few people were still around. It wouldn't be confidential for long anyway. She nodded at Nora's reading, "research?" The hint of a smile on the brunette's features wasn't really teasing, almost appreciative.

Nora chuckled as she ran her fingers gingerly over the open page. There was something grounding about the work--a thread that spanned her entire adult life, holding it together and reminding her of its progression. "It keeps me humble." She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms as she regarded Abbie thoughtfully. She didn't ask what Abbie needed. That would come.

Abbie folded her hands in her lap, "can I ask you something?" Of course she knew what the answer would be, but something about Nora made her want to ask the question.

"Of course...anything," Nora replied. She glanced to the open door, guessing that Abbie had left it that way for a reason.

She nodded, trying to find a place to start. "Do you know where you'll go next? After this year I mean."

"Oh, I..." Nora shook her head and smiled. It had certainly been on her mind, but she hadn't made her decision not to actually run for the office public. "I'm not sure yet. Between the two of us, I'd be just as happy to go back to teaching."

Abbie nodded again, deciding Nora must make an amazing professor. She considered, then just said what was on her mind, "I got an offer from the Justice Department."

Nora took a moment, trying to gauge just what that meant to Abbie. She wasn't sure what Abbie's aspirations were, but Nora knew that she was passionate, driven. She had no doubt that she would do well. "Abbie, that's wonderful." She smiled brightly, deciding that if Abbie needed more from her, it would come in its own time.

Abbie smiled a little, the offer was a compliment after all. "Thank you. I haven't accepted yet. It's not a typical AUSA position, I won't have my own cases like I do here." And that was one thing that was giving her pause, "it's working on an anti-drug task force, I think after the Russians...and," she grew quiet, shrugging slightly, hoping it wouldn't be too close to home.

Nora leaned forward and steepled her fingers thoughtfully. She now understood the added weight to the decision, and her heart went to Abbie. She knew all too well how the sting of something so painful remained, even with time. "You'd do well..."

Abbie glanced down at her folded hands, then back at Nora, "I hope so." And there it was, it had been that simple, and her mind was surprisingly content with the choice it had made. "I'm going to miss this though." She'd miss signing her name to closed cases, taking what little solace there was in the past tense.

As the air of the room changed, Nora took a breath. She smiled, smoothing front of her tunic as she stood. "And we'll miss you." She rounded her desk and offered her hand to Abbie.

Abbie smiled genuinely, but as she took Nora's hand she shook her head and pulled her into an embrace. As much as it was a simple moment between professionals, a simple handshake just wasn't appropriate. "Thank you Nora," Abbie whispered before stepping away.

"Let me know when it's official," Nora said after taking a moment, a simple nod to acknowledge Abbie's words. Her smile was quiet as she continued, "I hope I won't see your light on when I leave. You should celebrate." And she had no doubt that Abbie would, in whatever way she chose. But Nora knew that she would do so contentedly, and she hoped it would be with Alex. Abbie didn't need her for this.

Smiling, Abbie stepped toward the door. "You won't," and for once she was sure, "promise."


	28. Phone Tag

It felt like the first moment Alex had really had to take a breath the entire day, and just as she was about to sit down, one of the puppies bounded by the table, knocking over her glass of wine. She quickly curbed the urge to yell and just winced instead. Abbie called the dogs little monsters, and Alex was beginning to agree, save the 'little' part. Once she got it cleaned up--which went faster after she relegated the curious puppies and their curious tongues to her bedroom--she simply poured a fresh glass into a plastic cup and took a long sip before grabbing her phone. Abbie's number was at the bottom of her call list from a quick chat that morning, and she scrolled to it, tapping the phone against her chin before pressing send. When it started to ring, she let herself fall onto the sofa.

"Alex, hi! I was just going to call you." The doors of the hotel lobby slid open as Abbie walked in from the day's meetings. The week away had been inconvenient, but it was good she was there in person. "I've missed you, how was your day?"

"Long..." But Alex was smiling to hear Abbie's voice. It was always enthusiastic...whether that enthusiasm was for anger that she was nursing or some sort of relish was the thing that it took Alex a little longer to figure out over the phone. "And just when I was about to relax, one of the puppies decided to remind me that they miss you."

Abbie laughed quietly. "Did they now..." She could only imagine what they'd gotten up to. "I hope you're finding time to relax now at least. Maybe in that robe of yours that's a little too short.." Abbie couldn't help herself.

Alex chuckled, and she felt a flash of slow warmth through her core that made her wish she was, in fact, wearing that robe. "Mmm...if only I'd had time to change... Are you in your room?" she asked, and she was unable to keep the smirk out of her voice.

Abbie licked her lips. "Gettin' there hon. You could always.." Her phone beeped as she got on the elevator and the doors closed, losing the call, "...damn.."

Groaning, Alex let the phone fall to her lap. Her instinct was to call back immediately, but she knew that would only result in getting each other's voicemails and three more minutes of crossed wires. Instead, she headed to her bedroom and quickly slipped into that robe before her phone started ringing. "Hey there..." she answered.

"Hey sorry...elevator." Abbie swung open the door to her room, balancing the binders she was carrying as she did so. She barely made it across the room, and dumped them on the bed. "Okay, there...sorry." Abbie straightened and pushed her hair out of her eyes, "Back...anyway...I was saying something about getting changed?" She tried to get the mood of her voice back.

"Mmhm...and I just put..." Alex was just settling back onto the bed when she heard the tapping of the puppies' feet stop for a suspiciously long time. "Shit, hang on, I left my glass of wine," she said as she scrambled up, nearly tripping over the robe's tie as she hurried into the living room to see the dogs sniffing the cup. "No...that's not for you," she called.

Abbie changed the phone to her other hand as she shrugged out of her coat. She could imagine what was going on Alex's end and laughed, "I sure hope you're not talkin' to me still babe."

"No..." Alex laughed and snatched up the cup, taking it back to the bedroom. "The girls might have a thing for vino verde..." She pushed the bedroom door closed as an afterthought and didn't wait to make sure that it latched. "Still in your suit?" It didn't come out as suggestively as Alex wanted.

"Sure they do. And I am, and I think you like that." Abbie stepped out of her shoes and crossed the room to the window.

"I'd like it better if I were there to get my hands under it," Alex quipped. And that was the truth. Abbie had been in and out of DC a few times since she started the new job. And while it suited them well enough for what they were, Alex was beginning to actively miss having Abbie to wake up next to.

Abbie laughed quietly, "I'd like that better too...Oh! Thank god for that.." A sign across the street caught her eye, "I think I can get internet at the cafe." The hotel was lacking, and she was too cheap to pay for it. A moment later she cringed, "Sorry...just that was exciting, I've been looking all day." She put her hand to her forehead, "Anyway...yes...I'd like that better too." Abbie reached for the buttons of her blazer and backed toward the bed.

"Oh," Alex said sitting up, "that reminds me...I need to email you the directions to that barbecue place my dad liked in DC...Let me..." she was slipping off of the bed and heading down the hall for her computer. "It'll just take a sec...but you have to try it..." She carried the computer back to the bedroom and crossed her legs as she opened it and balanced it between her knees. Alex had all but forgotten about Abbie's suit.

"Oh thanks, yeah I'd love some real food while I'm here," She stretched out on the bed, listening to Alex's fingers faintly clicking on the keys, "I do miss you a lot though."

"There...sent..." Alex flipped the computer closed and smiled to herself as she lay back against the pillows. "I miss you too...it's...mmm a little lonely without you," she admitted. "And I'm getting far too much sleep..."

"Oh Really?" Abbie rolled over and started tugging at a loose thread on the pillowcase. "Have you been thinking about what you'd like me to do when I get back next week?" She smirked at the possibilities.

"Do you think I've been able to think about much else?" Alex listened to Abbie shifting on the other end of the line and ran her fingers along the edge of her robe as she pressed her legs together lightly. In truth, she wished that had been the only thing she'd had to think about.

Abbie smiled, thinking about the expression that was surely on Alex's face. "And what have you been thinking of?" She un-tucked her shirt and started to pull it off.

"Well..." Alex closed her eyes and tried to focus on the sound of Abbie's voice. She wasn't as comfortable with talking like this as she knew she should have been. But Abbie enjoyed it immensely, and that usually worked out any of her nerves. "We've got that long weekend coming up...and I've been thinking about what cozy little hotel room I could keep you locked up in..."

Abbie grinned and slipped her shirt off over her head. Her hair caught in a button, and in her growing excitement more than a little ripped out, "Shit! Damn this...fucking..." She took a breath and couldn't help but laugh as she rubbed her scalp, "Shit....sorry about that...hair...but yes..." She tried to calm down, "But the weekend...yes.."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Alex asked quickly, sitting up. She heard Abbie settling again, and she tried to do the same. "Right...anyway. I was thinking," she said as she twirled a strand of hair around her finger, "well...I have a friend who has a house in the Hamtons..." She knew she was getting bogged down in the details, and she tried to just focus and picture Abbie shirtless.

"Yeah..?" Abbie was grinning again, and lazily touched herself, feeling her nipples already sensitive under her bra, "And what might we manage to do with a whole weekend away?"

"Well...we could..." Alex licked her lips as she shifted. She could hear Abbie's voice getting breathy, and she was already wet. "God, Abbie, I just want to touch you..."

Abbie moaned lightly and reached to tug up the hem of her skirt, stopping just short of touching herself, "Please....tell me what you would do if I was there right now.." She was settling into the moment, closing her eyes.

"God, Abbie...I..." Alex pressed her hand down her stomach and moaned when she reached down to her clit. She squirmed lightly, knowing she was turning red. "I'd kiss you...and...I'd pull you close...close enough to get to the zipper of your skirt..."

"Yes...God..." Abbie couldn't wait, and slipped her fingers under the lace of her panties, "And then what Alex..."

"And then..." Alex bit her lip and just let Abbie's voice feel her mind. She could well imagine what the brunette was doing. "I would let your skirt fall to the floor while I kissed down your stomach...wouldn't want to wait...and mmm..." Alex licked her lips, imagining how Abbie tasted.

"Shit...." Abbie's voice faded out into a moan as she touched herself in earnest, "Oh...." She was already close, "Shit!" The brunette bolted upright at the sound of a knock on the door. "Abbie?" The voice was familiar from her meeting earlier in the day, she had all but forgotten they'd exchanged room numbers while making vague plans. "It's Greg, just wanted to know if you still had time for a drink to go over that proposal?" Abbie swore again under her breath, "Alex...I....sorry.." Abbie called toward the door, "Uhh...sure.....Greg. One minute...I'm....one minute."

"Greg...?" Alex sat up and pulled her robe closed as if someone were about to walk into her room. "Abbie, what's going on?"

"No...of course, Abbie, I'm sorry for..." Alex shook her head and just made herself laugh. She was a little lightheaded with the way the conversation had been going, but with the way her day had passed, this was bound to happen. "Enjoy yourself, okay. And call me when you get in...I don't mind if it's late." She let her fingers trail along one of the dogs back as she walked into the bedroom, and Alex just shook her head. "Miss you..."

"I miss you too. A lot." Abbie hung up, and took a last breath before opening the door, her face settling back into what she hoped was her professional demeanor, praying to God the walls were too thick for him to have heard anything. "Greg," She smiled, "Did you bring a copy, or should I get mine?"


	29. Curiosity...

Abbie kissed Alex again as the blonde fell quiet and rolled to her side, pulling Alex into her arms. They'd forgone the movie after dinner, and it had definitely been the right choice. She ran her hair through Alex's hair, quietly working out a few of the tangles, but knowing hers was a complete mess after getting caught in the rain on the way home. She could already feel it curling, returning to its natural unruly state. Alex's breath was slowing, and something flashed from memory, and Abbie started to smile to herself, not sure if she should ask but knowing she'd do it anyway. "Alex?" She kissed the blonde's forehead, "Can I ask you something?"

"Mmhm," Alex murmured, tempted almost to simply fall asleep. But she opened her eyes, knowing that the reward would be the sight of Abbie calming, possibly smiling. And she was right. She blinked lazily and wrapped one of the little curls resting on Abbie's cheek around her fingertips. "Sure." She shifted and smiled; there were very few times Alex could remember being so content with simply doing nothing.

Abbie smiled and held Alex a little tighter, as if she might squirm away, "Well..." She didn't entirely know how to ask, but she was in it now, "You know awhile ago...when we had the night with Taylor?" The brunette just decided to start there.

At the mention of the blonde's name, Alex raised her eyebrows. She wasn't sure if Taylor and Abbie had made up…it had been a while, but she knew that she certainly wasn't going to bring up her name outside of a work related context. But she found herself settling into Abbie's arms, content in the tight embrace, her body warm against Abbie's. "It's not exactly something that's easy to forget." Or that she'd really want to forget, if she really admitted that much to herself. But Alex's curiosity was getting the better of her. "Why?"

Abbie had to laugh quietly to herself as she continued, "Well, I believe I promised you I'd ask you about your...reaction...to her suggestion of a collar." It seemed a little late to bring it up, but once she'd thought of it, Abbie couldn't resist.

Before she could contain her reaction, holding it back to merely raising her eyebrows again, Alex's breath caught. She remembered the moment, and at Abbie's question, it became even more vivid. Her fingers twitched at the urge to run her fingers over her neck, remembering the feel of Liz's collar there. "I...yes, I supposed you did," she managed. Abbie hadn't, after all, asked a question.

It was more of a reaction than Abbie was prepared for, and she shifted to look at Alex fully, "What? Okay, there's a story here, and I think I'm gonna need to hear it." The brunette didn't know quite what to expect, but she found herself more intrigued than upset. Something in how she had felt about Taylor contrasted with how she now did about Alex, and she just knew it was different.

As she considered just how to frame her answer, Alex twisted in Abbie's grasp, turning to fully face the brunette. She could feel her cheeks getting hot, but she managed to hold Abbie's eyes. "What makes you think it's a story you really want to hear?" she asked, voice playful to only just cover a slight edge, almost daring the brunette.

Abbie raised an eyebrow, taking a moment to decide if she really did want to hear. She was so far into it now though, she had to find out, "I just, I want to know." She ran her fingers through Alex's hair again, "If you want to tell me of course."

"Well..." Alex tried to ignore the way her blush was creeping down to her chest. She tried to ignore the persistent memory of just how Taylor's voice had sounded and just how wet she had become upon hearing the offhanded comment. She focused on Abbie as if she were a vision, and before she could really stop herself, she was drawing in a shuddering breath and leaning towards the brunette for a lingering, almost forceful kiss. "I look very striking in a collar, I've been told."

Abbie returned the kiss before the comment hit her, and then she pulled back, sorting out the mixture of uncertainty and arousal she was feeling. It wasn't something she wanted for herself, not in such a strict or organized manner, and for reasons she still didn't quite understand it had scared her to think of Taylor that way. However, with Alex it was less of a shock somehow, and she didn't shy away from the topic. "Really..." She managed a curious smile, "By whom?"

"Liz," Alex admitted, surprised by her own readiness in that. And others. But she saw no need to make every detail explicit. There was something slightly detached about Abbie's curiosity that was both arousing and safe enough to make Alex feel more at ease with the discussion. She snaked her arms around the brunette and tangled their legs together, smiling lazily. "Is that...hmm..." Alex considered her question. "What made you remember that?" Not that she was complaining, and she wasn't sure she really wanted to know what had triggered Abbie's memory. She was more curious in Abbie's interest in the moment.

"I...I'm not sure." Abbie moved her fingers over Alex's back. It wasn't exactly shocking, Abbie knew the blonde spent more time with Liz than she ever would with her bosses outside of work hours, and she had just made the choice not to ask. They weren't exclusive, though Abbie had found herself not seeking out anyone else recently, getting more and more content to settle into her time with Alex. She shifted as she processed the information, returning to her questions, "Can I see it?" The thought caught the brunette completely by surprise, and she had no idea why she had asked, or why she was finding herself growing aroused again. She blushed at her own reaction, the better part of her intelligence wanting to leave well enough alone.

Alex knew immediately that the surprise at Abbie's comment registered all over her face, and she pulled away slightly. This wasn't what she had expected in the least for the rest of the night, but she was quickly resolving herself to giving Abbie what she wanted. "It's...at Liz's." Alex pressed her thigh between Abbie's legs lightly, feeling that the brunette had gotten wet again. She found herself moaning slightly. "Abbie, do you...is that something you might like to..." She licked her lips. Liz was going to kill her for offering without asking first, but that had its own thrill.

"Mmmnn.." Abbie took a moment to press into the touch while she organized her thoughts, as much as she could anyway. She didn't really know what made her ask, continue to ask, but there being something that Alex was clearly so serious about made her want to understand. She still didn't think that world was something she wanted to enter herself, but there was almost an uncontrollable urge, an almost morbid curiosity. Maybe in some small way she didn't want to make the same mistake she had with Taylor, maybe she needed to deal with her own fears and curiosities. "I'm not sure Alex...I just...I think I want to see." She was blushing, "Not do...but I don't know..." Abbie hoped Alex could read her well enough.

Such an admission might have been enough to put Alex off of the entire plan, but coming from Abbie... She thought she understood. There was a give and take and a constant push to what they did together, and she enjoyed that. It made her feel normal; it exhilarated her where her nights with Liz grounded her. But she couldn't see it changing, becoming what she had with Liz, and that, Alex found, didn't bother her in the least. If Abbie wanted to see, maybe it was because she needed to see it. She ran her fingers through Abbie's hair, pressing, massaging against her scalp. "I think...I'd like to show you," she said finally, smiling. It seemed fair.

Abbie looked at the blonde again and tried to relax into the touch. "Okay...I...Thank you." The trust was evident, and that she cared enough to want this almost surprised Abbie herself. She was done talking about it for the night. If in the cold light of day she still wanted it, the brunette knew it would work itself out. She wrapped Alex tighter in her arms, content again to try and drift into sleep.


	30. Interlude

Throughout the entire scene, Alex had been preoccupied, even when she was rewarded with her own release. What made matters worse was that she knew Liz knew it. And in letting the night continue until it's natural end, she also knew that Liz was expecting her to either say something or leave with whatever was bothering her. And it wasn't that the question itself was bothering Alex; it was that she had no idea what Liz's reaction to it might be. Still, she'd grown more comfortable, more confident as everything in her life began to settle into solid routines. "Can I ask a favor?" she said as she finished dressing and pulled her hair into a low ponytail.

"What's the favor?" Liz was pulling a robe on and regarded Alex seriously, wondering if this favor was what had preoccupied Alex all night. She hoped it was, or they might end up standing around for another 45 minutes until Alex got around to talking about whatever was bothering her.

"Abbie would like to join us for an evening," she replied evenly. Alex saw little point in building to it, explaining why and how Abbie knew about their evenings together at all. She didn't share openly with Liz about just how much time she spent sleeping at Abbie's apartment instead of her own, but Liz had an ear to enough things that Alex didn't feel any need. "I...believe her interest is more aesthetic than anything else." She hoped that from that Liz could infer that while Abbie was never one to refuse getting on her knees, her interests precluded willingly submitting everything else.

"Abbie Carmichael?" Liz raised her eyebrows at the request, taking her time to think it over. "I'm not generally interested in having a peanut gallery, and despite evidence to the contrary, I generally like to keep my personal life away from work." And there was the matter of Taylor. She had told Liz just about just enough of her fight with Abbie to make Liz cautious. Still, Abbie seemed to be becoming more and more important to Alex, and given a choice, she had a feeling that Alex would easily pick Abbie over whatever the two of them had together.

Alex took a breath to immediately respond, but she stopped, for once, to consider her words more carefully. "It's the only time I'll ask. And I think it might be...grounding for me," she said thoughtfully.

Liz nodded. She knew Alex wouldn't ask lightly, and clearly she had been thinking about the request all night, probably longer. "If it's something that you want or need, I'm sure I can find a way to accommodate that."

"Thank you," Alex replied, relieved. "I'll let you know." She stepped in and gave Liz a soft, almost reverent kiss before turning on her heel to go, resolving to speak to Abbie the next day to make sure she still wanted to be there.


	31. Grounding

Alex turned the keys in the ignition and pulled them out, letting them fall in her lap as she turned to Abbie. She took the brunette's hand and kissed it, trying to appear calm, relaxed when both her nervousness and excitement had been mounting for most of the day. There was something about an audience that always made Alex do well, but this audience was entirely different. There was a deeper desire in her to make sure that Abbie was pleased, as well as to show her that while she got everything she needed from this aspect of her life from Liz, there were things she needed from her. "Ready?" she asked, glancing to the steps leading to Liz's door. It was unspoken that she was silently asking Abbie if she'd rather not, if she'd rather go home. And she hoped that it was clear that she was all right with that prospect.

Abbie was looking at the front of the brownstone, collecting herself. Even as unsure as she was, she knew she wouldn't call it off. She leaned over and kissed Alex's cheek, "Yeah…I think so."

"Okay." Alex smiled genuinely and took a deep breath. "Abbie, just so we're clear...I know this isn't what you need. I don't expect this from you." And as soon as she said it, Alex felt lighter, felt truly ready for the rest of the night. What she expected from Abbie was to constantly be greeted with the unexpected, and she loved it.

Abbie nodded and gave her a small smile, "That's good." They got out of the car and went t the front door, "Because I don't think I could really." She stopped Alex as she went to ring the bell, "Alex, tonight just...don't worry about me, I don't expect that this is about me, I just care too much about you to pretend I don't know." She was a little surprised herself at the comment, but it didn't feel wrong.

"Thank you," Alex replied softly, leaning in to give Abbie a lingering kiss as if to show that the feelings were mutual. And when she pulled away, before she rang the bell, she tried to center herself, smoothing her shirt as an outward display.

Liz opened the door a moment later, taking in the sight of the two women as they stood there. "Alex, Abbie, Welcome." She held the door open for them. "Come in." She wanted to judge Abbie's comfort level for herself before she actually tried anything with Alex.

Abbie followed Alex in and turned to greet Liz. It felt strange, it wasn't like she didn't see the woman at the office all the time, but this was clearly different and she had no idea how to behave. "Good evening Liz." She didn't quite know what else to say, so she smiled at the older woman respectfully and just stood by Alex in the entry.

Alex drew in a steadying breath and squeezed Abbie's hand before letting it go. She stepped further into the living room and began to undress without being prompted. It was habitual, and the familiar movements grounded her for the night. When she was finished, she folded her clothes neatly and put them aside. And while Liz had not indicated that she should, Alex went to the wet bar to make drinks for the two women.

Abbie tried not to look surprised, but was sure she failed miserably. It wasn't like she didn't realize the nature of the scene, wasn't sure someplace in her head she had known Alex would be practiced, but it was real now. She was still silent, and looked at Liz before taking her drink from Alex.

"Thank you." Liz lightly trailed her fingers over Alex's back and motioned to the living room. "Why don't we have a seat and discuss just what it is you're interested in tonight?" She was looking directly at Abbie, making it clear that she was talking to her and not Alex, who at this juncture was really more of an after thought.

At that, Alex saw her cue to slip away. She went quickly and quietly upstairs and to Liz's bedroom, where she found the box containing her collar already sitting out. She shuddered, Abbie's request, her distinctive voice echoing in her head as she put it on. And after glancing at herself in the mirror for a mere moment, she went back downstairs, slipping to her knees at Liz's side only to dare to glance up for Abbie's reaction.

Abbie had only gotten so far as to take an offered seat by Liz, and to begin explaining that she didn't quite know that she 'wanted' anything out of the encounter other than to quell her curiosity at Alex's needs when the blonde returned. Abbie paused immediately and looked at her, and couldn't stop from reaching out to touch the leather around her elegant neck. Alex was right, she was striking.

"It looks good on her, doesn't it?" Liz smiled in bemusement at Abbie's expression.

Abbie nodded, "It does." The brunette crossed her legs, once again surprised to feel a growing arousal building through her.

Liz slowly trailed her fingers through Alex's hair. "I have to admit, I was surprised when she asked if you could watch." She hated to bring up Taylor so quickly, but she wasn't going to let it be an elephant in the room. "It doesn't seem like something you would particularly be interested in."

As she listened, Alex glanced up carefully, trying to gauge whether the night would be a success. She wasn't sure why Liz would make that assumption about Abbie, and it was becoming apparent that she was missing something. She squirmed.

Uncertain of her response, Abbie glanced up at Liz. She knew it wasn't her place, but things didn't seem to have really started yet, and so she took the chance. The brunette nodded at Alex. "Would you give Liz and I a moment?" Her feelings on the subject were still confusing, but she didn't want to talk about it right then with Alex, but Liz obviously needed to know and might understand. Abbie knew she'd tell Alex soon anyway, just not with the other woman in her current position.

Surprised, Alex stood quickly. She nodded to Abbie and then nodded politely to Liz before going into the kitchen, kneeling on the cold floor to wait. She couldn't hear what they were saying from there, and though she could have chosen a room more convenient for that, Alex knew it would only lead to punishment. Her curiosity was almost overwhelming, but she realized that there were secrets she needed to let Abbie keep.

Abbie watched Alex leave, then turned back to Liz. "I'm sorry to intrude Liz. And I owe you an explanation about Taylor." She sipped her drink for a moment. "Taylor and I...we never were stable together, but when we were, the one constant that made it work for me was that Taylor was strong, unwaveringly so. Maybe it was selfish on my part to expect that, but I needed it." Abbie was surprised at how easily it came out, "Taylor was the one who could make things at work seem far away on weekends, she was the one who stepped in and picked me up after Toni died, saving me from myself on more than one occasion. When I saw her show a weakness, a need I didn't know she had, or wouldn't let myself see, something snapped." The brunette took a breath before finishing, "But with Alex it's different, more fluid, and maybe in part I'm here tonight to put some of my guilt to rest. I owe it to Alex to not just ignore this part of her life." Abbie stopped then and looked at Liz, hoping she had made sense.

Liz nodded at Abbie's words, respecting her honesty. "I can understand that." And it made sense to her. There were certainly people in her own life that she had a hard time seeing as anything other than strong and stable, people that had saved her from bad situations. "Though I hope you've learned that putting people on a pedestal never ends well." Liz reached out of Abbie's hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "If you want to watch, then you can watch. And if you want something more than that, let me know." She held Abbie's gaze, making sure she heard her.

Abbie settled at the response, at the understanding there, and it gave her confidence to stay. "Yes Liz. Thank you."

Liz nodded and stood, going to the kitchen door and pushing it open. "You can come back now," she said to Alex as she nodded and followed her back, sinking to her knees.

Liz regarded her for a long moment, trying to think of just what she wanted to do with the other woman, what she could do that wouldn't push Abbie further than she needed to go. She crooked her finger at Alex, beaconing her closer, only to drop a light kiss on her lips before she stood. "Crawl up to the bedroom."

The request was so simple, but Alex could not help but frown. It was one of the small, quiet things that she loathed. Still, she moved away, the kiss still on her lips, and did her best to look graceful as she crawled away, moving up the stairs as quickly as she could make herself go as the two women followed. Abbie watched, taking note of Alex's slight inflection that told her it wasn't her favorite request. She stood when Liz did, following the older woman's lead until she was told otherwise. The night would be a challenge she could already tell, even without taking part really.

Now that the night had started in earnest, Liz ignored Abbie, focused entirely on Alex. "Cuffs for your hands and your feet. And a butt plug and lube." Liz sat in one of the two chairs in her bedroom, silently offering Abbie the other. She had a feeling that even tasks that Alex did without thought would become more charged when she knew Abbie was watching her.

As she rose, Alex drew in a silent, grounding breath. She could feel Abbie's eyes on her, and even after months of growing closer, there was still something about that that left her off balance--normally pleasantly, but that night, Alex wasn't sure. She found each of the requested items with haste, presenting them to Liz one by one before she stood before the blonde and offered her wrists.

Liz sat everything on a small table, but ignored Alex's proffered wrists. "Lay face first on the floor and stretch your arms and legs out." It wasn't something she had done to Alex before, but it was something she was almost certain that the blonde wouldn't like.

In doing as she was told, Alex hesitated. She hadn't expected new elements that night. And she realized that part of her desperately wanted to show Abbie that she was practiced, at ease with all of this. She stretched herself out, her body running the length of one of the rugs that covered the wooden floor. She didn't like the position, the way her hipbones ground against the floor, they way she couldn't see the faces of the two women above her.

Abbie gripped the arms of her chair lightly. The night had just slipped into more than she had experienced, and she just tried to relax and let it play out. She had to admit Alex was beautiful in her movements, and in a way she wasn't sure she could or wanted to recreate.

Liz knelt next to Alex, wrapping a restraint around one wrist and then the other. Once that was done, she carefully drew Alex's arms behind her back, clipping her wrists together. She left her like that she as she went to Alex's ankles and did the same thing, encouraging her to push her legs even further apart. Then she went back to the table for the lube and the butt plug, carefully coating her fingers, then slowly pushing them into Alex's ass.

Alex gasped and in spite of herself, she began to squirm under Liz's touch. She flexed her arms, pulling at the restraints, testing them as she tested everything, each night they were together. She wasn't sure whether to squirm into or away from Liz as she slid the toy into her, and Alex found herself struggling to flick her eyes up, to catch some sight of Abbie.

"Stay there." Liz unclipped Alex's wrists, tossing the clip onto the table as she passed it on her way to the bathroom. She wanted to give Abbie and Alex a moment alone in which nothing was keeping Alex in place other than her own willpower, her own desire.

Abbie found herself shifting, watching and wanting both to see more, and fighting the instinct to do something, to go and take Alex away. She had to remind herself over and over that she was a spectator in something that Alex wanted, and had no business in trying to fix something that wasn't broken. To further confuse her, she was wet, and just crossed her legs, trying to look unaffected.

As she waited, Alex began to squirm more, feeling the weight of the plug as both uncomfortable and familiar. She flexed her fingers before half pushing herself up, looking up to Abbie, meeting her eyes. And when she did, she moaned, softly. Abbie's heart jumped as Alex moved. She could tell what was expected of the blonde, and could tell she was walking a fine line. Abbie didn't want Alex to break her role on her account, that wasn't the point of the night for either of them. If anyone was going to bail out, it should be her. Abbie caught Alex's stare, and keeping her eyes soft, stood and went to the blonde, "Alex...I don't think you're supposed to do that." Abbie took a breath and shifted, pressing Alex back down with the toe of her shoe.

As she let herself be lowered, Alex felt more settled. She focused on the sound of Abbie's voice, on the instructions that Liz had given her. And she drew in a shuddering breath, waiting. Abbie, she realized, had stepped close to the line of where she was and was not comfortable, and Alex used that to refocus her thoughts, to concentrate on what she needed from Liz and what Abbie needed to see.

Liz returned from the bathroom, happy to see that Alex was still where she had left her. She squatted down next to Alex's head and wrapped a hand in the hair at the top of her neck, carefully controlling Alex's movements. "I want you to crawl over there and thank Abbie for stopping you before disobeyed me."

Without hesitating, Alex nodded and got to her hands and knees, moving to Abbie as gracefully as she could manage. With each inch forward, she realized just how wet she had gotten, and though Alex knew better, she flicked her eyes up to Abbie's face, seeing that the brunette seemed surprised. But Alex knew what Liz wanted with her, and she slowly bent and kissed Abbie's feet lightly before backing away.

"Good girl." Liz ran her fingers through Alex's hair. She grabbed the clip and refastened Alex's hands in front of her, then she got out a long length of chain, looping it around a bedpost and attaching it to one of Alex's ankles. The intended effect was more psychological than physical as it was more than long enough to let Alex move freely in the room, though it would prevent her from leaving. Liz liked the sound it made as Alex shifted.

Alex was unsure of what to do next. Liz hadn't told her to lie back on the floor, and she hadn't told her to get up. She moved to her knees between the two women, struggling to keep her eyes on the floor as she awaited instruction.

Liz nodded in approval, happy that Alex had found a spot where they could both see her. "Now touch yourself." Liz sat back down in her chair and crossed her legs, waiting for Alex to do as she was told.

Before she could stop herself, Alex whimpered slightly. It was difficult for her to do the simplest things, the things that required her to actually focus on what she felt, what she wanted, and what her limits were. It was much easier, much more cleansing to have the pain to push her. She kept her eyes on the floor, almost afraid to look up, to see what Abbie was thinking, and with her bound hands, she pressed her fingers between her legs, between her lips to circle her own clit. Alex found herself pressing her breasts forward, nipples hard, wanting.

Though her breath was short, Abbie tried to hide it. The moment was both simple and endlessly complicated, but in both ways the brunette was surprised at how arousing it was. She wanted so badly to reach out and touch Alex, to push her along like she would were they just together, but somehow having to watch passively had an allure she hadn't made herself experience before.

Alex's fingers slipped easily, and she longed to pull her hands apart. She didn't dare close her eyes to make the sensation more acute because she knew she would come quickly if she did. Instead, she tried to focus on Abbie's voice.

Liz Looked between Alex and Abbie, content with the spectacle that she had created. She watched Alex get closer and closer to her release, neither giving her permission to come, or telling her to stop. She wanted to see which Alex would choose, knowing that punishment would await either decision. Instead, she turned to Abbie. "Have you seen what you need to see? Are you enjoying yourself?"

Abbie jumped at the sound of Liz's voice, and turned her head sharply to meet her gaze, "Oh..." Her mouth suddenly felt dry, "I...yes...I think so." She knew she was blushing, but didn't quite know what question she had answered. Probably both.

"Do you want me to let Alex come, or would you prefer to wait until you take her home?" Liz asked the question as mildly as she could, unwilling to influence Abbie's decision either way.

Her mind twisted over the question. She wanted to be selfish, she wanted to be the one to make Alex come but couldn't bear to think of her waiting all night through....whatever else might happen. She took a steadying breath, finding her voice weak. "Let her come...Please." She bit her lip, not taking her eyes off of Alex.

As soon as she heard what Abbie said, Alex shuddered in her climax, knowing full well that Liz hadn't given her the order yet. She moaned shamelessly, closing her eyes and throwing her head back, giving Abbie a display that she would so seldom allow herself even though she knew Liz might still punish her for it.

Liz pursed her lips at Alex's presumption. "I don't remember giving you permission to do that." Liz quickly stood up and pushed Alex onto her back, unclipping one of her hands and shoving Alex onto her stomach as she re-clipped her hands behind her back. She smacked Alex's ass hard. "Apologize."

Abbie jumped visibly at the strike, but stopped herself before she did more.

"I'm sorry," Alex replied automatically, the words tasting bitter in her mouth. She hated apologies, hated that she had begun to build this with Liz on an apology. And Liz knew it.

"I should leave you there for the rest of the night." Liz put her foot in the middle of Alex's upper back and pushed her face down into the rug.

"Please..." Alex gasped, knowing that Liz certainly would if she thought Alex deserved it. She had almost forgotten about Abbie in the suddenness of her small punishment, but then and there, Alex remembered and moaned as she shifted under Liz's foot. "Please," she said again.

If Liz hadn't been running the scene at least partially for Abbie's benefit, she might have done just that, letting Alex lay on the floor to her office while she finished some mindless paperwork and then sent her home. But Abbie was there and Liz didn't know that the other woman would truly understand the appeal of something like that. More likely, she would only get bored. "You're very lucky that you've got an audience tonight and that I don't think that watching you squirm on the floor for a few hours would particularly interest her." Liz removed her foot and pulled Alex back onto her knees. "If she'll let you, you should go show her your appreciation for that."

Somehow, Alex didn't think Abbie would refuse, but she wouldn't underestimate the brunette's ability to surprise her. She went to her, moving on her knees with practiced balance and looking up through her lashes once she found herself in front of Abbie. "If you would allow me..." she said breathlessly, not realizing how readily having to ask Abbie for this would make her own desire grow again.

The intent was obvious, and Abbie was more than wanting it. Still, something was too harsh for her, too staged. There was an appeal there, but she was already at her limit. She nodded, but reached to touch the bindings on Alex's wrists, looking to Liz, "May I?"

"If you want." Liz nodded. It wasn't her intention to make Abbie uncomfortable.

Abbie reached down and unbound Alex's hands, then brushed her hands luxuriantly through her blonde hair. Freeing Alex was mostly about the feel for Abbie, but a small part also wanted to feel Alex's hands on her while she came. She looked down at the blonde, "You heard Liz." She risked a small smirk, "Show me."

At the look on Abbie's face, Alex couldn't help but smile to herself. She knew that even that small expression revealed that Abbie was comfortable enough for this. And without hesitating, grateful that her hands were unbound, Alex pushed her palms up Abbie's thighs, pushing up the simply, soft black dress to pull the brunette's black lace panties off, shivering when she realized they were her favorite pair. She chanced looking up for a moment, meeting Abbie's eyes before ducking her to press her tongue to the brunette's clit. Abbie shuddered immediately and grabbed a handful of Alex's hair, holding her in place where she needed the touch.

"God...." She closed her eyes and focused, not bothering to drag it out. Soon she was starting to come, and twisted Alex's hair in her hands, "Good girl...like that.."

Alex whimpered into her, continuing, pushing Abbie through her climax. And when she finished, she dared to place a light kiss on the brunette's thigh before she straightened herself. "Thank you, Abbie," she murmured, shifting to clasp her hands behind her back.

Abbie moaned as she settled, leaning back in the chair. She took the moment to recover before collecting herself slightly and sitting back up.

Liz gave them both time to recover before she crooked her finger at Alex. "My turn." She reached out for Alex once she got close enough and ran a hand through her hair. "And then you can have your spanking." She wanted the idea in Alex's mind. She wanted her to think about it as she licked her, for the anticipation to make her want it even more.

Whimpering as she blushed brightly, Alex went to Liz, mimicking her earlier movements with Abbie. And with Abbie's taste in her mouth, she began to lick Liz, whimpering, trying to be precise, somehow hoping to avoid the spanking she knew she would get.

Abbie watched, trying to decide how she felt at watching. It wasn't the first time she'd watched Alex with someone else, but...things were different then. She couldn't tell if it was out of line, but she got up and crossed the room to put her hand on Alex's head, pressing her further toward Liz like she had with Taylor what seemed like ages ago.

Liz's climax wasn't quite as quick as Abbie's but it wasn't far behind it. Having an audience hadn't left her entirely unaffected and she was tensing her fingers in Alex's hair only minutes after she had started. Most nights she would have forced Alex to draw it out longer and punished her for not, but she could sense the night coming to a close and she didn't want to extend it unnaturally. When she opened her eyes, she looked up at Abbie and smiled. "Help her up and over the edge of the bed."

Abbie was slightly hazy on how she'd taken this step, but as she didn't intend to make these nights a habit she just continued. "Yes Liz." She tightened her fingers in the blonde's hair, and reached under one of Alex's arms with the other hand to haul her up and over to the bed. Before pushing her over, however, Abbie turned the blonde to face her and kissed her deeply. Alex moaned into the kiss, but it took every bit of her restraint, which was fading fast, not to pull Abbie into her arms. Once against the bed, she pressed into it, curling her fists, resolving herself to the punishment.

"Thank you." Liz stood and walked over to Alex, carefully rubbing a hand over her ass. "Count." And with that, she started the spanking, knowing that it was what Alex had really wanted the entire night.

Abbie didn't step away, but curled up on the bed to watch, where she could see both of their expressions.

Liz didn't push Alex as far as she knew she could go, and as soon as the tears in her eyes started rolling down her cheeks, Liz stopped. She pushed her thumb against the butt plug, reminding Alex that it was there before she stepped away. "We're done for the night." She unbuckled the restraints and removed Alex's collar, though she left the butt plug where it was. She would let Alex and Abbie have the pleasure of removing it after they got home. "You can get dressed." She knew that Alex would be wet and ready again, but she wanted to leave her that way.

Shifting as Liz stopped, Abbie looked up at the older blonde before moving to pull Alex up into her arms. The comfort was mostly for her she could tell, as Alex looked almost surprised that Liz had stopped, but Abbie couldn't help herself. She kissed Alex's cheeks, tasting her tears.

Alex pressed into Abbie, surprised by the sudden tenderness, as well as aroused. She smiled softly, grateful at how calm Abbie seemed to be, then she pulled away, kissing the brunette's cheek lightly, to do as she was told. She turned to Liz and nodded, breath uneven at the abrupt end. "Thank you, Liz," she said, finding her voice, before nodding and leaving the room, heading downstairs to dress. She wasn't sure if Abbie and Liz would want to say anything to each other, to leave the night with some mutual understanding of how the different relationships worked.

Liz watched Alex go before turning to Abbie. "Are you still okay?" She didn't want to force Abbie out if she still had questions that needed answering or if she was worried.

Abbie considered, "Yes, I think I am. Thank you Liz...really." It was only in the moments now after that Abbie saw how much the night had been for her. Somehow being there clarified things. It wasn't a weakness really in Alex, just something she needed that Abbie was in no way prepared to give her. The thought could have been unsettling, but it wasn't. The brunette was sure in the light of day she'd understand more, but just then she wanted to take Alex home with her. She slipped off the bed and went to Liz, kissing her cheek. "And thank you for taking care of her where I can't." What she and Alex seemed to be building was entirely different.

When Abbie came down, Alex was waiting fully dressed, and she smiled when she saw her. While the scene was over in any formal sense, she was still left squirming, but she felt relieved that the night went well, that they all seemed to have gotten what they wanted. As Liz followed Abbie down, Alex went to her. She kissed the blonde lightly, silently thanking her before turning back to Abbie, looking forward to sleeping in her arms that night.


	32. Gratitude

The dogs had been walked and fed, and Alex had taken off early to spend a little bit of extra time with them to make up for not being home yet another night. She headed over to Abbie's before the brunette would get home, using her newly made key for only the second or third time. They had dinner reservations at eight--that's what Alex had told Abbie, anyway. And she had told her that she would have to meet her there because of a late meeting. She was hoping to God that Abbie went home to change.

She looked around the apartment, picking up their empty beer bottles from the night before and throwing them away, as well as picking up a few pieces of clothes scattered about. Alex took the shopping bag she'd brought into the bedroom and changed, hoping that Abbie would like the lingerie. It was simple--black with ballet pink hints in satin. When she thought Abbie would be arriving soon, she slipped on a pair of heels and walked into the living room, perching on the edge of the sofa, a silken blindfold dangling over her fingers. And when she heard the key in the door, Alex felt her stomach clench. She was very much hoping Abbie would appreciate the change in plans.

Abbie pushed open the door and tossed her keys on the table. She had a few ideas of what to wear out that night, and taking the time to change had seemed like a better and better plan after she'd spilled a decent streak of coffee down her blouse a few hours ago. On her way to the bedroom, however, she caught sight of Alex and dropped her briefcase on the floor, not even noticing as it opened and spilled papers across the carpet. "Shit...Alex..." It was about all she could manage.

"You won't mind if we just order in," Alex said as she slid off of the arm of the sofa and sauntered over to Abbie, resting her arms on her slender shoulders, "...later...will you?" She leaned in for a soft, teasing kiss.

Abbie kissed her back, still trying to take in how amazing Alex looked, "Hell no.." it was about all she could manage, "I suppose you have a few ideas for now then?"

"Mmhm," Alex said, smirking. She ran the blindfold through her fingers behind Abbie's back before stepping back, letting the brunette get a good look. She turned slowly as if to cement it in Abbie's mind. After all, it would have been a shame to have gone to all the trouble to buy new things if Abbie didn't get a good enough view to tease her when she couldn't see it anymore. "I wanted to thank you for last weekend," she said, shivering at the memories of Abbie watching her with Liz. Alex smiled as she wrapped the blindfold around Abbie's eyes and tied it securely behind her head.

Immediately Abbie reached for Alex, then let her hands fall back when she realized it wasn't up to her anymore. In the dark, she felt her senses jump. The whole moment was far more than she had expected, but she realized it was more than welcome. "I...I think I approve of this babe." And she did, and more so with every passing moment.

"I'm glad..." And Alex was. It was the only element of which she had been unsure. She didn't want to control Abbie, only to heighten the experience. "You've got something on your shirt," she said softly, playfully. And accordingly, Alex began to unbutton it.

"Coffee.." Abbie said the word a little too loudly probably, and she felt like her voice echoed in the room. Alex's touch was sure but not demanding, and Abbie reached out to try and touch her, shivering as her fingers slid over the soft fabrics.

The touch made Alex moan slightly. She liked the blind way Abbie's fingers reached for her, finding surety again when they touched the fabric, when they found her skin. She pushed the shirt off of Abbie's shoulders, gently pulling the brunette's arms out and letting it flutter to the floor, unhooking Abbie's bra to join it. "I should have known," she said, amused. Alex smiled as she kissed Abbie's jaw, her neck, kissing down to her collarbones as she gently began to touch her nipples.

"Ohh...." Abbie was squirming immediately, shamelessly, under the touch. She wanted to just tell Alex to make her come, she was already that wanting, but knowing how capable of drawing it out Alex was, Abbie was content to see where she would take it.

Alex smirked, pulling away slightly and reveling in the sight of Abbie there. She quickly unzipped the brunette's skirt, leaving her in her panties and her heels, and then she took her hand, leading her into the small dining nook. Alex licked her lips as she gently pushed Abbie down against the table, kissing her until she was flat against it. The strawberries she had bought were warm, but they were still glistening from when she had washed them. She took one by it's stem and ran it along Abbie's collarbones before pressing it to her lips as she ran her other hand up Abbie's side.

Abbie could feel her skin crawling with goosebumps, every touch magnified, and she smiled when she realized what Alex had planned and was more than happy to play along. "Mmmmnn...Alex..." She reached for the blonde, trying to pull her into a kiss but only caught air.

"They're fresh," Alex murmured, bending to speak against Abbie's ear so her lips would just brush against it. She let Abbie take a bite of the fruit, catching the sweet scent as she rolled one of Abbie's nipples firmly between her fingertips. This part of the night had been something of afterthought, but Alex was very pleased with the way it was turning out. And when she kissed Abbie, she caught the faint taste of the fruit on the brunette's tongue.

"I can tell." Abbie licked her lips quickly. She wanted to lean up and kiss Alex again, but there was something so utterly delicious to letting the blonde continue that she let herself relax, though she couldn't help whimpering as her nipples hardened to the point of discomfort.

Alex shivered lightly just watching Abbie respond. She picked another strawberry and pressed it to Abbie's lips as she straddled her and ducked gracefully, taking the brunette's other nipple between her teeth. Her own arousal was slowly heightening, and the build was delicious.

Abbie squirmed, all the sensations becoming too much to remain still. "Alex..." Her voice was dropping lower, and she ran her hands through Alex's hair, "please.."

At the desperation creeping into Abbie's voice, Alex moaned. She pressed her hand down the brunette's front, pushing her palm between her legs to feel through her panties that Abbie was wet. She was tempted, too tempted to just give in and give Abbie exactly what she wanted. But Alex dipped one of the strawberries in sugar and pressed it to Abbie's lips. "Patience..." Her voice was playful as she said it.

Abbie was going to protest, to press into Alex's touch, or to grab her and try to get what she wanted, she really was but Alex's tone was too expectant and she relented. The brunette took a moment to enjoy the sweetness before reaching down to slide her fingers up Alex's bare thighs. She reached the hem of the blonde's panties, and teased her fingers under the elastic. "Yes, patience, of course Alex...you're so good at it after all."

Grinning, Alex pressed into Abbie's touch. She took a long moment to pause, to look down at the brunette and just take the moment in. "Mmm...do you think you're so good at this you can do it blindfolded?" she teased, bending to kiss Abbie lightly, nipping at her lip before coming away.

Chuckling, Abbie slowly pressed her fingers under Alex's panties further, just touching her enough to feel how wet she was, "Mmm...was there ever a doubt in your mind sugar?"

"Not in the least," Alex purred. But that could wait until later. She slid off of Abbie and pulled the brunette's panties with her. Alex kissed up her thighs, stopping just short and smirking. "But I'll be happy to make you come when you find me," she said as she backed away, sauntering towards the bedroom.

Abbie groaned as she felt Alex step away but then had to smile at the blonde's audacity. She slid off the table and considered for a moment just cheating and taking off the blindfold, but she wasn't the cheating type. The brunette tried to listen after Alex's footfalls, but then just decided to try and find the bedroom as it seemed like a good bet. She stepped off, suddenly very glad they were in her apartment. This wouldn't be the first time she'd stumbled blindly through it looking for her bed, though usually she wasn't wearing an actual blindfold. "Alex?...oh...shit..." She swore as she just missed the bedroom doorway, running her shoulder into the wall. "Oh...Alex...you're in for it now when I find you..." But she was still smiling.

It was hardly going to take much more doing. Alex was propping herself up in the middle of the bed, and Abbie was fast heading for it. But she kept quiet, holding in her breath, lest Abbie hear it. Even stumbling, the brunette was absolutely irresistible.

"Alex...you better be there..." Abbie tripped lightly over a pair of jeans she had dropped on the floor round about last Tuesday. Really, she mused quickly, the best way to realize how messy you've gotten your home was to try to walk blind through it. Finally she reached the bed, and slipped carefully onto it, smiling when she felt Alex there. "Well thank God for that....now, I believe you owe me something."

Alex wrapped her arms around Abbie and kissed her soundly, not minding in the least that she had been found. "Fair is fair," she said as she pushed Abbie back and slid down her body, parting the brunette's legs. After a moment of teasing as she kissed Abbie's thighs, Alex pressed forward, pressing her tongue past the brunette's lips and up to her clit. Abbie swore under her breath, arching up off the bed, and squirming unashamedly. She pushed her fingers through Alex hair and held her closer. It didn't take long before she was starting to come, she had been waiting entirely too long to put it off any longer.

Even as she pushed into Abbie's touch, Alex continued, pushing Abbie through her orgasm. She propped on her elbow as she finished, smiling up at the brunette for half a moment before kissing up her. Alex hovered over Abbie's lips before kissing her soundly.

Abbie chuckled, recovering enough to catch Alex, wrapping her in her arms and tugging her down across her. "Mmmn..Alex...you're amazing." She laughed, "Maddening at times...but amazing."

"Maddening is having to wait one more minute for you to take this very nice lingerie off of me," Alex said as she settled against Abbie and nipped at her jaw.

Abbie laughed, and reached up to tug the blindfold off, rolling Alex under her in one movement, "I do truly wish I had the patience to make you wait for that," Abbie nipped at the other woman's collarbone, "I really do." She leaned back enough to catch her fingers under the straps of the blonde's lingerie, "but I sure as hell don't darlin.'" Abbie kissed her, and tugged the bit of fabric off over Alex's head.

"I'm so glad," Alex breathed as she squirmed, helping Abbie rid of her of the scant few pieces of clothing. She pulled the brunette against her, wanting to feel her skin for a moment. "Mm...you feel good..."

"Do I? I've never been told that before." Abbie smiled, and slid her hand down Alex's skin, going immediately to press her fingers between the blonde's legs.

"Don't get too..." Alex drew in a sharp breath and moaned as she squirmed into Abbie's touch. "God, Abbie..."

Abbie smiled at her and started touch her with more intent, "Don't get too ...what Alex..." She pressed inside her, "do tell me."

"Cocky..." Alex moaned as she reached for Abbie pulling her into a kiss and pushing her hands into the brunette's hair. "Don't get too cocky..."

"You'd like that..." Abbie couldn't help herself, but then ducked down and nipped one of the blonde's nipples, moving to touch her clit again, wanting to feel her come.

"_Abbie_..." Alex moaned, arching into it. She twisted the sheets in one hand and kept the other in Abbie's hair. Of course she'd like it, but Alex also liked the position she was in just then. She squirmed, moaning completely unashamedly, knowing that something in Abbie brought it out in her. And soon she began to shudder with her orgasm.

"Mmmmn...go on..." Abbie was enjoying the sounds Alex was making far too much, and tried to draw it out, but soon Alex was quieting, and her fingers relaxed in the brunette's hair. Abbie smiled against the other woman's skin, and moved to lay next to her, pulling the blonde close. She waited a few moments before breaking the mood, laughing quietly then, "Maybe next time," She smiled and kissed Alex's forehead, "remind me."

"I won't forget," Alex murmured, nuzzling lazily against Abbie's shoulder. She looked up at the brunette, blinking until everything was clear again, and then she laughed, glad that her surprise had gone well. "Give me a minute..." she said between giving Abbie little kisses, "and I'll go order you a pizza."

Abbie laughed, and rolled on her side to let Alex up, "Watch out Alex, I think I'm fallin' in love with you."

"If I'd only known that was the way to your heart sooner," Alex quipped as she slid off of the bed. She plucked a teeshirt from one of the bedroom chairs, pulling it on and smirking to herself as she made her way to the kitchen to find the number. When she saw the strawberries half eaten on the table, she simply chuckled to herself. They had the rest of the night ahead of them...


	33. Interlude: Decisions

Abbie put the phone down slowly, still staring at it as she rested her chin in her hand. She hadn't exactly applied for the position, but hadn't backed away when she had been asked about it. She supposed it was a promotion, technically speaking, but it was more than that.

She finally leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs. The office was mostly quiet, and she already felt a pang of nostalgia though it was quite premature. That she felt it at all, however, simply signaled that in her own way, she'd already made up her mind. There was a dim glow from down the hall that she could just see through her open doorway, and she stood up slowly and followed it.

Nora's office was warm, and the older woman was reading a casebook, looking every bit the erudite legal scholar that she truly was behind the temporary guise of her position. Abbie leaned quietly in the doorway, and eventually reached to knock on the open door.

"Abbie..." a smile came to Nora's face as she took her glasses off. All of Abbie's open cases, to her knowledge, were going well. And the look on the young woman's face did not indicate that this visit was going to be unpleasant, which, as an unfortunately effect of their positions both literally and figuratively, was often the case during regular business hours. "Come in."

Abbie stepped inside and sat, she supposed she might close the door, but few people were still around. It wouldn't be confidential for long anyway. She nodded at Nora's reading, "research?" The hint of a smile on the brunette's features wasn't really teasing, almost appreciative.

Nora chuckled as she ran her fingers gingerly over the open page. There was something grounding about the work--a thread that spanned her entire adult life, holding it together and reminding her of its progression. "It keeps me humble." She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms as she regarded Abbie thoughtfully. She didn't ask what Abbie needed. That would come.

Abbie folded her hands in her lap, "can I ask you something?" Of course she knew what the answer would be, but something about Nora made her want to ask the question.

"Of course...anything," Nora replied. She glanced to the open door, guessing that Abbie had left it that way for a reason.

Abbie nodded, trying to find a place to start, "do you know where you'll go next? After this year I mean."

"Oh, I..." Nora shook her head and smiled. It had certainly been on her mind, but she hadn't made her decision not to actually run for the office public. "I'm not sure yet. Between the two of us, I'd be just as happy to go back to teaching."

Abbie nodded again, deciding Nora must make an amazing professor. She considered, then just said what was on her mind, "I got an offer from the Justice Department."

Nora took a moment, trying to gauge just what that meant to Abbie. She wasn't sure what Abbie's aspirations were, but Nora knew that she was passionate, driven. She had no doubt that she would do well. "Abbie, that's wonderful." She smiled brightly, deciding that if Abbie needed more from her, it would come in its own time.

Abbie smiled a little, the offer was a compliment after all. "Thank you. I haven't accepted yet. It's not a typical AUSA position, I won't have my own cases like I do here." And that was one thing that was giving her pause, "it's working on an anti-drug task force, I think after the Russians...and," she grew quiet, shrugging slightly, hoping it wouldn't be too close to home.

Nora leaned forward and steepled her fingers thoughtfully. She now understood the added weight to the decision, and her heart went to Abbie. She knew all too well how the sting of something so painful remained, even with time. "You'd do well..."

Abbie glanced down at her folded hands, then back at Nora, "I hope so." And there it was, it had been that simple, and her mind was surprisingly content with the choice it had made. "I'm going to miss this though." She'd miss signing her name to closed cases, taking what little solace there was in the past-tense.

As the air of the room changed, Nora took a breath. She smiled, smoothing front of her tunic as she stood. "And we'll miss you." She rounded her desk and offered her hand to Abbie.

Abbie smiled genuinely, but as she took Nora's hand she shook her head and pulled her into an embrace. As much as it was a simple moment between professionals, a simple handshake just wasn't appropriate. "Thank you Nora," Abbie whispered before stepping away.

"Let me know when it's official," Nora said after taking a moment, a simple nod to acknowledge Abbie's words. Her smile was quiet as she continued, "I hope I won't see your light on when I leave. You should celebrate." And she had no doubt that Abbie would, in whatever way she chose. But Nora knew that she would do so contentedly, and she hoped it would be with Alex. Abbie didn't need her for this.

Abbie smiled and stepped toward the door. "You won't," and for once she was sure, "promise."


	34. Beautiful Day

Alex laughed and plucked the yellowing leaf out of Abbie's hair. It was the first slightly cool day at the beginning of a very warm autumn, and the leaves were already beginning to drift. She twirled the leaf between her fingertips and let it fall where the dogs sniffed it. "It's like the universe wants you to be even more gorgeous." She shook her head and kissed Abbie's cheek lightly.

"Stop..." Abbie laughed lightly and took Alex's hand, tugging her down the path. They were nearly alone in the area of the park, but still it made her smile to feel Alex's fingers threaded through her own in public. She had come a long way, they both had, each having to let go of some of their reservations on life. Abbie shook her head and brushed away Alex's hair from her neck, leaning over to kiss it quietly. "But it is a beautiful day."

"Mmm..." Alex came away from the kiss smiling, and she nodded in agreement. It was one of her favorite times of year, and she was finally getting a breath after a particularly convoluted case. Thinking about it...it was something that would have left her in a mood for days when she'd first started. But the past few years in SVU had taught Alex to appreciate the moments she could snatch away from work. She watched carefully as one of the dogs wandered forward to the length of her leash. "God...I could get spoiled by weekends like this, you know..."

Abbie sighed and stretched, unzipping her coat as they stepped into the sun again, "I know, me too." She reached down to tug at the stick one of the dogs had in her mouth. It was almost comically long, but the dog wasn't giving it up anytime soon. Eventually Abbie gave up. "I badly need to clean my place, but I can't be forced inside right now."

"Just stay at mine for a few more days," Alex said. She pressed closer to Abbie, their hips bumping together, and she laughed. She could well imagine what Abbie's apartment looked like. Alex's was a bit of a mess as well, but after one too many ripped shirts, Abbie had learned not to leave her clothes lying out...and after some other unfortunate incidents, Alex had forbidden her from ordering pizza when she was over. "My dry cleaning came back today...I'm pretty sure two of your suits are in it." She smirked.

Abbie didn't know whether to roll her eyes at the presumption or just smile. Instead she just reached out and pulled Alex close, leaning her back slightly as she kissed her. "Mmm....you're gonna make sure I never get around to that cleaning at this rate." She let Alex back up after a long moment, "but isn't that what spring's for?"

"So I've heard," Alex replied. She touched her lips lightly with her fingertips and smiled before wrapping the arm around Abbie's waist. It was so nice to simply be out, not to worry. And she realized that she hadn't in a long time. That made Alex's smile grow even as her next thought caught her off guard. She stopped walking and turned to Abbie, taking both of her elbows and pulling her close. "You know...I have the room...and the closet space..."

The brunette cocked her head. "Alex..." Her voice trailed upward, "Are you asking me to move in with you? Or just thinking of going shopping?" For some reason the conversation was making her blush.

"I'm asking you..." She licked her lips as she searched for the right words. Abbie was...incredibly tempting when Alex could manage to catch her off guard, but she didn't want that to distract her...just yet. "I'm asking you to think about it with me." She took Abbie's hands and squeezed them. "How's that?"

Abbie kissed Alex's fingers, then smiled, "that sounds quite reasonable counsel." She kissed Alex on the cheek, then stepped away, tugging the other woman by the hand, "maybe we should think about it over lunch. We can go to that place where you like the salad."

Laughing as they started to walk forward briskly, their arms swinging from their linked hands, Alex shook her head. "And I think we might just be able to get that strawberry shortcake with Bavarian cream you like so much to go..." She smirked. "I'm sure we could figure out somewhere else to enjoy it."


	35. Credible Threat

Olivia had offered her apartment, but Alex refused, still insisting that she wanted to go home, gathering any calm she could find and trying to fight to remain normal. But she was still seeing spots, her ears were still ringing from the explosion. She went home. She showered, cleaned the small cuts on her face, but she realized that she'd forgotten to wash her hair. But she couldn't stay there; she couldn't pretend to sleep alone. And she found herself standing at Abbie's door, pizza in hand and federal marshal at her side. Abbie would know, and Alex was afraid to even admit that she was afraid of what her response would be. She paused, hand poised to knock rather than simply getting out her key. And when she did knock, it was quietly. "Abbie...?"

Abbie went to the door, "Alex?" It wasn't unusual for Alex to show up at her apartment unannounced, but this case had put everyone on edge, and she wasn't expecting the blonde to be anywhere but at home with guards at the door. She slid the bolt, and opened the door, immediately taking in a breath at Alex's appearance, and the marshal, as Abbie had come to recognize them well enough, next to her. "God Alex, what happened now?" Abbie had been trying very hard not to think about the very real danger of the situation, but wasn't doing very well. She all but pulled Alex inside before she could answer.

"I brought pizza." Of all the things Alex could have said, had thought of saying on the drive over, and that was all she could manage. Her voice was hushed. She didn't really hear herself. And she felt numb as she offered the box. "Your favorite..."

Abbie took the box and set it on the table. She had half a mind to just pull Alex's guard aside and get the real story on how serious this was. The brunette looked back at Alex's forlorn expression and wondered if she'd even notice. "Thanks." Abbie tried to smile at her, but her eyes kept wandering to the scrapes and shock on Alex's features. "But where are you supposed to be tonight?" She wanted nothing more than to keep Alex there that night, to try and keep her safe, but there were rules about these things.

"Home." Alex glanced back at the agent, half remembering what it took to get the pizza and get over to Abbie's. But she hadn't stopped insisting until she was given what she wanted. The danger overall was a distant, looming threat, but seeing Abbie was a real need. "I'm supposed to be home, but I...we need to talk."

Abbie's stomach clenched at the blonde's tone, and she just nodded, not sure what more could be dropped on her right then. She gave a look to the agent, and nodded to the bedroom, trying to impart that she wouldn't be helping Alex crawl out the window, or anything of the sort.

It was a concession that the agent would be inside at all times. Alex had made it hastily. It didn't matter; she didn't feel safe or comforted. She wasn't feeling much besides a numb sort of fear behind her mind racing. The case, her job, her mother's... She followed Abbie to the bedroom and sank heavily to the bed. In some respects she had brought this on herself; she thought back to her words that afternoon, to the way she quipped and the way Zapata reacted. "You probably saw the car bomb on the news." Again, it wasn't how she intended to begin.

Abbie paused, standing beside the bed and looking at Alex, nodding quietly, "You were there?" That much hadn't been clear on the news, but there had been rumors at the office and Abbie was starting to get the eerie feeling that conversations in the hall and break rooms were cutting off abruptly when she entered. "I think you should leave town Alex. I'll go with you, anywhere, this case isn't worth it."

Alex drew in a long, shuddering breath. Now that she knew Abbie's initial reaction to her being there, she knew she had to go on, and she knew that it wasn't going to get easier. "I...mouthed off to Zapata after he said something absolutely insulting about women," she began, waving her hand as if to wave away the rest of the circumstances, "and he tried to come at me. Abbie," Alex looked up as she twisted her hands in her lap, "there's been a threat against me. There's...they know my address, my mother's...they know when I do and when I don't go jogging, for God's sake."

Abbie put her hand to her forehead, trying to steady herself, "Alex....you need to go. You need to stop being a stubborn brat, and let them keep you safe." She didn't mean to, but her fear was coming out as anger, "I'm serious Alex, this is real. I can't believe you took the risk of going out tonight just to tell me about this." She reached out and pulled Alex up to her feet, meaning to drag her to the door.

"Abbie..." Alex grabbed the brunette's arms harder than she meant to and looked her so directly in the eyes that her own reflection there startled her, "A man is dead because I pushed for his testimony because I might not have a case without him. And a police officer is dead because some scumbag thinks women are completely disposable. This is my job. _This is my job._ And I have to accept the risks...I..." She sounded more vehement than she felt, but Alex knew that was the resolution she had to come to.

Abbie choked, and just grabbed Alex and pulled her into an almost frantic kiss, a hand twisting in her already disheveled hair. It was as much to simply try and stop Alex from saying those things, things that would continue to risk her life, as it was about want. Moments later, she shoved the blonde back, and nearly marched her by force into the other room. "No Alex, this is your life." Abbie held her tone as steady as she could, and pushed Alex away toward the agent. The brunette straightened and addressed her instead of Alex, "Take her home, and make sure she doesn't leave again. Tie her up if you have to." And she was only half joking. Abbie nearly shuddered at the confusion and hurt creeping up in Alex's expression. When this was over, she would apologize to the blonde, would do whatever she wanted to make it right, but this was serious and Abbie wouldn't be the reason Alex put herself in even more danger.

"Stop," Alex said forcefully. She could still taste the kiss, and she could also feel the sting of tears in her eyes. Turning away from Abbie, Alex looked at the agent, imploring him to give them a moment, which she grudgingly did, noting that she would be just outside of the door. "Abbie, stop...just stop. Please..." She stepped closer to her, reaching for her. "I don't want to go home, and I can't... just let this go." The blood would be on her hands--that's what the DEA agent had said--and it was. His blood was on her hands, and she couldn't simply let that go.

She relented for only a moment, holding Alex long enough to quiet her before her earlier conviction took over again and she pulled Alex toward the door, "You're being irrational Alex. And honestly, you're scaring me to death." She took a breath before opening the door, "But if you're going to be so goddamn stubborn you're at least going to do what the feds tell you to." She knocked on the door for the agent, and slowly pushed Alex away again, though not with the same force. Before he stepped back in, Abbie leaned in and kissed the blonde gently on the cheek, "I love you darlin,' enough to let you get mad at me for this." Abbie stepped back then and nodded at the agent, "She's ready to go home now." Tears were starting to sting her eyes, but she held them back.

Alex pulled away, her own angry tears starting, making the way they were parting even worse. She knew something like this would happen, but despite it, all she had wanted was to crawl in bed with Abbie, to be held while she lay awake. And somehow, she thought that might have been enough to get her through the next day. The source of Abbie's reaction was not immune to gossip, even years after it had happened. Alex didn't want to hear about it directly, but she wanted to tell Abbie that it wasn't the same, that her situation wasn't the same. She wanted to shake her, and she felt the color rising in her cheeks, the blood rushing in her ears, obscuring Abbie's words. "Fine," she said quietly. "Fine, Abbie." But she wasn't walking out; she was conceding, and Alex hated that even more.


	36. Fragile

The night was so clear that even though Jack was tired, he was looking forward to his ride home. He was smiling to himself, breathing in the promise of a coming chill in the air when his phone began to ring. Almost…he almost ignored it in favor of starting his bike, but Jack backed away from it as he answered.

"McCoy." Arthur Branch's voice met him on the other end of the line, and Jack knew from the tone that it couldn't be good, that it wouldn't be good. He expected to be pulled back into the office so much so that he was already directing his steps back there. Whatever it was would doubtlessly become more clear once he was in his office, and with any luck, he could delegate or do enough to appease Branch for the night and tackle it in the morning.

But he stopped. He stopped when Branch's words became clear. He stared at his shadow as it loomed in front of him underneath a streetlight. And when he hung up, Jack let out a breath and bounced twice on his toes before he turned. He looked at his bike, ran his fingers through his hair and walked past it.

Jack's wasn't so resolved to his task that he was eager to get to Abbie's. He needed the time, the walk, the city air to help him find the words, to prepare him for the look on Abbie's face. But he was standing in front of her door, raising his hand to knock on it all too soon for any of that.

The knock made her jump. She'd been sitting in the living room, fingers anxiously wrapped around a beer that had long grown warm. Something was on the television in front of her, but she wasn't really paying attention. Alex had looked so hurt, so angry, and she hoped she'd done the right thing. Her stomach was twisting as she went to answer the door. "Jack." Her eyebrows raised, he wasn't an unwelcome sight, just highly unexpected. But as she looked at his expression, her own fell, "Something's wrong."

"Abbie..." Jack tried to smile, but he could only imagine what the expression looked like. He flexed his fingers as if he wished he had something in his hands--his hat, a bag of takeout, or anything, anything at all. "Can I come in?" He could hear the low volume of the television coming from the living room, and he wondered if it had made the news yet, if it was even time for the news.

Abbie nodded and stepped back to let Jack in, still looking pensively at him. "What is it Jack? I know you, and you're not here to ask my advice on a case."

"You know Alex had to drop her case." He took off his jacket and folded it over his arm. Jack couldn't find the words yet. He was sure Abbie knew, was sure Alex would have told her. What he didn't know about the two two women outweighed what he did, but he knew Abbie Carmichael...and he knew she didn't like being in the dark. Jack sighed, his words failing him for a moment.

"Yes I heard." And it was what had kept her up, waiting to see Alex like she promised later that night, and also what kept her home, the solace that she had seen reason. "I hate to admit it, but I was relieved Jack."

He was nodding his head as if he had been too. He had been; Branch had been. Hell, half the office had breathed a sigh of relief. And just that much made him nearly choke on his words as he gently took Abbie by the shoulder. Jack looked her in the eyes--she deserved that much. "She's gone, Abbie. She was leaving the bar with the SVU detectives..." He shook his head, slow anger building in his chest. "It was a drive-by."

Abbie froze. It didn't make sense, and was perfect logic at the same time. She shook her head silently and started to back away. Alex was...fine...the case was over...Abbie already knew how she was going to apologize to her...this wasn't possible. And yet she knew it, knew it the moment Jack had knocked that it was real. She kept backing up; she hit a wall. The blood drained from her features and her stomach dropped, then rebelled.

The lack of anything but the beer that night suddenly made her head spin, and she darted down the hall to the bathroom. The tiles were cold under her knees. When she could manage, Abbie just lay on them, knowing Jack would still be there in the hall, "who was it? God Jack tell me they caught him." She knew better to ask why, though if the shooter was somewhere Abbie could find him she was going to be on her way to a life sentence. But the retribution would be worth it.

"Not yet," Jack managed, mouth dry. He took several steps but stopped short of the door. He knew she wouldn't want him to see her like that. "We don't know, Abbie...we don't know..." And they might never know, but he didn't need to say that. There was so much that he didn't need to say and so much that would be useless. Jack looked at the floor as he thought of all of the pointless losses. And he remembered the last time... "Abbie, I'm sorry."

Abbie slowly stood on weak legs to clean up as best she could. She was silent until she turned off the tap, "Where did they take her?" The words sounded strange, and she supposed it wasn't really Alex anymore either, but Abbie wanted to know. She stepped out into the hall, only vaguely aware of the tears that were already starting to run over her cheeks. She'd held them back after Toni, been strong, but now they seemed magnified.

As he shook his head, Jack took Abbie's shoulders. He'd only seen her cry once before, and he knew better than to try to wipe away her tears. "She's gone." And he couldn't give her more than that, no matter how much he wished her could. But he also couldn't tell her to keep her chin up, to look past it. Jack wasn't sure what he could give Abbie in that moment; as he looked into her eyes, he wasn't sure that there was anyone who could say the right thing. "She didn't make it out of surgery...it was a couple of hours ago."

"Hours...Jack.." She couldn't help it, and Abbie pitched forward into Jack's arms, her tears immediately staining the fabric of his shirt. She spoke without moving, "Jack...she has family..and...do they know?" It wasn't her greatest concern in the moment, the shock still too great, but it was all that came to mind.

He would have told her sooner had he known. He would have taken her to the hospital himself. Jack caught Abbie and wrapped his arms around her as he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. He felt tired, old. He'd seen too many good people, young people, die. "They know," he said quietly. "They know, Abbie." Arrangements were being made, he was sure. They would know in the morning about the funeral. But he wasn't sure if that was really what Abbie needed him to answer.

Abbie didn't respond, her voice wouldn't come out if she tried. She was leaning on Jack, and he was holding her up but it didn't really register. Someplace in her consciousness Abbie could hear a phone ringing, and felt Jack reach for it when she didn't protest.

That someone would call didn't surprise Jack. It had to be after eleven. It would have been on the news, but the voice on the other end caught him off guard. And when he hung up, he gently pushed Abbie back. "Get your coat," he said quietly.

Her eyes moved up to give him a confused glance, and she coughed as she brushed away a few tears, which were soon replaced. "Why? Who was it?" Still, she was already moving to do as he requested. It didn't really matter what happened to her that night, nothing was real anyway.

"Nora." Jack didn't question why she wanted to see Abbie. The two women had built a friendship out of nothing but controversy, or so it seemed to him. But he hoped that Nora could give Abbie something he couldn't just then. He hoped the distance that he didn't have would be enough. And as Abbie waited for him, he turned off her television and went about turning off all of the lights before picking up her keys. She was still in shock, he thought.

She was, and the tall brunette just watched passively as he did so, then followed him out. She didn't wait for him to lock the door before drifting down the hall and calling the elevator. She turned toward him while they waited, "Is that where we're going?"

"Yeah, Abbie. It's where we're going." Jack took her shoulder again and guided her into the elevator. He hated seeing her like this as much as he hated having to be the one to break this type of news. His own anger at the utter pointlessness of the loss, of all the losses like it, grew. And even as Jack felt old, he felt the nee for retribution of some kind. And as he directed their steps towards Nora's, knowing it wasn't far, he hoped the night air would do Abbie some good as well as doing him some before he went back to the office.

The air was cold, but Abbie couldn't feel it. All she could tell as they walked was that she was shaking, whether from the grief, or her hollow stomach she couldn't tell. Soon Jack was pausing, and Abbie glanced up the trunk of the familiar magnolia tree in front of the brownstone. The flowers were long gone, and the early chill was making quick work of the leaves. But Jack was pulling her gently away, and she tripped slightly on the brick steps.

When Nora opened the door, it took a great deal of restraint not to simply pull Abbie inside. There was something vacant in her expression, and that was more than what Nora had worried for. She took off her glasses and nodded to Jack. He looked tired. They all, she imagined, looked tired. "Thank you, Jack." Words that she had said often enough to him, but she meant them different and with more now. And she knew from his grave nod to her and significant look to Abbie before he turned away, that he understood that he had done all he could do. And that was when she gently took Abbie inside.

Abbie drifted into the apartment and stepped out of her shoes. They didn't match, but she didn't notice. The world was getting blurrier by the minute, "You've heard?" She suddenly felt warm, and shed her coat onto the floor. Abbie was tired, so tired, but her mind was still racing. She was supposed to be home now, Alex was going to be there and it was going to be alright. She was going to take her to bed and fix things, keep her safe and wake up next to her like she'd been aching to do all week.

"Let me make you some tea." Nora guided Abbie to the kitchen, leaving her things where they fell, and sat her down at the table there. She'd put the kettle on as she called Jack. The cup and saucer were already ready, and she methodically poured the hot water over the teabag. Before taking the steaming drink to Abbie, she put a small white pill on the saucer. "I heard," she said softly as she sat it in front of Abbie and sat down beside her. There was no sense in telling the brunette that she would be okay just then. Abbie wouldn't be able to hear it anyway.

Abbie stared at the tea as it started to cool. She reached and quietly took the addition from the saucer, slipping it past her lips and swallowing it first. Whatever it was, she trusted Nora, and maybe it would quiet her mind. She picked up the tea and took a careful sip, relaxing enough that the tears returned. She sniffed and looked up. "This has to stop happening...It has to...Just has to."

"It will." Nora took Abbie's hand and squeezed it lightly. The brunette would sleep soundly now, and she would sleep enough. And regardless of what she might think about that in the morning, her body would feel better. The odds...the odds had not been with Abbie that night, and Nora knew that there was so little she could do. "It's time to rest, Abbie," she said quietly as she rubbed her thumb over the back of Abbie's hand.

As she put her cup down, Abbie nodded dumbly. The room was starting to get soft around the edges, and she could see Nora standing, felt the other woman pull her gently out of her chair. Her own voice sounded far away, and she didn't protest when Nora guided her down the hall, "She was angry at me Nora. I sent her away...I..." Her next words faded out. They were supposed to be something about the pointlessness of it all if you just lost everyone in the end, but the thought just swirled uselessly in her mind as she sobbed again.

Nora held her tightly and simply let her cry. Whatever she might say, besides the nothings she whispered as she stroked Abbie's dark hair, would be useless. She would have the whole story in the morning. She would let Abbie speak when she could. But then, all she could do was let her cry. All she could do was guide her upstairs and help her undress, removing each piece of clothing and seeing signs of her reactions to whatever Jack had said, and carefully put her in bed, offering her shoulder once again, letting the brunette's tears wet it until she slipped into quiet sleep. And then, all she could do was sigh at just how fragile all of it was.


	37. Fine

Even though she knew Abbie would be asleep for hours, Nora watched for a moment longer before covering the brunette more tightly. She left the bedroom door cracked, and she was careful with her steps down the stairs. When she'd seen the news, Abbie had been her first clear thought. Now, she had others. She picked up her phone and dialed the familiar number before she sat. As the line began to ring, Nora realized she hadn't really taken a deep breath yet.

Liz was curling up with a hot cup of tea, spiked with something stronger, when her phone rang. It had been ringing off and on all night and she had been ignoring most of the calls. But this call was different and Liz quickly answered. "Nora..."

"Liz..." Nora rubbed her head lightly as she settled onto the sofa. "I'm sorry to call so late. I saw on the news..." There was very little she could hear in Liz's voice in one word. But she could tell that the blonde was tired. They were all tired.

"It isn't a problem. I..." Liz sighed and sipped her tea. "I doubt I'll be getting much sleep tonight anyway." She grabbed a blanket from her back of her couch and wrapped it around her shoulders.

"I understand..." She wouldn't be either, she didn't think. But Nora realized that there were probably quite a few people who wouldn't be sleeping. She and Liz had never discussed the real nature of Liz and Alex's relationship. The hadn't had to, hadn't needed to. Nora knew it was close, knew that it had helped Alex in some way that was probably not small. She sighed softly. "How are you?"

"About as well as you'd expect." Liz sighed again. It was the only expression of her grief that she had allowed herself, but she knew that that would change. It just wasn't real yet. "Have you talked to Abbie?" Liz rubbed her forehead. She should have thought about Abbie sooner and she desperately hoped that the other woman was alright.

"She's here," Nora responded automatically. There was very little need to be careful, and she didn't have to remind herself of that. But those days were not entirely gone for her. Abbie still needed her, it seemed...even if it ws the first time in quite some time. And if Liz needed to talk about her instead of herself, Nora would indulge that. "She's a mess, Liz."

"Do you need anything?" Liz ran a hand through her hair. "Is there anything that I can do for either of you?"

"I'm not sure..." Nora pursed her lips thoughtfully as she shifted the phone to her other ear. "I'm not sure that there's much of anything either of us can do for her. Devastated would be an understatement, I think... I gave her a sleeping pill, God forgive me."

"I'm sure it was for the best." Liz put her empty mug down. "It still doesn't seem real, but I've been writing ever since I heard. I just, I don't know if I'll ever really understand why she did it."

"She was passionate.... We all were," Nora finished quietly, almost under her breath. She shook her head again, feeling the pointlessness like a weight. But Liz didn't need her to explain that. Neither did Abbie. "Is there anything I can do for you, Liz?"

"I'm fine." The response was automatic, a reflex.

"Let me know..." There was little else she could she could say, and Nora knew that. "Let me know if there's anything. And the funeral..." She sighed softly one last time.

"I will." Liz swallowed against the lump in her throat. "You as well. If there's anything that I can do for you or Abbie."

"Of course. Good night, Liz...try to get some sleep." When she hung up, Nora let her head rest back against the cushions. The morning would come too swiftly, too swiftly for them all.


	38. In Circles

Nora had tried to get her to stay, to take the time off—God knew she had the time. But for some reason Abbie had refused, had insisted that she needed to go to the office. She got there late, having slept in until mid-morning on account of whatever Nora had given here.

She was rested, but it only added to the surreal feeling surrounding everything. Even though he wasn't down the hall anymore, Jack had dutifully shown up at noon with lunch, and refused to leave until she ate, though she couldn't taste anything.

There had been glances, minute touches on the shoulder, or brief hugs in doorways from people Abbie barely knew. News traveled fast, especially when it was bad. And now it was late, the sun had long since set over the City, and Abbie was finally alone in her darkened office. And for some reason she was reaching for her phone and dialing a number she hadn't in months, maybe over a year. It started to ring, and even that felt like a dream, but she wasn't waking up.

"Taylor Hamilton," Taylor said as she answered her phone. She hadn't looked at the caller id beyond seeing that the number was from the US Attorney's office, which could only mean more work.

Abbie paused at hearing the familiar voice. The silence hung long enough that she could hear shifting on the other end of the line. Before Taylor could speak again though, she managed to respond, though her voice was quiet and didn't sound like hers, "Taylor...it's Abbie. I..." She fumbled, "I don't know why I called."

"Abbie?" Taylor had seen it on the news and everyone in the office had been talking about it. She was worried about Abbie, but she wasn't sure that a visit would have been welcomed. "It's okay. I don't mind." She turned away from her desk, focusing all of her attention on Abbie. "Are you okay? Is there anything that I can do for you?"

Abbie coughed, trying to get her voice back, "I…I'm alright." No she wasn't, but it was an automatic response, "I guess I just wanted to hear your voice." For comfort, or maybe just to assure herself that she wasn't gone also.

"Are you still at work?" Taylor didn't believe that Abbie was really okay, not even for the time that it had taken the other woman to say it. "Why don't I pick up some dinner or something."

"Oh. No I'm okay…but thanks" She wanted to be alone. Even after everything, Taylor was still almost too loyal, but somehow it made her strong enough to ask what she really had wanted to in the first place. "It's just...you know the service is tomorrow?" She could feel her earlier tears coming back and was fighting them.

"Yeah, I know." It was everything she could do not to just walk out of her office and find Abbie, but she forced herself to stay where she was.

"And I just," Now she was crying again, but tried to keep it out of her voice, "I don't think I can go alone." Of course she wouldn't be alone really, but it wouldn't be appropriate to be crying on the shoulder of her former boss...any of them really.

"I'll come by and pick you up, okay?" She could tell that Abbie was crying and she hated that there wasn't anything that she could do about it.

Abbie was nodding, and it took her a few moments to realize Taylor couldn't see it over the phone. She had to cover a sniff by coughing before she could respond, "Thank you...Just, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah. I'll see you then." Taylor waited for Abbie to hang up before she put her phone down and turned back to her desk. She hoped that Abbie would be okay alone that night, or that if she wasn't, she would call her again.

Finally, Abbie managed to put the phone down before slumping forward onto the desk in front of her. At least now she had to, she had to make herself get up the next day and try to say goodbye.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Bookends](https://archiveofourown.org/works/92814) by [futureimperfect](https://archiveofourown.org/users/futureimperfect/pseuds/futureimperfect), [Miri Cleo (miri_cleo)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/miri_cleo/pseuds/Miri%20Cleo)
  * [Nihil Durat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/94078) by [futureimperfect](https://archiveofourown.org/users/futureimperfect/pseuds/futureimperfect), [Miri Cleo (miri_cleo)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/miri_cleo/pseuds/Miri%20Cleo)




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